I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human sneaked out of the house again today. We have no idea where she went.
Tiger: Shhhh! She will hear us.
Wiggles: Does she smell like beef?
Miss Sweetie: I smell food.
Doodlebug: Beef?
Miss Sweetie: No, not good food.
Stella: So, she went someplace that had bad human food.
Doodlebug: What was it? I can’t get close enough to smell her clothes.
Stella: Just sneak up behind her. Hey, she sneaked out on us, didn’t she?
Me: Hey, stop that.
Doodlebug: May I please sniff your pants?
Me: No, sir. I don’t need bulldog nose boogers on my clothes, thank you.
Doodlebug: What if I can sniff your clothes without leaving nose boogers?
Me: That has never happened yet, so the answer is still ‘no’.
Tiger: You sneaked out. You ate food. We stayed here. It was sad.
Me: Every once in a while, I go out for a few hours. Today I went to a movie. I haven’t been to one in a long time.
Stella: Poor us. Why couldn’t you just watch the silly Picture Box here? It has all those silly human movies on it.
Me: This one is new, and I wanted to see it on a big screen.
Stella: Like your Picture Box is not big enough. Those humans on that thing are big enough to eat my head. Wait. Can they eat my head?
Me: No. They are just flat pictures. They can’t come out of the television.
Stella: Are you sure?
Me: Positive.
Stella: I don’t know, Lady Human. Someone who would sneak away from her dogs simply to watch a giant Picture Box might not know what a little Picture Box is capable of. Don’t you feel guilty now?
Me: Maybe a little.
Stella: Enough to let me sniff your clothes?
Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 