I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Run! Hide! No! Attack! The Yellow Head Eater is back! It is all over Lady Human’s head! She is doomed!
Me: What? No, this is just my towel.
Doodlebug: I’ll grab it! Jump!
Me: No! Doodle! Stop it! No!
Doodlebug: I’ve got it! I’ll stomp it into the ground.
Me: Oh, good night, Irene!
Miss Sweetie: It’s not bedtime yet. And who is Irene?
Me: That’s just an old expression my mama and grandma used to avoid real cussing. Doodlebug! Let go of my towel!
Tiger: Doodlebug saved you, Lady Human. That yellow monster was eating your head.
Me: We’ve gone through this before. This is why we can’t have nice things. I can’t leave the bathroom with a towel around my wet hair. It is not a monster. You have seen towels before, lots of times.
Wiggles: But they do not usually try to eat your head.
Me: Just when I think that you understand what I am doing…
Stella: Let me explain it to them, Lady Human. Hey, everybody, humans do weird things. If Lady Human walks around with a scary thing wrapped around her head, if she is not screaming and yelling, leave her alone.
Wiggles: But what if she…
Stella: Nope.
Doodlebug: But what if it…
Stella: Nope.
Miss Sweetie: Why can’t we grab…
Stella: Nope.
Tiger: Then there is nothing we can do.
Stella: Nope. They are humans. We have to let them be stupid.
Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 