Super Bulldog Slurping – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Can y’all pull back on the super doggy slurping a little?

Sweetie: No way, Lady Human. To slurp is to enjoy life.

Doodlebug: If you’ve got a big mouth, use it.

MoonCat: Or not, as the case may be.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Silent Night? – Part 2 – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What happened, Lady Human? No big kabooms last night.

Doodlebug: Yeah, it really was Silent Night. Except for big rolling boxes. And random gunfire.

Me: Okaaay. As I said, the fireworks people shot their wad the night before last.

Sweetie: And didn’t save any for the big day? How stingy!

Me: Y’all didn’t like the noise anyway. And maybe they saved some money to buy treats for their animals.

Sweetie: Oh, well, that’s alright then.

Doodlebug: Yeah, animal treats instead of…

MoonCat: …making big kaboom holes in the sky?

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Silent Night? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, haven’t the humans been singing about a silent night? I don’t think they meant it.

Me: Massive fireworks after midnight is not my idea of a peaceful Christmas celebration.

Doodlebug: Will we have a silent night tonight?

Me: Maybe. If they’ve shot their wad.

Sweetie: I thought you said they shot fireworks.

MoonCat: Yawn. Happy Silent Night to all.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Treat Time! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: It’s that time, Lady Human. That special day.

Doodlebug: Say it out loud together!

Sweetie and Doodlebug: TREAT TIME! TREAT TIME! TREAT TIME NOW! TREAT TIME! TREAT TIME! TREAT TIME NOW!

Me: But that’s not all this day is about, is it? It would still be a special day without the treats.

Sweetie: Let’s not be ridiculous, Lady Human.

MoonCat: Regrettably, I must agree with the bulldogs on this one. Yet another reason it’s a special day.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Gnawing the Bone – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: We’ve brought you a present, Lady Human.

Doodlebug: The humans are giving presents, so we will, too.

Me: Thank y’all so much. I see it’s a…bone.

Sweetie: Not just any bone.

Doodlebug: A gnawing bone.

Sweetie: The best kind of bone.

Doodlebug: For gnawing.

MoonCat: Perfect for those bulldoggy times when nothing else will suffice.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Chewing the Fat – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come you talked into your little hand box so long last night?

Doodlebug: Yeah, you talked and talked. I thought we would never enjoy silence again.

Me: I was chewing the fat with a friend of mine.

Sweetie: Chewing?

Doodlebug: Fat?

Sweetie: Where’s ours? I love fat chewing.

Me: That’s just an expression for talking…

Doodlebug: Another human expression that does not mean what it says.

Sweetie: Teasing us with the dream of chewing fat.

MoonCat: I don’t mind chewing the fat. Just make it short and lean.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

I Take That Back – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, when I told you to give my treats to the cat, you didn’t believe me, did you?

Me: But you said.

Sweetie: What’s that human word when somebody runs too quickly and slides into a garbage can?

Me: Hasty?

Sweetie: Well, that was me. I take it back.

Me: No problem. Treats were delayed. They’re not here yet anyway.

Sweetie: BUT THEY SAID!

Me: So did you.

Sweetie: But I crossed my paws.

MoonCat: I said bulldogs were dumb. I take that back. For the moment.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

That’s What They Said – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, the treats aren’t here.

Me: Nope. Not yet.

Sweetie: But they said they would be here!

Me: Yeah, that’s what they said.

Sweetie: But they’re not here and they said!

Doodlebug: I got my hopes all up. If they didn’t mean it, they shouldn’t have said it.

Sweetie: Nobody should say what they don’t mean! Fine! When the treats come, give mine to the cat.

MoonCat: That’s what I said.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Table Talk – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, why do humans sit by their empty bowls for so long?

Sweetie: Yeah. The food is gone and you all just sit and sit and sit…

Me: We like to talk around the table sometimes.

Sweetie: …and sit and sit…

Me: We did stay at the table quite a while, I’ll admit. People like to visit over meals.

Doodlebug: Aren’t you afraid someone will lick your empty bowl?

MoonCat: Unlike bulldogs, humans have better manners than that.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Confused Sky – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, it’s different today.

Me: Well, every day is, isn’t it?

Sweetie: Now the air is almost warm.

Doodlebug: Yeah, it was cold and then warm, and cold, and then warm. The sky is confused.

Sweetie: Yeah, pick something and stick with it.

MoonCat: The earth is not a restaurant and the sky is not a menu. Hey, Bulldogs, it’s not the sky that’s confused.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Foot Stompin’ Good Time – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Look, Lady Human! On the Big Picture Box! Lots of humans acting crazy. Like humans.

Me: No, they’re just dancing.

Doodlebug: It looks like they’re stomping on bugs. Must be a lot of bugs in that place.

Sweetie: They seem to be having a good time. Stomp those bugs! Stomp those bugs!

MoonCat: Nobody understands good foot stomping like a bulldog, unless it’s a bunch of humans stomping on bugs and calling it dancing.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Warm Up! Now! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, order a warmup! Now!

Me: What makes you think that’s an easy thing?

Sweetie: Humans order everything else.

Me: The weather is not like a pizza. It’s a lot more complicated than that.

Doodlebug: While you’re dealing with the cold, call in a double cheese thick crust.

MoonCat: Make mine anchovy. And hold the pizza.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Harebrained – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Of all the harebrained schemes I’ve ever heard of, this takes the cake!

Sweetie: Lady Human, you are upset. Hair-brained? You mean there’s hair in our brains? Yuck! Now I’m upset!

Me: No, ‘hare’ as in a jackrabbit. I don’t guess you’ve ever seen one. To call something ‘harebrained’ means it’s foolish.

Doodlebug: Did you mention cake? I heard you say ‘cake’. Is that the prize for being a jackrabbit? I’ll be harebrained then.

MoonCat: Is there a prize for ignoring harebrained comments?

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Not My Business – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: How come those humans down the road were so loud last night?

Me: I don’t know.

Sweetie: Aren’t you going to go sniff around and find out?

Me: Nope. Not my business.

Sweetie: Why not stick your nose in anyway?

Me: My nose sticks out way further than a bulldog’s. I don’t want it to get bitten off.

MoonCat: Truer words were never spoken.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog March – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Y’all sure are orderly today. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had learned to march in time.

Sweetie: Step one. Step two. Step three. Step four. Look. We aren’t even stepping on each other’s feet. Uh-oh.

Doodlebug: Ouch!

Me: Ow! Well, that didn’t last long.

Sweetie: See if MoonCat can do any better.

MoonCat: Ask a cat to march? Preposterous. Never heard of such a thing. Not gonna happen.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Stuck in a Rut – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Okay. Scheduled outdoor time. Let’s go.

Sweetie: Then what?

Me: Let’s see. Naptime for y’all. Then lunchtime for all of us. Then outside again. Then another nap probably. Then…

Doodlebug: So the same ole same ole. I heard a human say that. Funny!

Sweetie: We do the same day over and over and over again. Why aren’t we bored?

MoonCat: Breakfast, lunch, dinner, naps, snacks, shelter, long sleeps, playtime…If that’s boredom, I’m in. Keep it coming.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.