It’s about that Time – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, where is our food, please?

Me: Oh, yeah, it’s about that time, isn’t it?

Sweetie: Oh, not that “time” thing again.

Me: Well, it’s on schedule.

Sweetie: But the other day, you changed the “time” when we ate, so this “schedule” thing must not be all that.

Doodlebug: And a bag of potato chips. Are potato chips on the “schedule” thing? ‘Cause I wouldn’t mind it if they were. Wonderful things, potato chips.

MoonCat: Wonderful things – regular meals and never being really hungry. Don’t forget the important stuff. And the occasional can of tunafish.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Saving Time – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: I’ll be ready to play in a few minutes. Let me spend a little more time on this project.

Sweetie: What happened to all that time you saved the other day. Spend that and play now.

Me: That’s not exactly how it works.

Sweetie: It never is how humans say it is, is it, Lady Human?

MoonCat: It took a long time for you to figure that out, didn’t it?

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Spending Time – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Okay, to save some time later, I’m going to feed y’all now.

Sweetie: If you do it now, how does that save time later?

Me: Well, true. The time is still spent.

Sweetie: This time thing has gotten out of control, Lady Human. Now it’s changing when we eat! EATING! THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER!

Doodlebug: And isn’t “spent” what you did with that serious stuff you call “money”?

MoonCat: I can tell this conversation is going to take some time.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Take a Load Off – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Sit down, Lady Human. Take a load off.

Me: Just one more thing.

Doodlebug: Yeah, take a load off. A load off of what?

Sweetie: Her feet. She’s only got two of them. And, I mean, look at her. Would you want to carry all that on only two feet?

MoonCat: Oh, my.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Branches – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Why are these tree arms on the ground? Didn’t the trees want them anymore?

Me: Some trees like pecan trees self-prune.

Doodlebug: Sounds painful.

Me: It can be.

Sweetie: Why do it then?

Me: It can be more painful in the long run not to.

MoonCat: Don’t look at me. I like my limbs just fine.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Silence, Please! – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Roo Roo the Rooster is at it again, Lady Human.

Doodlebug: Yeah, he needs one of those clocks we were talking about because it is way past sunup.

Sweetie: And he is way too loud. Is he in a contest or something?

Baby and Bud: AACCKK! Loud enough?

Me: Sorry, y’all. His head is bigger and his throat is wider than yours. A different fowl altogether.

Baby and Bud: Awwww.

Me: You’re plenty loud on your own.

MoonCat: I’m glad somebody finally said it.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Timetable – Part 2 – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: You have dodged my question, Lady Human. What is time? And what does it have to do with those boxes in your hands or those circles on the wall with moving sticks stuck on them?

Doodlebug: I do like the one with the skinny red moving stick that goes around and around and around…

Sweetie: Yes, I know. Tedious.

Me: You know how the sky gets dark and then it gets light again. Well, people measure time on earth by how fast the earth turns in front of the sun. So if a clock says 8 a.m., we have a good idea how much light there is left in the day.

Sweetie: So the clock is time.

Me: No, clocks measure time here on earth and the time it tells is different depending on where you are.

Sweetie: Tedious.

Me: You have no idea.

MoonCat: Yeah, I have an idea, just by listening to y’all talk about it.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Timetable – Part I – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Why do humans talk about what time it is? What is time?

Me: If you want the scientific explanation, I’m not really qualified to give it.

Sweetie: If ” scientific” means human, no, thank you. I want the real answer.

MoonCat: The real answer? You can’t handle the real answer.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Never Wasteful – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What is that delicious smell-good that is invading my nose? Ooh, it’s coming from the bag in the kitchen.

Me: No, no, no! That’s trash!

Doodlebug: It doesn’t smell like trash. Well, maybe it does. But that’s not a bad thing. Sometimes.

Me: There are no goodies in there for anybody. You’re probably smelling the greasy food leftovers from last night.

Sweetie: I must have missed that. Give me my greasy leftovers.

Me: Sorry, hon, they would upset your stomach.

Sweetie: Never waste food. A bulldog’s mouth is the perfect trash bag.

MoonCat: An accurate description if I ever heard one.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Human Error – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, what are you rummaging for?

Me: Oh, that grocery delivery yesterday was short a few items. They charged for them, but didn’t bring them.

Sweetie: Why?

Me: Somebody just didn’t load them up.

Sweetie: You mean a human made a MISTAKE! Do humans make mistakes?

Me: Where can I even begin?

Doodlebug: At the beginning.

Sweetie: We have all day.

MoonCat: I think this talk may take a lot longer than a day.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved

Food Fight – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Y’all stand back. Grocery delivery is here.

Sweetie: I’ll get it.

Me: No, I’ll get it.

Doodlebug: But it’s our food.

Me: Not this time. This food is for humans.

Doodlebug: Unbelievable!

Sweetie: How selfish!

MoonCat: You wouldn’t happen to be getting any human quality tunafish in those bags, would you? Because if you are…

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

SHHH! Not Out Loud! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Okay, who needs to go potty?

Sweetie: Lady Human! Don’t talk about that! It’s not polite.

Me: A bulldog lecturing me about being polite? It’s a lot less polite if someone has an accident on the floor because they didn’t accept the outdoor invitation.

Doodlebug: I heard the little human say that people were telling too many potty jokes. Humans are so weird. What’s funny about potty time?

Sweetie: Now you’ve got Doodlebug talking about it.

Me: How about this? I open the door and you each decide whether or not to accept the…outdoor opportunity?

Sweetie: To do what?

Me and Doodlebug: POTTY!

MoonCat: I’m so glad I have other arrangements.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

All Wound Up – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Sweetie, what are you doing? Dancing?

Sweetie: Just got to keep moving, moving moving. Tapping. Jumping. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.

Doodlebug: Do stop! It’s annoying.

Me: I could use some of whatever it is you’re traveling on. I don’t even feel that wound up after I’ve had my coffee.

Sweetie: It’s in the air. Don’t you feel it? Don’t you hear it? Buzz, buzz, buzz. Hum. Hum. Hum.

MoonCat: Whatever it is, don’t share it with me. My unwound world is just fine, thank you.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Separate Corners – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Back off, Doodle!

Doodlebug: No, you back off!

Me: Both of you back off! Sweetie, go to that corner! Doodlebug, you head over to that corner! If y’all can’t behave, I have to separate you.

Sweetie: I don’t know if I like this corner. There are other corners. What about that one over there?

MoonCat: That corner is mine. ‘Nough said.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Stay Away from the Edge – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: There is this cool table outside, Lady Human!

Me: I know it well.

Sweetie: Have you stood on it?

Me: Not a pastime of mine.

Doodlebug: I don’t stand on things. I’m tall enough as is.

Sweetie: I looked down at the ground so far below me and it was calling me to jump.

Me: No, it wasn’t.

Sweetie: And I started to put my foot right over the edge, just to do it, to dive into the air…

Me: Listen to me! Stay away from the edge! Resist the temptation.

Sweetie: Then why have the temptation?

Me: So you can learn to resist it.

Sweetie: I still think it would be a hoot.

Me: Until you smashed your chins and your shins on the beckoning ground.

MoonCat: I have four paws worth of sharp claw edge-grabber-temptation-resisters. They never fail me.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Tromping the Same Ole Ground – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, I heard humans talking about taking a trip to some other place. Let’s do that.

Me: Easier said than done sometimes.

Sweetie: But tromping around on the same ole ground is SO BORING!

Doodlebug: Yeah, but it’s OUR ground and that makes it special.

Sweetie: Maybe if you threw a few more treats around, it would get interesting again.

MoonCat: Bribery makes a lot of things more interesting. It’s a good thing I’m not so easily bought.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Quiet Time – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Why are you so quiet, Lady Human? Is it human stuff again?

Me: Yeah.

Doodlebug: Why are you looking at the sky? Is there a storm?

Me: With humans, there’s always a storm somewhere. I like looking at the sky. It’s so big. It reminds me of the One Who made it all.

Sweetie: Bigger than the storm?

Me: Oh, yeah. And bigger than the humans.

MoonCat: Well, that’s good news.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.