Shhhh! Everybody stay down! I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and I am warning you. The human known to us as Tall Man was followed into the house by a Giant Floating Enemy. He does not appear to be aware of the danger. No! Now he is handing a string to Lady Human and the Giant Floating Enemy is floating in her direction. LADY HUMAN, WATCH OUT!
Me: Watch out for what? Nothing’s going on.
Stella: That! That! That…thing!
Me: This is a balloon. Tall Man gave it to me for Valentine’s Day. Isn’t it cute?
Stella: No! It is big! It is weird! IT IS FLOATING!
Me: It’s cool! There is a gas inside of it that is lighter than the air out here so it floats.
Stella: IT HAS GAS! NO! THAT’S HORRIBLE! EVERYONE, COVER YOUR NOSES!
Me: Not that kind of gas, Stella. After all, it is not a bulldog.
Stella: What is it supposed to be?
Me: It is a balloon. A type of toy. It is shaped like a cartoon bear.
Stella: Where did it come from? Outer space?
Me: It’s man-made.
Stella: Why do humans keep coming up with these scary things? Did the bears say it was all right to make them look like that?
Me: It’s cute. We like fun, cute things, especially around holidays.
Stella: You had another holiday? Is that all that people do? One holiday right after another? Another excuse to bring strange things into the house?
Me: Our idea of fun is different than yours.
Stella: So, this balloon – can you eat it?
Stella: Can you sleep on it?
Me: No, not really.
Stella: Can you chew it?
Me: No, not a good idea.
Stella: A giant bag of gas is floating through the house, scaring everybody, but no one can eat it, sleep on it, chew on it, or really play with it, and the humans made this on purpose.
Me: Well, that makes it sound kind of stupid.
Stella: Lady Human, enough said.
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