Sneaky, Sneaky Humans – Conversations with Stella and the Pack


I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human sneaked out of the house again today. We have no idea where she went.

Tiger:  Shhhh! She will hear us.

Wiggles:  Does she smell like beef?

Miss Sweetie:  I smell food.

Doodlebug:  Beef?

Miss Sweetie:  No, not good food.

Stella:  So, she went someplace that had bad human food.

Doodlebug:  What was it? I can’t get close enough to smell her clothes.

Stella:  Just sneak up behind her. Hey, she sneaked out on us, didn’t she?

Me:  Hey, stop that.

Doodlebug:  May I please sniff your pants?

Me:  No, sir. I don’t need bulldog nose boogers on my clothes, thank you.

Doodlebug:  What if I can sniff your clothes without leaving nose boogers?

Me:  That has never happened yet, so the answer is still ‘no’.

Tiger:  You sneaked out. You ate food. We stayed here. It was sad.

Me:  Every once in a while, I go out for a few hours. Today I went to a movie. I haven’t been to one in a long time.

Stella:  Poor us. Why couldn’t you just watch the silly Picture Box here? It has all those silly human movies on it.

Me:  This one is new, and I wanted to see it on a big screen.

Stella:   Like your Picture Box is not big enough. Those humans on that thing are big enough to eat my head. Wait. Can they eat my head?

Me:  No. They are just flat pictures. They can’t come out of the television.

Stella:  Are you sure?

Me:  Positive.

Stella:  I don’t know, Lady Human. Someone who would sneak away from her dogs simply to watch a giant Picture Box might not know what a little Picture Box is capable of. Don’t you feel guilty now?

Me:  Maybe a little.

Stella:  Enough to let me sniff your clothes?




Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.



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