I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. But I have been told that Stella was not my original name. My original name was Chata. My first people gave me that name. I don’t know why. I don’t know why I was renamed Stella. Why, Lady Human, why?
Me: Do you remember your first year and a half?
Stella: A little. It’s a bit of a fuzz now.
Me: When you came to us, we figured it was time for a new start. My daughter wanted to name you Stella because of a bulldog she saw on a television show that was named Stella.
Stella: The Picture Box show was named Stella?
Me: No, sorry, the dog on the show was named Stella. I liked it because it means star and, also, I had never had a dog named Stella.
Stella: You have never had a dog named a whole lot of things. Okay, why is Snoopey Snoopey?
Me: Tall Man thought she looked like Snoopy in the Charlie Brown comics.
Stella: What? She doesn’t look anything…where did he get that idea? That dog is a beagle. Duh. And it’s a cartoon.
Me: She just reminded him of that cartoon.
Stella: How insulting! A bulldog reminding him of a cartoon beagle. Miss Sweetie’s name, I can guess. You thought she was just so special and sweet. Boy, were you fooled.
Me: She is sweet. A little messy and smelly, but sweet.
Stella: I love Sweetie, but sweet she is not. Did you see how sweet she was playing with Doodlebug? She was so sweet that he ended up with bloody spots. How sweet was that?
Me: Not very, but he didn’t seem to mind.
Stella: And Doodlebug. What kind of a name is that for a bulldog?
Me: Well, Tall Man noticed that when you look at Doodlebug straight on, his face looks like the face of a …doodlebug.
Stella: What, pray tell, is a doodlebug?
Me: Some people call them roly poly bugs or pill bugs or sow bugs when they really aren’t bugs at all. They are distantly related to lobsters. They are arthropods.
Stella: EEEEWWW! He is named after a lobster bug. It sounds like Tall Man ran out of names by the time he got to Doodlebug. And Wiggles? Don’t tell me. Let me guess. Wiggles all the time, right?
Stella: Humans have limited imaginations, don’t they?
Stella: And Tiger. Let ‘s see. She is really a tiger in disguise.
Me: Nope. Though she is a lemon brindle which gives her a striped design on her back. You know Tiger’s story.
Stella: I know. I know. How she got in a fight with a kennel mate at her first home and how she almost died – twice, and how she fought back like a tiger and by the grace of the Great Creator, she lived and healed up and how she wasn’t supposed to be able to walk without a limp, but she can now. She can even jump high. And run. All right, all right. I guess she deserves the name Tiger after all.
Me: Wow, that’s quite an admission for you. Tell me, if you could choose your own name, what would it be?
Stella: That’s easy. Princess Beautiful McBeautyFace.
Me: Princess? Isn’t that a demotion?
Stella: Mmmm, nope, because if I can change my name anytime I want to, I can change my title, too. After all, what’s in a name?
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.