How to Win a Bulldog Argument – Conversations with Doodlebug and Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Hey, Lady Human, that’s my cushion and it goes over there.

Me: I have to move it against the wall so I won’t trip over it.

Sweetie: I don’t trip over it. Why should you?

Doodlebug: Hey, ma’am, those are my comfy blankets. Bring ’em here!

Me: After they’ve been washed and dried, you can have them back.

Sweetie: I don’t think she knows who’s in charge.

Doodlebug: She seems confused.

Me: I am in charge! Me! And I don’t give up.

Sweetie: Hey, Doodle, she hasn’t been paying attention, has she?

Doodlebug: We’ll wait until she leaves the room.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Grilling Days – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What is that wonderful aroma floating on the air? Wait! I know!

Sweetie: No! I know it first! It’s meat cooking outside. It’s a grilling day! And about time, too!

Me: Well, someone is grilling, but it’s not us.

Sweetie: Whatever do you mean, Lady Human? Why in the world not?

Me: Barbecue grilling isn’t the only grilling going on outside today. Or didn’t you notice the heat?

MoonCat: Just keep the icy air box going, ma’am, and bring on the nice cold tunafish.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Forward! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Those strange humans are back on our street, Lady Human!

Sweetie: Yeah, listen to all that noise! Let’s go!

Doodlebug: Yeah, let’s go chase ’em off!

Sweetie: BULLDOG CHARGE!

Me: Hold on just a second! Those are the trash collector people. The noise is from their big trucks. You don’t want to chase them off!

Sweetie: Who told them they could come snatch our trash away?

Doodlebug: Yeah! We may need that stuff someday…sometime…maybe.

Sweetie: If it doesn’t smell too bad. Save the garbage!

MoonCat: I think I’ll just find a nice out of the way spot where no one will see me. Best way to avoid nonsense.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Let an Expert Take Charge! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Something must be done and I am just the one to do it!

Me: Do what?

Doodlebug: It better not involve my food.

Me: Just what are you going to do, Sweetie?

Sweetie: You’ll know it when you see it.

Me: I still don’t understand…

Sweetie: Stand aside, please. Coming through.

MoonCat: Once again, welcome to the inexplicable world of bulldogges.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Head Rest – Conversations with Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

Me: Sweetie, what are you doing?

Sweetie: Just stay seated where you are, Lady Human.

Me: You’re nudging my leg over.

Sweetie: Yes, it’s almost perfect. There. The perfect head rest. Just the way I like it.

Me: You might want to ask me first next time. There are things I need to get up to do.

Sweetie: Never you mind about all that, ma’am. Being my head rest is the only job you have for now.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Grumble Dogs – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Errrrrr…

Sweetie: Errrrrr yourself! My errrrrr is better than your errrrrr. You just sound like wah, wah, wah…

Doodlebug: Says who?

Sweetie: Says ME, that’s WHO!

Me: What’s all the noise about?

MoonCat: Nothing important enough to wake me from my nap, that’s what!

Sweetie: Where’s my snack? And where has the sun gone? How can I sunbathe without a sun to bathe in?

Doodlebug: And when it going to stop raining? Stupid sky!

Me: Anything else y’all want to complain about? No, forget I said that.

Sweetie: As a matter of fact…

Doodlebug: Don’t get me started.

Me: Too late for that apparently.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Parakeet Dictionary – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I’m confused.

MoonCat: Is that new and unusual?

Me: What’s the confusion?

Sweetie: Those chattering birds.

Me: The parakeets.

Sweetie: Whatever. I need a word book to understand them.

Me: Like a dictionary?

Doodlebug: Like a “this means this” and “that means that” book, because they make no sense at all and they only talk birdy talk all the time.

MoonCat: Excuse me, please, while I spend my day in a worthwhile pursuit – naptime.

Doodlebug: Start pencil scratching, Lady Human. First word: “Ack”. Always said in a loud voice.

Me: Well, I’m not sure, but it seems to mean they’re excited.

Sweetie: ACK!

Me: Oh, that’s way loud!

Sweetie: I’m bulldog excited! Okay, keep writing! Next word…

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Who Is Throwing Ice Cubes? – Conversations with Doodlebug and Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. The sky is screaming again, Lady Human.

Me: Stay calm and stay inside, y’all. That’s just the storm siren.

Sweetie: Just? Just?

Me: We’re alright.

Sweetie: The sky is throwing ice cubes at us! Is that alright? What is it trying to do? Make iced tea?

Me: That’s hail. It’s one reason we have a roof and walls.

Doodlebug: What are the other reasons? What else is the sky plotting to chunk at us?

Sweetie: I am going to write a strongly worded letter to the humans in charge of weather. Whoever that is, they are not doing a good job!

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Everything Not Nailed Down – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: The wind, Lady Human! The wind.

Me: Yeah, when I was a kid, we used to say that winds like this were likely to carry off anything not nailed down.

Doodlebug: It’s about to carry me off! Nail me down!

Bud: Nail. Nail.

Me: Don’t worry. Y’all are safe inside.

MoonCat: Good. Fussing time is naptime for me. Good night.

Sweetie:  Nail me down, Lady Human, so I don’t blow away! I’m not that chubby! Really I’m not!

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Sweater Weather – Again – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Hey, y’all. It’s still pretty chilly. Here, Sweetie, try on this sweater I crocheted. Doodle, I have some more sweaters you can try…

Doodlebug: Nope.

Me: Well, go ahead and try this one, Sweetie.

Sweetie: Nope.

Me: It’s plenty big and nice and warm…

Sweetie: Nope.

Me: Okay, Doodlebug. You go ahead and…

Doodlebug: Noooooo.

Me: Come on, y’all.

Sweetie: Let me spell this like the humans do. NO!

Me: In that case, MoonCat…

MoonCat: Don’t even look in my direction.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Earth under Our Feet – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Look! Look! See!

Me: See what? Where?

Sweetie: The ground! It’s back! Right where it belongs.

Me: You mean the snow is pretty much gone.

Sweetie: And the earth has returned.

MoonCat: Oh my! Bulldogs. I give up.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Cold, White, Wet, and Weird! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human! Help! It is awful! And cold! And white! And wet! And weird! And it’s falling from the sky!

Me: It’s snow.

Doodlebug: Why?

Me: Conditions just got right and there it is. Snow.

Sweetie: Make it stop.

Me: It’ll do that soon enough on it’s own.

Sweetie: NO! NOW!

MoonCat: Calm down, silly bully. Do what sane animals like cats do. Take a nap.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

COLD! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: You look disgruntled, boy.

Doodlebug: If disgruntled is the human word for COLD, then I am DISGRUNTLED!

Sweetie: It’s just another case of the humans not managing things very well.

MoonCat: Oh, dogs, dogs, dogs. Get snuggled down in your blankets and cushions. Tuck your chunky bulldog paws under you. Then bury your gigantic noses in a pillow. Simply compensate for human mismanagement

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

It’s Rude to Stare – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Don’t look now, but the beady eyed birds are staring.

Doodlebug: At what?

Sweetie: I said don’t look!

Me: Why are you all agitated?

Doodlebug: Sweetie thinks the little budgies are staring at us.

Me: Well, apparently they are.

Sweetie: They’re invading our space with their eyeballs.

MoonCat: I don’t mind. When someone stares at me, it just means that they’re admitting the truth. I’m good to look at.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Thinking – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: How come you’re so quiet, Lady Human?

Me: I’m just thinking.

Doodlebug: Uh-oh.

MoonCat: A human thinking. Never a good thing. Hide!

Me: No, nothing bad. It’s just another holiday. New Year’s.

Sweetie: Where is its tree?

Me: New Year’s doesn’t get its own tree.

Doodlebug: Poor New Year’s. What does it get?

Me: Some people party. Some people cook a bunch of food. Some people shoot off fireworks. And some people like me are just quiet and think a lot. About the past. About the future.

Sweetie: About the food? Where are those food people? Let’s go New Year with them!

Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.