Step Back! – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Do you see where I am standing?

Sweetie: I see. I just don’t care. My feet belong where they are. Everybody else, take your feet away! Lady Human, back me up here.

Me: I’m just trying to move from Point A to Point B without tripping. I’ve got no dog in this fight.

Doodlebug: Uh, excuse me, ma’am, but you have two dogs in this fight. Clear passageways are important.

MoonCat: Bulldogs never know what’s really important. My cushion. My bowls. My places. MeI’m important. I thought everybody knew that by now.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Grilling Days – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What is that wonderful aroma floating on the air? Wait! I know!

Sweetie: No! I know it first! It’s meat cooking outside. It’s a grilling day! And about time, too!

Me: Well, someone is grilling, but it’s not us.

Sweetie: Whatever do you mean, Lady Human? Why in the world not?

Me: Barbecue grilling isn’t the only grilling going on outside today. Or didn’t you notice the heat?

MoonCat: Just keep the icy air box going, ma’am, and bring on the nice cold tunafish.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Forward! – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Those strange humans are back on our street, Lady Human!

Sweetie: Yeah, listen to all that noise! Let’s go!

Doodlebug: Yeah, let’s go chase ’em off!

Sweetie: BULLDOG CHARGE!

Me: Hold on just a second! Those are the trash collector people. The noise is from their big trucks. You don’t want to chase them off!

Sweetie: Who told them they could come snatch our trash away?

Doodlebug: Yeah! We may need that stuff someday…sometime…maybe.

Sweetie: If it doesn’t smell too bad. Save the garbage!

MoonCat: I think I’ll just find a nice out of the way spot where no one will see me. Best way to avoid nonsense.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Let an Expert Take Charge! – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Something must be done and I am just the one to do it!

Me: Do what?

Doodlebug: It better not involve my food.

Me: Just what are you going to do, Sweetie?

Sweetie: You’ll know it when you see it.

Me: I still don’t understand…

Sweetie: Stand aside, please. Coming through.

MoonCat: Once again, welcome to the inexplicable world of bulldogges.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Grumble Dogs – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Errrrrr…

Sweetie: Errrrrr yourself! My errrrrr is better than your errrrrr. You just sound like wah, wah, wah…

Doodlebug: Says who?

Sweetie: Says ME, that’s WHO!

Me: What’s all the noise about?

MoonCat: Nothing important enough to wake me from my nap, that’s what!

Sweetie: Where’s my snack? And where has the sun gone? How can I sunbathe without a sun to bathe in?

Doodlebug: And when it going to stop raining? Stupid sky!

Me: Anything else y’all want to complain about? No, forget I said that.

Sweetie: As a matter of fact…

Doodlebug: Don’t get me started.

Me: Too late for that apparently.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Everything Not Nailed Down – Conversations with the Big Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: The wind, Lady Human! The wind.

Me: Yeah, when I was a kid, we used to say that winds like this were likely to carry off anything not nailed down.

Doodlebug: It’s about to carry me off! Nail me down!

Bud: Nail. Nail.

Me: Don’t worry. Y’all are safe inside.

MoonCat: Good. Fussing time is naptime for me. Good night.

Sweetie:  Nail me down, Lady Human, so I don’t blow away! I’m not that chubby! Really I’m not!

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Sweater Weather – Again – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Hey, y’all. It’s still pretty chilly. Here, Sweetie, try on this sweater I crocheted. Doodle, I have some more sweaters you can try…

Doodlebug: Nope.

Me: Well, go ahead and try this one, Sweetie.

Sweetie: Nope.

Me: It’s plenty big and nice and warm…

Sweetie: Nope.

Me: Okay, Doodlebug. You go ahead and…

Doodlebug: Noooooo.

Me: Come on, y’all.

Sweetie: Let me spell this like the humans do. NO!

Me: In that case, MoonCat…

MoonCat: Don’t even look in my direction.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Earth under Our Feet – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Look! Look! See!

Me: See what? Where?

Sweetie: The ground! It’s back! Right where it belongs.

Me: You mean the snow is pretty much gone.

Sweetie: And the earth has returned.

MoonCat: Oh my! Bulldogs. I give up.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Cold, White, Wet, and Weird! – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human! Help! It is awful! And cold! And white! And wet! And weird! And it’s falling from the sky!

Me: It’s snow.

Doodlebug: Why?

Me: Conditions just got right and there it is. Snow.

Sweetie: Make it stop.

Me: It’ll do that soon enough on it’s own.

Sweetie: NO! NOW!

MoonCat: Calm down, silly bully. Do what sane animals like cats do. Take a nap.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

COLD! – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: You look disgruntled, boy.

Doodlebug: If disgruntled is the human word for COLD, then I am DISGRUNTLED!

Sweetie: It’s just another case of the humans not managing things very well.

MoonCat: Oh, dogs, dogs, dogs. Get snuggled down in your blankets and cushions. Tuck your chunky bulldog paws under you. Then bury your gigantic noses in a pillow. Simply compensate for human mismanagement

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

It’s Rude to Stare – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Don’t look now, but the beady eyed birds are staring.

Doodlebug: At what?

Sweetie: I said don’t look!

Me: Why are you all agitated?

Doodlebug: Sweetie thinks the little budgies are staring at us.

Me: Well, apparently they are.

Sweetie: They’re invading our space with their eyeballs.

MoonCat: I don’t mind. When someone stares at me, it just means that they’re admitting the truth. I’m good to look at.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Thinking – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: How come you’re so quiet, Lady Human?

Me: I’m just thinking.

Doodlebug: Uh-oh.

MoonCat: A human thinking. Never a good thing. Hide!

Me: No, nothing bad. It’s just another holiday. New Year’s.

Sweetie: Where is its tree?

Me: New Year’s doesn’t get its own tree.

Doodlebug: Poor New Year’s. What does it get?

Me: Some people party. Some people cook a bunch of food. Some people shoot off fireworks. And some people like me are just quiet and think a lot. About the past. About the future.

Sweetie: About the food? Where are those food people? Let’s go New Year with them!

Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Passing of Little Friend – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What is that laying in your hand, Lady Human?

Sweetie: It looks like…IT IS! ONE OF OUR PARAKEETS!

Me: NO! No, it’s not! Look! Both of our parakeets are still here! Tall Man found this little parakeet outside on the patio fence. He must have flown in and sat down and…passed away.

MoonCat: I had nothing to do with that.

Me: I know, girl. I guess this little guy escaped from his home, wherever that was. He was lost. And it’s been so cold these last few mornings that he just couldn’t make it and…

Doodlebug: He flew here because it was safe.

Me: But it was too late and we didn’t know about him.

MoonCat: And he perched on our fence.

Sweetie: Why did he come here? He could have gone anywhere.

Me: Maybe…

Sweetie: The Great Creator. He knew.

Me: This is so strange. Nothing like this has ever happened to us before.

Doodlebug: Just like when we all came here. Not an accident.

Me: The Lord Jesus said something very interesting about little birds. He said that the fall of even a tiny sparrow doesn’t happen without the Heavenly Father’s notice.

Sweetie: He should have a name. Everyone should have a name.

Me: All right. I’m going to call him ‘Little Tejas’. It’s the name of our home. Texas. It comes from an old Caddoan word that means ‘friend’.

Doodlebug: A little friend just passing through.

Me: Well, he’s home now.

Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Bulldog Thank You – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lots of human food, Lady Human.

Me: Yep. Thanksgiving is food heavy. But it’s really about thanking the Great Creator of All for every good thing.

Sweetie: Like food.

Me: Yep.

MoonCat: And soft pillows.

Me: Yep.

Doodlebug: And not having to pee in the rain.

Sweetie: That one is at the top of every bulldog’s “thankful for” list.

Me: It’s pretty high up there on my “thankful for” list, too.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Good Ole Days – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What happened, Lady Human?

Me: What happened to what?

MoonCat: Don’t get her started, ma’am. You know these questions never make sense.

Sweetie: What happened to all the good ole days?

MoonCat: I warned you.

Doodlebug: Sweetie’s just bored.

Sweetie: I never used to be bored back in the good ole days.

Me: Why can’t these be the good new days?

Sweetie: You tell me, Lady Human. You’re the one in charge of entertainment.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Fix It – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, there is a problem.

Me: There usually is somewhere.

Sweetie: My big blue chair is leaning. My back half is lower than my front half.

MoonCat: Isn’t that always the case?

Me: Well, the wooden frame under the chair has cracked clean in two so that side is down on the floor.

Sweetie: Well, fix it.

Me: Is it that big a problem?

Doodlebug: Not for me. I don’t use it.

MoonCat: Maybe if someone weren’t so heavy on the back side…

Sweetie: Hey, don’t call Lady Human fat!

MoonCat: Hmmm. Was that what I meant?

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Monsters – Conversations with the Parakeet Pack

Me: So how are y’all doing?

Bud: Eeeeek! Eeek! Eek!

Baby: EEEKK!!!

Me: Okay…still losing a bunch in translation here. Was that a happy eek? Or an angry eek? or…

Bud: Monsters!

Baby: Uh-huh. Yep!

Me: Do you mean the bulldogs and the cat?

Bud: Eeek! Chirp. Sharp mouth things.

Baby: Yep. Monsters with sharp mouth things.

Me: You mean teeth. Yeah. But they won’t hurt you. They can’t get to you. I know they’re big and take some getting used to.

Bud: Don’t get used to monsters.

Baby:  Yep. Never get used to monsters. Bad idea. Chirp. But thank you for the millet spray. Chirp. Good idea.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bulldogs Do It Right – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, aren’t you glad?

Me: Glad about what?

Sweetie: Having bulldogs around you all the time.

Me: Well, yeah! Y’all are great.

Doodlebug: Why?

Me: Don’t you know?

Doodlebug: We know we’re great at everything.

MoonCat: Oh, dear, here we go again.

Me: Are you good at swimming?

Sweetie: No, leave that one off the list. It doesn’t count. We were thinking about snoring and eating and drooling and…

Doodlebug: And sleeping and snorting and all the stuff that really counts. You know.

Me: Oh, all that stuff.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Dozers – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Yawn!

Sweetie: Lady Human, may we please proceed with our latest nap?

Me: Well, yeah, sure. But it is still daylight. Don’t you want to. .

Doodlebug: Sleep? Yep.

Sweetie: Snooze? Yessiree!

MoonCat: Oh my word! Just get on with it then. No bulldog gum flapping necessary.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Speak Plainer – Part 2 Conversations with the Big Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. They are staring at me, Lady Human, and making their squeaky sounds. I think they don’t like me.

Sweetie: Hey, Parakeets! Nobody understands your teensy little squeaks! What are you talking about?

Me: Here, let’s try this. Here’s a little piece of fresh banana. Look how they’ve calmed down, just by smelling it.

Doodlebug: Oh, me, me, me! A chunk, please.

Sweetie: Don’t leave me out! Mmmm.

MoonCat: I’ll pass, thank you. Seafood will do for me.

Sweetie: Oh, this is great. Now we’re banana buddies with the birds. I still can’t understand them, but at least we share banana breath.

Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.