I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, intruder alert!
Me: Oh, no. What now?
Sweetie: The cat has moved into my sleeping space!
MoonCat: It was unoccupied, so I took advantage of the vacancy.
Me: Well, Sweetie, you were sleeping on your special pad, so…
Sweetie: So she just parks herself wherever, whenever? How disorderly! How…catlike!
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Stop looking at me!
Sweetie: I’m not looking at you. Do you think you’re that good-looking? How conceited!
Doodlebug: I’m not conceited! You are!
Sweetie: No, you are!
Doodlebug: No, you are!
MoonCat: Meow. No, you both are!
Me: What in the world is going on? I’ve never heard so much noise.
Doodlebug: It’s their fault. They won’t stop talking.
Sweetie: No, Doodle started it. He thinks he’s the king.
Doodlebug: I am the King.
MoonCat: You’re not the king of me!
Me: Cut it out, y’all! What a bunch of fussing over nothing. Next you’ll be fussing at me.
Sweetie: Patience, Lady Human! Wait your turn! We’ll get around to you!
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Good breakfast, Lady Human! Another, please.
Sweetie: Same here, please.
MoonCat: Meow. For once, and for this one time only, mind you, I agree with the bulldogges. Keep it coming.
Me: Uh, how about ‘no’? You all ate just a very short time ago. We do not eat all day long.
Doodlebug: What do you mean ‘we do not’? I do.
Sweetie: So do you, Lady Human. I’ve seen how many times you go to that cold air box and pull out stuff that you shove into your mouth.
MoonCat: Meow. Yep. Come on. Fair is fair.
Sweetie: We’ll make it easy for you. Just set it out…
Doodlebug: In three bowls. No sharing!
MoonCat: Meow. We’ll handle the timing on our own.
Doodlebug: Now that those details are settled, I hereby declare the All-Day Breakfast Club to be permanently in session.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Oh, no, not again.
MoonCat: Meow! What’s the holdup?
Me: What is going on?
MoonCat: The Great Big Light is awake in the sky. Food time!
Sweetie: Ugghhh! If I can wait, you can wait. And I can wait.
Me: Yes, so can I. Is there any way we can reset the breakfast alarm to something a little later than dawn?
Doodlebug: Since I have adjusted my schedule to a late breakfast, I agree. I hereby issue a royal command. No breakfast alarm until…
MoonCat: …the cat says so. Done and done.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Out of the way! Coming through!
Doodlebug: You call that “coming through”? Let me show you!
Sweetie: Hey, I move at my own pace.
MoonCat: Meow. Is that pace called ‘creep along’?
Sweetie: Do I look like a creeper?
Me: No, I think your style is more trundler.
Sweetie: Aw, Lady Human, just like you.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Whoa! Hold up there, Sweetie! What are you doing with my bowl?
Sweetie: I’m just checking to make sure you aren’t wasting any food. Nope. Looks like you licked it clean. Too bad.
Doodlebug: Everyone keep their noses and mouths in their own bowls. That is a royal order.
MoonCat: Meow. My nose pretty much has to go where my mouth does. Now with your big ole bulldog faces, you all may be able to eat out of more than one bowl at the same time.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Sweetie: What is that clunky sound when I walk?
Me: Uh, don’t you know?
Sweetie: Why would I ask or look confused if I knew?
Me: You are wearing your empty metal food bowl on your foot like a shoe, which it is not.
Sweetie: You wear things on your feet.
Me: I wear shoes that are meant to be worn on my feet.
Sweetue: Well, my food bowl is meant to have food in it which it does not. Hint. Hint.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: And I am tired.
Me: How come?
Sweetie: Chattering chickens. They never stop talking and they say nothing.
MoonCat: Like some others I could name.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: All right. Go ahead and tell me. What are you all whispering about?
Sweetie: Not a thing.
Doodlebug: What whispering?
MoonCat: They are planning to take away the mop the next time Tall Man pulls it out.
Doodlebug: Treason!
Sweetie: Turncoat!
Mooncat: I am not a bulldog as you are so quick to remind me. Therefore, Doodlebug is not my king and no treason is involved. End of discussion!
Me: So what was your plan? Emphasis on the was.
Doodlebug: A good leader never divulges battle plans against mops and brooms.
Sweetie: Especially when the plans are stupid and not likely to work.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, something strange has happened to my bed…again. Someone sneaked a new pad in while I was minding my own business outside.
Me: I did that. Sweetie has a new one, too. And MoonCat. I figured a little extra padding is never a bad thing, especially with winter on its way. Look! Sweetie and MoonCat are already snoring on theirs.
Doodlebug: So you think it is okay if I touch mine? I mean, I still have the old one. I found out that it wouldn’t swallow my feet.
Me: This one won’t either.
Doodlebug: Are you sure?
Me: Yep. Just chalk it up to human intuition. You’ll be fine.
Doodlebug: Based on y’all’s track record, I don’t chalk much good up to human intuition at all.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 