Keep Your Old Stuff to Yourself – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen, Olde English Bulldogge, and many other interesting things. Hello! Lady Human has been working on a string sweater for me, but it has been going slowly.

Me:        Crochet, not string. And yes, it is going slowly. I am trying to make sure that it doesn’t come undone. But I have an interim solution.

Stella:    Is an interim solution the same thing as a sweater?

Me:        It means I have something that you can use in the meantime. I just have to put in some stitch work here and there and this old crocheted scarf can fit your bulldog neck as a cowl. It will cover your neck, chest, and shoulders…

Stella:    Whoa, Lady Human! Hold up there, horsey!

Me:        Okay.

Stella:    Did you say ‘old crocheted scarf’?

Me:        Yes.

Stella:    How old?

Me:        I made it for one of my girls when she was in college. It has her school colors. But it wasn’t great. I made it in haste and I wasn’t very practiced, so when she graduated, I got it back. I was going to rework it, but it has been sitting around untouched for a couple of years now.

Stella:    You have had it since before we came?

Me:        Yes.

Stella:    So, what is really happening is that you are giving me a hand-me-down. A HAND-ME-DOWN! It belonged to someone else. A HUMAN, no less! And she didn’t want it, so give it to poor ole Stella. She’ll take it. She won’t care. She’s a dog. She’ll take anything. Poor old Stella. A crown-less queen with a hand-me-down shawl in… what colors?

Me:        Maroon and white.

Stella:    Maroo?

Me:        Maroon. It’s a very dark red.

Stella:    Yuck.

Me:        Oh, Stella. It’s just a stopgap until your cape or shawl or sweater or whatever it ends up being is ready. But if you don’t want the scarf, I suppose I can fix it for Snoopey. She always acts so grateful. When she got her new collar last month, I thought she was going to dance for joy…

Stella:    All right, Lady. The human guilt trip worked. Thank you for the scarf. It will help on the very cold days. Thankfully, there may not be many more of those. Can I wear it out only when no one else is around? I mean, as queen, I set the bulldog fashion for the neighborhood. I don’t want to waste anything. What is that human saying that you use about waste?

Me:        Waste not, want not.

Stella:    Yes. The hand-me-down scarf I will waste not, but I want not. Why couldn’t your girl have gone to a school with better school colors?

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Are You Turning Into a Cat? – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella. I am a queen. I am an Olde English Bulldogge. At least I know what I am. Lady Human, on the other hand, is acting weird.

Me:        Weird how? I’m not acting weird. I’m just being me.

Stella:    Why are you playing with string?

Me:        String? No, this is yarn. I am crocheting.

Stella:    It looks like string. You know who plays with string, don’t you? CATS! That’s who!

Me:        Well, this is crocheting and I am not a cat.

Stella:    Cat is as cat does.

Me:        Stella, humans don’t just turn into cats. Or dogs. This is crocheting. It is a human activity.

Stella:    Looks suspiciously like cat string play to me.

Me:        I was planning on making you a sweater. Does that sound like something a cat would do?

Stella:    Yes, a sneaky cat trying to tangle me up in a string ball.

Me:        I’m no cat and I am not trying to tangle you up in anything. I thought you might like a sweater for this cold weather.

Stella:    A sweater. That would be nice. Are you making one for yourself? We could be twins.

Me:        No, I have sweaters.

Stella:    What about one for Tall Man? We don’t want him to get cold.

Me:        No, not for Tall Man. Truthfully, my crocheting is not quite good enough for human tastes yet.

Stella:    Wait! Are you making a goofy sweater out of string to put on me? Am I an… what is that human word? An experiment? Am I an experiment? NOOOO!

Me:        If it doesn’t turn out or if it doesn’t fit, you don’t have to wear it.

Stella:    Promise?

Me:        Promise.

Stella:    All right. Deal. So long as you don’t keep taking up cat habits. And if you can make a sweater out of string, can you, maybe, when you have time…can you make me a crown?

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.