cats – Page 8 – Bulldoggy

Good Ole Days – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on November 26, 2024November 26, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What happened, Lady Human?

Me: What happened to what?

MoonCat: Don’t get her started, ma’am. You know these questions never make sense.

Sweetie: What happened to all the good ole days?

MoonCat: I warned you.

Doodlebug: Sweetie’s just bored.

Sweetie: I never used to be bored back in the good ole days.

Me: Why can’t these be the good new days?

Sweetie: You tell me, Lady Human. You’re the one in charge of entertainment.

Fix It – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on November 20, 2024November 20, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, there is a problem.

Me: There usually is somewhere.

Sweetie: My big blue chair is leaning. My back half is lower than my front half.

MoonCat: Isn’t that always the case?

Me: Well, the wooden frame under the chair has cracked clean in two so that side is down on the floor.

Sweetie: Well, fix it.

Me: Is it that big a problem?

Doodlebug: Not for me. I don’t use it.

MoonCat: Maybe if someone weren’t so heavy on the back side…

Sweetie: Hey, don’t call Lady Human fat!

MoonCat: Hmmm. Was that what I meant?

Monsters – Conversations with the Parakeet Pack

Posted on November 15, 2024November 15, 2024 by H.J. Hill

Me: So how are y’all doing?

Bud: Eeeeek! Eeek! Eek!

Baby: EEEKK!!!

Me: Okay…still losing a bunch in translation here. Was that a happy eek? Or an angry eek? or…

Bud: Monsters!

Baby: Uh-huh. Yep!

Me: Do you mean the bulldogs and the cat?

Bud: Eeek! Chirp. Sharp mouth things.

Baby: Yep. Monsters with sharp mouth things.

Me: You mean teeth. Yeah. But they won’t hurt you. They can’t get to you. I know they’re big and take some getting used to.

Bud: Don’t get used to monsters.

Baby: Yep. Never get used to monsters. Bad idea. Chirp. But thank you for the millet spray. Chirp. Good idea.

Bulldogs Do It Right – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on November 13, 2024November 13, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, aren’t you glad?

Me: Glad about what?

Sweetie: Having bulldogs around you all the time.

Me: Well, yeah! Y’all are great.

Doodlebug: Why?

Me: Don’t you know?

Doodlebug: We know we’re great at everything.

MoonCat: Oh, dear, here we go again.

Me: Are you good at swimming?

Sweetie: No, leave that one off the list. It doesn’t count. We were thinking about snoring and eating and drooling and…

Doodlebug: And sleeping and snorting and all the stuff that really counts. You know.

Me: Oh, all that stuff.

Dozers – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on November 10, 2024November 10, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Yawn!

Sweetie: Lady Human, may we please proceed with our latest nap?

Me: Well, yeah, sure. But it is still daylight. Don’t you want to. .

Doodlebug: Sleep? Yep.

Sweetie: Snooze? Yessiree!

MoonCat: Oh my word! Just get on with it then. No bulldog gum flapping necessary.

Speak Plainer – Part 2 Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on November 5, 2024November 5, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. They are staring at me, Lady Human, and making their squeaky sounds. I think they don’t like me.

Sweetie: Hey, Parakeets! Nobody understands your teensy little squeaks! What are you talking about?

Me: Here, let’s try this. Here’s a little piece of fresh banana. Look how they’ve calmed down, just by smelling it.

Doodlebug: Oh, me, me, me! A chunk, please.

Sweetie: Don’t leave me out! Mmmm.

MoonCat: I’ll pass, thank you. Seafood will do for me.

Sweetie: Oh, this is great. Now we’re banana buddies with the birds. I still can’t understand them, but at least we share banana breath.

Good Vibrations – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on November 4, 2024November 4, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. (Snore)

Sweetie: Why does Doodlebug snore so loud?

MoonCat: A question to which we all want the answer.

Me: Vibrations. He breathes through a narrow place in his nose and throat and the vibrations produce sound.

Sweetie: It’s so loud. I’m glad I don’t do that.

MoonCat: Hah!

Me: Actually you do. And I don’t mind. It means you’re breathing.

Doodlebug: Huh? What? Breathing in and out? Okay. I can do that. Good.

Speak Plainer – Part 1 Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on November 3, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Look at me, birds!

Me: Look at that! They turned their heads!

Sweetie: Talk to me! What are their names, Lady Human?

Me: That tall one I call “Bud” and the smaller one I call “Baby”. For now. I may change that later.

Doodlebug: I’m glad you didn’t name me that. “Doodlebug” is just fine.

Sweetie: Hey, birds. I can’t understand you! Speak plainer! Why do they keep squeaking, Lady Human?

Me: That’s their dialect, you might say.

Doodlebug: I don’t understand.

Sweetie: I don’t get it.

MoonCat: Why does that not surprise me?

Vantage Point – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on November 1, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, how come MoonCat gets to sit way up there, far above us?

Sweetie: Yeah, why can’t we do that?

Me: Good question. Why can’t you do that?

Doodlebug: We’re too big?

Sweetie: We’re too heavy?

Me: Both good guesses.

Sweetie: But why would she even want to get that high above us?

MoonCat: The better to see you all, my dears.

Is It Something to Eat? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on October 30, 2024October 30, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Me, first! Me, first!

Me: You first what?

Sweetie: Me first to get the food you have in your hands!

Me: Who says I have food in my hands?

Doodlebug: Aw, Lady Human, the only things you ever have in your hands are food or some mess we made that you just cleaned up. And what you’re carrying right now does not smell like a mess.

Me: Well, it’s not, but it’s not our kind of food either. It’s food for the parakeets.

Sweetie: That counts!

MoonCat: No. I guarantee you. It does not.

Gibberish – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on October 26, 2024October 26, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, those weird little chickens…

Me: Parakeets.

Sweetie: Yeah, uh-huh, sure. They won’t stop their jibber jabber. It’s jibber jabber, jibber jabber all the time. They never make sense.

MoonCat: Now you understand my life with bulldogs.

Bulldog 101 – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on October 23, 2024October 23, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, those tiny chickens in the house…

Me: Parakeets.

Sweetie: Yeah, if you say so. Anyway, they talk funny. I can’t understand them. Teach them to talk in bulldog.

MoonCat: Oh, yes, please, like that will make everything plain.

What Do You Mean There Are Birds in Our House? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on October 20, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, there are two tiny chickens in our house.

Me: Not chickens. Parakeets.

Sweetie: I think what Doodle means is, THERE ARE BIRDS IN OUR HOUSE! You have always said that birds do not belong in the house.

Me: No, I said chickens don’t belong in the house. These are parakeets. They are a gift to me from Tall Man.

MoonCat: If they don’t bother me, I won’t bother them. Deal? Deal.

Ask a Bloodhound – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on October 19, 2024October 19, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: What’s that smell?

Sweetie: What smell? I don’t smell a smell.

MoonCat: Don’t ask a bulldog, Lady Human. Their noses are stunted.

Me: If I can smell that, surely a dog can.

Doodlebug: Are you insulting our nasal capabilities?

Sweetie: How rude!

Me: Forgive me. I’ll just go ask a bloodhound for an opinion, shall I? If I can find one.

Sweetie: We can’t help it that you sniff better than we do.

Doodlebug: Yeah, we are simple bulldogs. Not everybody can have a big ole long pointy nose like yours, ma’am.

A Simple Bulldog Life – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on October 16, 2024October 16, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Uh-oh. Something’s wrong with Lady Human. She’s holding her head and shaking it back and forth.

MoonCat: Is it something I can solve? Cats are great at solving problems and fixing stuff, no matter how badly humans foul things up.

Me: No. It’s just a regular everyday human mess. Confusion. And I’m a little tired. Sometimes I just want a simpler life. Like a bulldog. A simple bulldog life.

Doodlebug: A simple bulldog life? Huh?

Sweetie: Have you been paying attention, Lady Human? You call bulldog lives simple? Somebody get the human one of those word books they call a dictionary. We’ll see who’s simple.

Old Softies – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on October 13, 2024October 13, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Where are they, Lady Human?

Doodlebug: Yeah, I’ve been wondering that, too.

Me: Be a little more specific, guys. Where are what?

Sweetie: My cushy baby blanket – the one you used for your babies way back when, my soft purple dinosaur…

Doodlebug: My blue blanket, my green blanket, my white sleeping pad, my other green blanket, my other blue blanket…

Sweetie: My tiny little blankets that I pile up in the corner, my big blankets that I pile up in the corner…

Me: They are drying. I had to wash them. No choice.

Doodlebug: How can we be expected to survive without our softies?

MoonCat: As usual, cats have the advantage. Find a human. Find the humans’ softest furniture. Presto! Good old softies at your service.

Loud Mouthery – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on October 12, 2024October 12, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, we have a problem. That large bird is walking around outside, shooting his mouth off again. I told him to stop, but he ignored my royal authority.

Sweetie: Ma’am, how can you complain about loud mouthery from bulldogs when that loud mouthery is going on from a bird of all things? We are not nearly so irritating.

MoonCat: Loud mouthery? That has to be a bulldog invention. They are the experts in the field of loud and mouths.

Wrinkles Make the Bulldog – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on October 9, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Why is your face all droopy, Lady Human?

Sweetie: Yeah, you look like a bulldog.

Me: Oh, it’s silly.

MoonCat: So you are a bulldog.

Me: Well, no, but I just had a picture taken yesterday and I saw wrinkles on my face I never knew were there before.

Doodlebug: Oh, is that all?

Sweetie: We do that all the time. Join our club.

MoonCat: No, don’t, Lady Human. Have you seen the rest of them?

Complaint Department – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on October 6, 2024October 6, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, what do humans do when they have a problem?

Me: Depends on the type of problem.

Sweetie: He just wants to complain because I borrowed his dumb ole chew stick.

Doodlebug: It’s not dumb! It’s the best chew stick in the world. And it’s MINE!

Sweetie: Yeah, well, you can keep your ole chew stick then. It tastes nasty anyway, just like you.

Me: Okay! Sweetie, over there! Doodlebug, here’s your chew toy! Sit over there!

Doodlebug: Ew! It’s got her spit on it!

Me: I’ve never known you to be so particular before.

MoonCat: Lady Human, go back to your forever mysterious human activities. I declare the Complaint Department closed…until I have a complaint.

Some Noise is Just Noise – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on October 5, 2024 by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Okay, what’s all the noise about?

Sweetie: How rude! It’s not noise. It’s a song of our people.

Me: No, it’s not. It’s noise. There are songs and there is music, but sometimes noise is just noise.

MoonCat: And the truly intelligent can tell the difference which is why I am going to another room.

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