Me: With me once again is Stella, the Olde English Bulldogge.
Stella: Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges
Me: So called.
Me: You had a question about what the humans have been doing this week.
Stella: Why have the humans been talking so much in the yards this week? You and Tall Man and the neighbors?
Me: You noticed that?
Stella: Next Door Man’s dogs stayed all stirred up, barking the only way they ever do – loud and obnoxious. I think that they are not very smart. They repeat themselves a lot. I peeked through the fence while I was in the yard. You humans were talking and talking and did not seem very happy.
Me: We were talking about politics. A big vote is coming up next fall.
Stella: Mmmmm. When the air is cooler. Because you can’t vote when the weather is hot. That makes good sense. Hot humans don’t know what they are doing.
Me: I don’t think the heat has much to do with that.
Stella: I remember what you said about voting. I still don’t like it. I think voting is a dumb idea that humans made up so they can meet in yards and talk too much and too loud, like Next Door Man’s dogs do. Then the humans get hot and do other dumb things like cooking delicious meat outside and dropping it on the ground and throwing it away instead of giving it to me.
Me: That was an accident. Tall Man felt badly about that, but the meat was too dirty to give to you or the others.
Stella: No dropped meat is ever too dirty. That’s what tongues are for.
Stella: So the humans don’t like voting either.
Me: We don’t like some of the choices.
Stella: So vote for yourself.
Me: It takes more than one vote normally.
Stella: I am the Queen. I can change that.
Me: Nope. It’s a human thing. And I haven’t noticed you changing any bulldog things around here, Your Highness.
Stella: Finally! Some respect! Bulldogs! Vote for me and you will see things change.
Me: Like what?
Stella: Long naps every afternoon.
Me: You all already do that.
Stella: Double food portions.
Me: So you can get fat.
Stella: No more nail trimming for us.
Me: Bad plan in the long term.
Stella: VOTE FOR ME! LIFE WILL BE GREAT!
Me: That’s what they all say.
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.