Cloud Sitting – Conversations with Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Sweetie and I am patient.

Me: Patient for what? What are you waiting for?

Sweetie: Rain.

Me: Then you’re going to have a long wait. Come on back inside.

Sweetie: Nope. I am sitting under a cloud. That means rain.

Me: There is no cloud, Sweetie.

Sweetie: Yes, there is. See! It’s blocking the sun.

Me: That’s not a cloud. That’s an awning that Tall Man put up so we could sit out here a little.

Sweetie: Cloud. Awning. Same difference.

Me: Not really. An awning will never rain.

Sweetie: Then Tall Man will just have to try harder. I know! He can put the water tube on the fake cloud and I can turn the nob that lets the water out, just like I used to do to fill my puppy pool.

Me: NO!!! I mean…leave the nob turning to the humans.

Sweetie: But I know how. It’s not hard. I just put my mouth over it like…

Me: That’s all right. Let’s go in now.

Sweetie: Well, okay, but it’s no problem. Any time you want a fake rain cloud, just let me know.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Foot Cleaning Social Hour – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Mmmm. Do you clean your feet like this?

Me: By licking them? Certainly not!

Sweetie: Lady Human, I was talking to MoonCat. She has way more feet than you. I don’t expect humans to know how to do things the proper way.

MoonCat: Meow. Your feet are bigger than mine, bulldog. I clean mine from the tops and sides first, but never before eating.

Doodlebug: Only after dinner then.

MoonCat: Yes, King Bulldog. Licking my feet before eating would be vulgar.

Me: Yeah, I can see that. All that loose hair and cat litter and stuff.

MoonCat: Clean your human feet as you wish to, ma’am, and we will clean ours in our own way.

Sweetie: Humans don’t understand the pressure of taking care of more than two feet at a time, MoonCat.

MoonCat: It is a lot of work, but it gives us so much more to talk about during social hour.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Foot Bath – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human! She’s done it again!

Me: Who’s done what again? Oh, Sweetie! Your water bowl!

Sweetie: What’s wrong?

Me: Your water bowl is muddy and almost empty. Again.

Sweetie: My toesies were hot and my water bowl was just sitting there, doing nothing, so I gave myself a foot bath.

MoonCat: I give myself foot baths all the time, but I’m smart. I use my tongue.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Shake Out the Cobwebs – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Time to stretch our legs.

MoonCat: Meow. My legs are already stretched, thank you. Count me out.

Sweetie: Huh? What?

Me: Wake up, girl. Time to eat and drink and walk around.

Sweetie: Oh. That stuff. Okay. Everybody stand back. SHAKE IT OUT! Woo!

Me: You always do that full body shake every time you wake up. It must feel good.

Sweetie: It shakes out the cobwebs any sneaky spiders might have strung on me while I was sleeping. Everything works better then. You should try it, Lady Human. You might work better then, too.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Summertime Dining – Conversations with Sweetie and Doodlebug

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Where is supper being served?

Me: On the patio.

Sweetie: No, thank you. I’ll have mine inside if you don’t mind. Or even if you do.

Me: You used to eat on the patio all the time. I’ve noticed you ignore your food out there lately.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you don’t eat outside. How come?

Me: Well…

Sweetie: I’ll tell you how come.

Doodlebug: Oh boy, here we go.

Sweetie: It’s nasty outside in the hot. And those pesky flying pesks…

Me: Flies.

Sweetie: If you say so…those critters want to put their dirty little feet on my food. So I’ll have mine inside, thank you.

Me: How about you, Doodle?

Doodlebug: Food is food, hot weather or cold. I say, bring it on! I haven’t let a pesky fly carry off a single bite of my food yet. Not about to start now. Let’s eat!

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Sunsitting – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Why won’t Sweetie come inside? It’s hot.

Me: I know. I’m going to make her come in now.

MoonCat: Meow. I never go outside. It’s always too hot or too cold. Even when it’s just right.

Me: Sweetie, you have to come inside now.

Sweetie: I can’t. I’m sunsitting.

Me: You mean sunbathing.

Sweetie: No, sunsitting. I am taking care of the sun. Like when humans take care of little humans.

Me: I think the sun will be alright without you. It’s been there for a long, long time.

Sweetie: But the sun is lonely. It’s up there all by itself.

Me: Mmmm…it may seem that way, but it’s really not.

Sweetie: It needs me. Wait. Okay. I’m too hot now. Shame on you, Sun. No more sunsitting with you. I’m going inside. Oh, but I’ll see you tomorrow, same time, same place.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Too Much Talk – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Sweetie is giving a speech. Again.

Sweetie: Hear ye! Hear ye!

Doodlebug: What does that mean?

Sweetie: I don’t know. I heard it on the humans’ Picture Box.

MoonCat: It doesn’t matter. I’ve already stopped listening.

Sweetie: I am going to exercise my mouth until it gets tired. And I do not tire easily. I am a bulldog.

Me: So you are just going to keep barking for no reason until you decide to stop. Is that it?

Sweetie: And why not? Humans do it all the time. You all complain about dogs barking, but you never shut your own mouths.

Me: Well, I have something to say about that.

Doodlebug: Of course, you do.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Set in Our Ways – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What is that you are doing, Lady Human? What is in your hand?

Me: Well, it’s your food bowl.

Doodlebug: It’s not my food bowl. My food bowl is always over there, ready when I want it.

Sweetie: Yeah, what are you trying to do, ma’am? Confuse us? Leave well enough alone.

Me: His food bowl comes close to getting spilled every time I walk through here.

Doodlebug: Then don’t walk through here. Walk through there.

MoonCat: Meow. Don’t move my food bowl. How will I find it in the dark?

Me: Uh, the same way you find everything else in the dark?

MoonCat: Hmmm. Questionable.

Sweetie: We are set in our ways. If it ain’t fixed, don’t break it.

Me: I think you mean “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”.

Sweetie: That’s what I said.

Doodlebug: We like the way we have things set up. If you go changing the setup, no telling what might happen.

Sweetie: Yeah, Lady Human, we might go changing your set ways. Then where might your food bowl end up.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.