Ew! I’m Not Walking Through That! – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Someone (possibly Lady Human) has messed up my only walkway to the backyard. My feet are special and I will not risk them by walking through the wetness. Nasty! Lady Human and the others must stop using the backyard as a toilet.

Me:        Excuse me?

Stella:    Sorry, Lady Human. Not this time.

Me:        I’ll have you know that I do not go to the bathroom in the yard! Or anywhere outside! I am a human and our toilets are inside the house.

Stella:    A thing that I have never understood. How unfair! Indoor toilets should be available to all.

Me:        I have a pretty good imagination, but I have a hard time imagining a bulldog using a human toilet. Not saying impossible. Just saying unlikely and slightly dangerous.

Stella:    But the mess! Someone peed on my walkway! I don’t care who did it (though I still doubt your denial). Yuck! I am not walking through that.

Me:        I am hosing it off.

Stella:    All that does is spread it around. Ewww. You expect me to get my tootsies wet with pee water?

Me:        It’s not pee water, Stella. Look, do you want to go out by the driveway – your rainy-day spot?

Stella:    Yes, yes, yes!

Me:        All right. But I’m telling you that I just hosed off all the nasty stuff.

Stella:    My nose tells me different. I’ve told you before. Millions of nasal receptors cannot be wrong.





Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.



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