I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Everything was normal. We had breakfast as usual. We went outside to potty as usual. And then, suddenly, Lady Human disappeared!
Me: I did not disappear.
Stella: Well, I couldn’t see you. I called. You did not answer.
Me: I went on a little excursion.
Stella: Is that the human word for abandoning bulldogs?
Me: I left for three – count them – three hours.
Stella: Sneaking out like a guilty teenager.
Me: May I remind you that I am a human adult? I don’t sneak out.
Stella: You came back late.
Me: I came back early.
Stella: It seemed late to us. Why would you sneak out like that and leave us all alone?
Me: Tall Man was here when I left.
Stella: And then he went to that mysterious place he calls ‘work’. And we had to sit here a whole other hour and a half until you came traipsing back in like nothing had happened.
Me: Nothing did happen. You were all fine. In fact, you were napping when I arrived. It was ten minutes before any of you noticed that I was here.
Stella: What was so important that you had to sneak out of the house?
Me: Once again, I did no sneaking. I went to a pen show in town.
Stella: Pen show? You mean pens like those short sticks that you use to scratch on paper.
Stella: They have shows for that sort of thing? Dog shows, I understand. Dogs are wonderful to see. But scratchy sticks that make marks on paper? Nonsense. You’re making that up.
Me: Nevertheless, that’s where I went. And, just to let you know, I may go back tomorrow. Tomorrow is the last day of the show and there are lots of tables I didn’t see adequately because I was trying not to stay away too long from y’all.
Stella: Likely story. I have my eye on you, Lady Human. I’ll be watching.
Me: Then I’ll be sneaking.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.