I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. People are difficult to understand on their best days, but now Lady Human has taken to using gibberish words that don’t fit with any language of dog-kind or humankind.
Me: Are you saying that you understand all words in all languages?
Stella: I know enough to recognize nonsense words when I hear them.
Me: Give me one example of a nonsense word that I have used.
Stella: One example? Try these on for size: dup, nop, buh, tssst…
Me: Well, I don’t know. Maybe. I may have made those noises.
Stella: If you would just get me one of those little boxes that I have been asking for, I could prove it.
Me: A cell phone? How about ‘no’?
Stella: So what does the word ‘dup’ mean?
Me: It’s sort of a cross between ‘nope’ and I don’t know what. I only use it when you all are going outside and then you decide to turn around and go on a bulldog reign of terror.
Stella: And saying ‘dup’ is supposed to stop us?
Me: It’s what I say when I don’t know what to say. If I say ‘stop’, nobody listens. If I yell ‘hey’, nobody listens. I would doubt your hearing except that you all hear every food can that opens and every vehicle that passes and you hear people at the door before they even knock.
Stella: Then what does ‘nop’ mean?
Me: It’s the double negative form of ‘dup’.
Stella: And ‘buh’ and ‘tssst’?
Me: Desperation words. When nothing works on y’all, random stuff just comes out of my mouth.
Stella: Well, ‘buh’ and ‘tssst’ to that! You make us sound like we’re bulldogs or something. So yay for us! Is ‘yay’ a real word?
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.