I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, if you have a nose, use it.
Me: Sound advice.
Doodlebug: Don’t overuse it.
Me: Where do you draw the line?
MoonCat: I draw the line at taking advice from bulldogs.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: How come those humans down the road were so loud last night?
Me: I don’t know.
Sweetie: Aren’t you going to go sniff around and find out?
Me: Nope. Not my business.
Sweetie: Why not stick your nose in anyway?
Me: My nose sticks out way further than a bulldog’s. I don’t want it to get bitten off.
MoonCat: Truer words were never spoken.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Y’all sure are orderly today. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had learned to march in time.
Sweetie: Step one. Step two. Step three. Step four. Look. We aren’t even stepping on each other’s feet. Uh-oh.
Doodlebug: Ouch!
Me: Ow! Well, that didn’t last long.
Sweetie: See if MoonCat can do any better.
MoonCat: Ask a cat to march? Preposterous. Never heard of such a thing. Not gonna happen.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Okay. Scheduled outdoor time. Let’s go.
Sweetie: Then what?
Me: Let’s see. Naptime for y’all. Then lunchtime for all of us. Then outside again. Then another nap probably. Then…
Doodlebug: So the same ole same ole. I heard a human say that. Funny!
Sweetie: We do the same day over and over and over again. Why aren’t we bored?
MoonCat: Breakfast, lunch, dinner, naps, snacks, shelter, long sleeps, playtime…If that’s boredom, I’m in. Keep it coming.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, may I have the stinky leftover food you still have in the cold box from Big Food Day?
Doodlebug: Hey, share!
Me: We do not have any stinky leftovers in the refrigerator.
Sweetie: Then how come I can smell them?
Me: You’re scenting some strong spices we don’t often use.
Sweetie: Smells good enough to be garbage, in my humble bulldog opinion.
MoonCat: When was there ever an humble bulldog? Better safe than sorry though. Where are my noseplugs?
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
‘Tromping over and over on the same ground will get your feet muddy.”
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Hey, y’all, I need my bed back.
Sweetie: You’ve got a whole side all to yourself.
Doodlebug: Yeah, we don’t encroach.
Sweetie: Of course, we could share with someone else. MoonCat?
MoonCat: My bed only has one side. MINE!
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Ahhh. Cozy.
Doodlebug: I could stay here in bed all day.
Me: You just about have. I’ve been up for hours. I’d like to have my bed back.
Sweerie: Your bed?
Doodlebug: That’s rather selfish.
MoonCat: Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we invite bulldogs into our sleeping arrangements.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Here we are with all our stuff, ready for the sleepover. It’s a party!
Me: Are we having a sleepover?
Sweetie: Yup, in your room. Boy, you have a lot of cool stuff in here to chew on, Lady Human.
Me: Nope, that is not what a sleepover entails.
Doodlebug: You should have made that clear in your invitation.
Sweetie: That’s okay. We brought enough of our own stuff for chewing.
MoonCat: I’ll pass up on this event and keep my long, beautiful tail out of the reach of bulldog party goers.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Hello, Lady Human!
Me: What are y’all doing on my bed?
Doodlebug: Is this your bed?
Sweetie: We’re just visiting.
Me: You’ve never wanted to be up there before.
Sweetie: We wanted to see what the world looks like from way up here. It’s really comfy. I think we will stay. Hey, MoonCat, want to share?
MoonCat: I prefer my single bed to stay bulldog-free, thank you.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Okay. I’ve been patient long enough. Where is it?
Me: Where’s what?
Sweetie: I saw you take that delivery at the door, ma’am. Then you squirreled the whole thing away. Where’s mine?
Doodlebug: And don’t forget me.
Me: That batch only had human supplies in it.
MoonCat: Did I just now hear the sound of a can opener and catch a whiff of tuna on the air?
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, that boy chicken is about to get my goat.
Me: The rooster. Boy chickens are called roosters. I named him Roo-roo.
Sweetie: If he keeps pecking at me, you can name him Pancake as in “flat as a”!
Doodlebug: A rooster pancake. Hmmm.
MoonCat: Hmmm. Pancake the Rooster or a rooster pancake. Nope, not on my agenda.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
“Think before you step. It could be a trap.”
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, we noticed that you have your hands full.
Doodlebug: We are here to offer our services.
Me: I don’t know exactly how you can help. I have to move all these leftovers into the freezer…oh, I see.
Sweetie: I am trained and ready for just such a job.
MoonCat: I’ll stay right here, quietly waiting until you get to my favorites when I will happily pitch in to help.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Hey, Doodle, you took my blanket! My favorite one! The one that’s just for me!
Doodlebug: No, I did not! The blankets are for everybody! Stop being so selfish!
Sweetie: You did! You! You! You!
Doodlebug: No, you’re wrong! You! You! You!
Me: Everybody put your paws down!
MoonCat: This sort of behavior always happens when the humans have turkey for dinner. It must be contagious. Happy Day after Thanksgiving.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Happy Thanksgiving, y’all. Say something you thank the Great Creator for.
Sweetie: I don’t know.
Me: Well, think about it.
Baby and Bud: Tweet. Thanks for warm.
Doodlebug: Thanks for tons and tons of food.
Me: Sounds about right. Sweetie?
Sweetie: Thanks that I am a bulldog and not something else like a poodle…
Me: I like poodles. I’ve known some.
Sweetie: …or a human.
Me: Yeah. I’ve known some of them, too.
MoonCat: Don’t feel badly, Lady Human. I’m thankful for humans. They know how to put tuna in a can.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. This is a special day.
Me: Yes. It is. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day.
Sweetie: Doodlebug means the house air smells good today. That’s not always true.
Me: How well I know.
Sweetie: Hey, humans have their stinky moments, too, Lady Human.
Me: How well I know.
Sweetie: But today is a special smell good day. Can’t every day smell this good?
MoonCat: We would have to have some major cooperation from…well, we all know.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, those long sticks look yucky. Throw them away.
Me: First off, since when does a bulldog think anything looks yucky. Secondly, these carrots can be made into a soup or baked in a casserole, so no, I will not waste them.
Doodlebug: But they’re all limp and saggy and smooshy and…yellowy brown.
Me: But they’re not bad. Waste not, want not.
MoonCat: I definitely “want not”.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: How come humans think they are all that AND a bag of bar-b-que potato chips?
Doodlebug: Yeah, Lady Human, because, from where I sit, y’all are two legs shy of a full load.
MoonCat: Opinion. Opinionated. Opinionation. The very definition of “Bulldog”. In my humble opinion.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
“Even when the earth shakes, keep your feet. The more feet, the better.”
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 