I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What are you laughing at, Lady Human? And Sweetie, how come you’re laughing, too? I’m serious. I’m not funny.
Me: Your head. A flower drifted down from a tree and it’s sitting on your head like a tiny hat.
Sweetie: You look goofy.
Doodlebug: Get it off! I can’t look goofy! I’m the king!
Me: It’s just a flower.
Doodlebug: No one will take me seriously.
Sweetie: Too late. No one ever has.
Me: It’s alright. It just blew away.
Doodlebug: Good. No tree should put a hat on me anyway. Now I’m normal.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: What’s with all the grumble faces?
Sweetie: Are you calling us ugly?
Me: By no means, but you do look a little serious.
Sweetie: Doodlebug! Maybe now is the time to present her with all our complaints…uh… requests.
MoonCat: Grumble faces? That must be a human and dog problem. I always wear the same face. That way no one can tell what I’m thinking. Keep ’em guessing.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Fess up, Lady Human! What did you do today?
Me: Do? I made some macaroni salad and washed your bedding and…
Sweetie: She’s pretending she doesn’t know. What did you do…TO THE SUN?
Me: Oh, that! I didn’t have anything to do with that. That was a total eclipse. Completely out of my control.
Doodlebug: I suppose you’re going to say that the Great Creator took the sun away and made the sky go dark.
Sweetie: When it wasn’t supposed to! Right when I had scheduled my sunbath!
Me: Well, as a matter of fact…
Doodlebug: I’ve heard enough! Humans! Always blaming someone else for the problems they cause.
MoonCat: I don’t understand what all the fuss is about. Your silly sun is back. Besides, darkness is a much more enjoyable time of day. So many places to sneak around and hide in.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What are you dancing for, Sweetie?
Sweetie: Lady Human finally figured it out, the reason for my discontent. Yay!
Doodlebug: Oh, I knew that! You got your sleep blanket all wet. That’s what happens when you keep dipping it in your water bowl and then wipe your big wet face on it.
MoonCat: Sorry to have to say it out loud, but DUH!
Sweetie: But she’s fixed it now with a dry one and I forgive her. She’s a human after all and they can’t help being a little slow on the uptake.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Thank you, Lady Human, for making my special man cave. It is so warm and cozy, covered with soft blankets.
Sweetie: Oh, is that what stinks?
Doodlebug: It smells like me. Regal and masculine.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. This is not about the Big Blue Chair again, is it?
Sweetie: Everything is about the Big Blue Chair. Unless it’s about something else that I want.
Me: Look. The chair is mine. I don’t mind letting you use it when I’m elsewhere, but we can’t both fit in it at the same time.
Doodlebug: No problem. It’s too tall anyway.
MoonCat: No argument here. It smells like bulldog anyway.
Sweetie: I don’t mind sharing MY chair with you, Lady Human, but you’re going to have to shrink your bottom some to accommodate both of us and I have always first dibs.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Let me say at the outset that I never do anything wrong, but if I ever did, I would do it without holding back. Just like Sweetie is doing to Lady Human’s big blue chair.
Me: What? Oh, Sweetie! No!
Sweetie: Hmmm?
Me: The arm of my chair is soaked with your mouth drool! How long have you been licking there? It couldn’t be wetter if someone poured water on it.
Sweetie: Thank you for noticing, Lady Human. Whatever I do, it’s 110% or nothing. No halfway for me.
Doodlebug: And I think with that said, I’m going to take a nap.
Bulldoggy 