Chewing the Fat – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come you talked into your little hand box so long last night?

Doodlebug: Yeah, you talked and talked. I thought we would never enjoy silence again.

Me: I was chewing the fat with a friend of mine.

Sweetie: Chewing?

Doodlebug: Fat?

Sweetie: Where’s ours? I love fat chewing.

Me: That’s just an expression for talking…

Doodlebug: Another human expression that does not mean what it says.

Sweetie: Teasing us with the dream of chewing fat.

MoonCat: I don’t mind chewing the fat. Just make it short and lean.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

I Take That Back – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, when I told you to give my treats to the cat, you didn’t believe me, did you?

Me: But you said.

Sweetie: What’s that human word when somebody runs too quickly and slides into a garbage can?

Me: Hasty?

Sweetie: Well, that was me. I take it back.

Me: No problem. Treats were delayed. They’re not here yet anyway.

Sweetie: BUT THEY SAID!

Me: So did you.

Sweetie: But I crossed my paws.

MoonCat: I said bulldogs were dumb. I take that back. For the moment.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

That’s What They Said – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, the treats aren’t here.

Me: Nope. Not yet.

Sweetie: But they said they would be here!

Me: Yeah, that’s what they said.

Sweetie: But they’re not here and they said!

Doodlebug: I got my hopes all up. If they didn’t mean it, they shouldn’t have said it.

Sweetie: Nobody should say what they don’t mean! Fine! When the treats come, give mine to the cat.

MoonCat: That’s what I said.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Table Talk – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, why do humans sit by their empty bowls for so long?

Sweetie: Yeah. The food is gone and you all just sit and sit and sit…

Me: We like to talk around the table sometimes.

Sweetie: …and sit and sit…

Me: We did stay at the table quite a while, I’ll admit. People like to visit over meals.

Doodlebug: Aren’t you afraid someone will lick your empty bowl?

MoonCat: Unlike bulldogs, humans have better manners than that.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Confused Sky – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, it’s different today.

Me: Well, every day is, isn’t it?

Sweetie: Now the air is almost warm.

Doodlebug: Yeah, it was cold and then warm, and cold, and then warm. The sky is confused.

Sweetie: Yeah, pick something and stick with it.

MoonCat: The earth is not a restaurant and the sky is not a menu. Hey, Bulldogs, it’s not the sky that’s confused.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Foot Stompin’ Good Time – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Look, Lady Human! On the Big Picture Box! Lots of humans acting crazy. Like humans.

Me: No, they’re just dancing.

Doodlebug: It looks like they’re stomping on bugs. Must be a lot of bugs in that place.

Sweetie: They seem to be having a good time. Stomp those bugs! Stomp those bugs!

MoonCat: Nobody understands good foot stomping like a bulldog, unless it’s a bunch of humans stomping on bugs and calling it dancing.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Warm Up! Now! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, order a warmup! Now!

Me: What makes you think that’s an easy thing?

Sweetie: Humans order everything else.

Me: The weather is not like a pizza. It’s a lot more complicated than that.

Doodlebug: While you’re dealing with the cold, call in a double cheese thick crust.

MoonCat: Make mine anchovy. And hold the pizza.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Harebrained – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Of all the harebrained schemes I’ve ever heard of, this takes the cake!

Sweetie: Lady Human, you are upset. Hair-brained? You mean there’s hair in our brains? Yuck! Now I’m upset!

Me: No, ‘hare’ as in a jackrabbit. I don’t guess you’ve ever seen one. To call something ‘harebrained’ means it’s foolish.

Doodlebug: Did you mention cake? I heard you say ‘cake’. Is that the prize for being a jackrabbit? I’ll be harebrained then.

MoonCat: Is there a prize for ignoring harebrained comments?

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Not My Business – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: How come those humans down the road were so loud last night?

Me: I don’t know.

Sweetie: Aren’t you going to go sniff around and find out?

Me: Nope. Not my business.

Sweetie: Why not stick your nose in anyway?

Me: My nose sticks out way further than a bulldog’s. I don’t want it to get bitten off.

MoonCat: Truer words were never spoken.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog March – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Y’all sure are orderly today. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had learned to march in time.

Sweetie: Step one. Step two. Step three. Step four. Look. We aren’t even stepping on each other’s feet. Uh-oh.

Doodlebug: Ouch!

Me: Ow! Well, that didn’t last long.

Sweetie: See if MoonCat can do any better.

MoonCat: Ask a cat to march? Preposterous. Never heard of such a thing. Not gonna happen.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Stuck in a Rut – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Okay. Scheduled outdoor time. Let’s go.

Sweetie: Then what?

Me: Let’s see. Naptime for y’all. Then lunchtime for all of us. Then outside again. Then another nap probably. Then…

Doodlebug: So the same ole same ole. I heard a human say that. Funny!

Sweetie: We do the same day over and over and over again. Why aren’t we bored?

MoonCat: Breakfast, lunch, dinner, naps, snacks, shelter, long sleeps, playtime…If that’s boredom, I’m in. Keep it coming.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Leftovers – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, may I have the stinky leftover food you still have in the cold box from Big Food Day?

Doodlebug: Hey, share!

Me: We do not have any stinky leftovers in the refrigerator.

Sweetie: Then how come I can smell them?

Me: You’re scenting some strong spices we don’t often use.

Sweetie: Smells good enough to be garbage, in my humble bulldog opinion.

MoonCat: When was there ever an humble bulldog? Better safe than sorry though. Where are my noseplugs?

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Your Side of the Bed – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Hey, y’all, I need my bed back.

Sweetie: You’ve got a whole side all to yourself.

Doodlebug: Yeah, we don’t encroach.

Sweetie: Of course, we could share with someone else. MoonCat?

MoonCat: My bed only has one side. MINE!

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Tucked In – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Ahhh. Cozy.

Doodlebug: I could stay here in bed all day.

Me: You just about have. I’ve been up for hours. I’d like to have my bed back.

Sweerie: Your bed?

Doodlebug: That’s rather selfish.

MoonCat:  Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we invite bulldogs into our sleeping arrangements.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Sleepover – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Here we are with all our stuff, ready for the sleepover. It’s a party!

Me: Are we having a sleepover?

Sweetie: Yup, in your room. Boy, you have a lot of cool stuff in here to chew on, Lady Human.

Me: Nope, that is not what a sleepover entails.

Doodlebug: You should have made that clear in your invitation.

Sweetie: That’s okay. We brought enough of our own stuff for chewing.

MoonCat: I’ll pass up on this event and keep my long, beautiful tail out of the reach of bulldog party goers.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Just Visiting – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Hello, Lady Human!

Me: What are y’all doing on my bed?

Doodlebug: Is this your bed?

Sweetie: We’re just visiting.

Me: You’ve never wanted to be up there before.

Sweetie: We wanted to see what the world looks like from way up here. It’s really comfy. I think we will stay. Hey, MoonCat, want to share?

MoonCat: I prefer my single bed to stay bulldog-free, thank you.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Where’s Mine? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Okay. I’ve been patient long enough. Where is it?

Me: Where’s what?

Sweetie: I saw you take that delivery at the door, ma’am. Then you squirreled the whole thing away. Where’s mine?

Doodlebug: And don’t forget me.

Me: That batch only had human supplies in it.

MoonCat: Did I just now hear the sound of a can opener and catch a whiff of tuna on the air?

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Pecking Order – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, that boy chicken is about to get my goat.

Me: The rooster. Boy chickens are called roosters. I named him Roo-roo.

Sweetie: If he keeps pecking at me, you can name him Pancake as in “flat as a”!

Doodlebug: A rooster pancake. Hmmm.

MoonCat: Hmmm. Pancake the Rooster or a rooster pancake. Nope, not on my agenda.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

We Are Here to Help – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, we noticed that you have your hands full.

Doodlebug: We are here to offer our services.

Me: I don’t know exactly how you can help. I have to move all these leftovers into the freezer…oh, I see.

Sweetie: I am trained and ready for just such a job.

MoonCat: I’ll stay right here, quietly waiting until you get to my favorites when I will happily pitch in to help.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.