I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What are you laughing at, Lady Human? And Sweetie, how come you’re laughing, too? I’m serious. I’m not funny.
Me: Your head. A flower drifted down from a tree and it’s sitting on your head like a tiny hat.
Sweetie: You look goofy.
Doodlebug: Get it off! I can’t look goofy! I’m the king!
Me: It’s just a flower.
Doodlebug: No one will take me seriously.
Sweetie: Too late. No one ever has.
Me: It’s alright. It just blew away.
Doodlebug: Good. No tree should put a hat on me anyway. Now I’m normal.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: What’s with all the grumble faces?
Sweetie: Are you calling us ugly?
Me: By no means, but you do look a little serious.
Sweetie: Doodlebug! Maybe now is the time to present her with all our complaints…uh… requests.
MoonCat: Grumble faces? That must be a human and dog problem. I always wear the same face. That way no one can tell what I’m thinking. Keep ’em guessing.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Fess up, Lady Human! What did you do today?
Me: Do? I made some macaroni salad and washed your bedding and…
Sweetie: She’s pretending she doesn’t know. What did you do…TO THE SUN?
Me: Oh, that! I didn’t have anything to do with that. That was a total eclipse. Completely out of my control.
Doodlebug: I suppose you’re going to say that the Great Creator took the sun away and made the sky go dark.
Sweetie: When it wasn’t supposed to! Right when I had scheduled my sunbath!
Me: Well, as a matter of fact…
Doodlebug: I’ve heard enough! Humans! Always blaming someone else for the problems they cause.
MoonCat: I don’t understand what all the fuss is about. Your silly sun is back. Besides, darkness is a much more enjoyable time of day. So many places to sneak around and hide in.
Sweetie: Just trying new things. Look how well I fit in here.
Me: No, you don’t. We’ve talked about this before. There isn’t enough room for you to squeeze your head between that heavy chair and that table. There just isn’t.
Sweetie: Are you calling me fat?
Me: No, I’m calling you what you are. A big-boned bulldog of the English variety, and you can’t fit in any ole tight space you choose.
Sweetie: Watch me! Mmmm…hmmph!
Me: See what I mean?
Sweetie: But if I try hard enough, I should be able to fit anywhere!
Me: Not if it’s physically impossible. And why would you even want to?
Sweetie: It’s a bulldog thing. I’ll just keep trying.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What are you dancing for, Sweetie?
Sweetie: Lady Human finally figured it out, the reason for my discontent. Yay!
Doodlebug: Oh, I knew that! You got your sleep blanket all wet. That’s what happens when you keep dipping it in your water bowl and then wipe your big wet face on it.
MoonCat: Sorry to have to say it out loud, but DUH!
Sweetie: But she’s fixed it now with a dry one and I forgive her. She’s a human after all and they can’t help being a little slow on the uptake.
Bulldoggy 