Paw Pointing – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Hey, Doodle, you took my blanket! My favorite one! The one that’s just for me!

Doodlebug: No, I did not! The blankets are for everybody! Stop being so selfish!

Sweetie: You did! You! You! You!

Doodlebug: No, you’re wrong! You! You! You!

Me: Everybody put your paws down!

MoonCat: This sort of behavior always happens when the humans have turkey for dinner. It must be contagious. Happy Day after Thanksgiving.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog Thanksgiving – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Happy Thanksgiving, y’all. Say something you thank the Great Creator for.

Sweetie: I don’t know.

Me: Well, think about it.

Baby and Bud: Tweet. Thanks for warm.

Doodlebug: Thanks for tons and tons of food.

Me: Sounds about right. Sweetie?

Sweetie: Thanks that I am a bulldog and not something else like a poodle…

Me: I like poodles. I’ve known some.

Sweetie: …or a human.

Me: Yeah. I’ve known some of them, too.

MoonCat: Don’t feel badly, Lady Human. I’m thankful for humans. They know how to put tuna in a can.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Extraordinary Smells – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. This is a special day.

Me: Yes. It is. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day.

Sweetie: Doodlebug means the house air smells good today. That’s not always true.

Me: How well I know.

Sweetie: Hey, humans have their stinky moments, too, Lady Human.

Me: How well I know.

Sweetie: But today is a special smell good day. Can’t every day smell this good?

MoonCat: We would have to have some major cooperation from…well, we all know.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Waste Not, Want Not – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, those long sticks look yucky. Throw them away.

Me: First off, since when does a bulldog think anything looks yucky. Secondly, these carrots can be made into a soup or baked in a casserole, so no, I will not waste them.

Doodlebug: But they’re all limp and saggy and smooshy and…yellowy brown.

Me: But they’re not bad. Waste not, want not.

MoonCat: I definitely “want not”.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Bulldog Opinion of Yourself – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: How come humans think they are all that AND a bag of bar-b-que potato chips?

Doodlebug: Yeah, Lady Human, because, from where I sit, y’all are two legs shy of a full load.

MoonCat: Opinion. Opinionated. Opinionation. The very definition of “Bulldog”. In my humble opinion.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Because I Said So – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Those cushions go over there on my bed, Lady Human.

Me: I beg your pardon?

Sweetie: I grant it freely. Just put them there.

Me: Why?

Sweetie: Because I said so.

Me: Not a good enough reason for a bulldog to offer to a human.

Doodlebug: Hey, what if I want them on my bed because I said so?

Sweetie: I said so first.

MoonCat: How about this? I have the last word. Because I said so.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Blessing of Big Noses – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Oooo, smell that, Lady Human.

Me: Smell what? I don’t smell anything.

Sweetie: You need a bigger nose.

Me: My nose is plenty big.

Sweetie: Can you smell the chicken poop outside right now?

Me: Thankfully, no.

Doodlebug: A big nose like ours would solve that problem.

MoonCat: That’s a problem? I’ll stick with my little nose, thank you.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Growling Sky – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, dogs are growling in the sky. Let us at ’em!

Sweetie: How dare they interrupt our sleep with their noise!

Me: That’s just thunder. No dogs are making that noise.

Doodlebug: And lights are flashing. The storm dogs are wearing light-up collars so they don’t get lost in the sky.

Me: Nope, that’s lightning.

Sweetie: It sounds like a pack of bulldogs having a party. Maybe they’ll jump down here and join us.

MoonCat: Oh, joy. Oh, bliss. Imagine! Bulldogs raining from the sky.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Umpteenth Time – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: What have I told y’all? Now, for the umpteenth time, keep your noses out of the kitchen trash.

Sweetie: Umpteenth. Is that a special time of day?

Doodlebug: I think it’s one of those made-up words that only humans like.

MoonCat: Umpteenth sounds sort of iffy. Avoid it umpteen times.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

When Bulldogs Fly – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: When will you take us shopping with you?

Me: When pigs fly.

Sweetie: Oh, good. When will that be?

Me: Never.

Doodlebug: Can’t we just check with some pigs?

Me: Pigs can’t fly. They aren’t made that way.  “When pigs fly” means not gonna happen.

Sweetie: How about in one of those airplane machines?

MoonCat: When bulldogs fly.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Stop Making Up Words – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Unbeknownst to us, a possum was snooping around the chicken house last night.

Sweetie; Hold on there a minute, Lady Human. Un…be…knownst? You just made that up.

Me: No, it’s actually an old word that doesn’t get used much anymore.

Doodlebug: I wonder why.

Sweetie: It’s hard enough to understand humans without you popping in new words that you pulled off the top of your head.

MoonCat: You mean words that are unbeknownst to you.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Bulldog Poem – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I have made up a poem.

Me: “Made up” seems to be your new favorite phrase.

Doodlebug: Remind me. What is a poem?

Sweetie: Words humans string together that sound the same. Like this: Run, run, run. Fun, fun, fun. Bun, bun, bun. Blah, blah, blah.

Doodlebug: It doesn’t make sense.

Sweetie: What does sense have to do with it?

MoonCat: Ah, the bulldog’s motto for life.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Dancing Dogs – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, there is the dumbest thing ever on the Big Picture Box.

Me: Well, that’s saying something.

Sweetie: Dogs are dancing. Like they think they’re humans.

Doodlebug: You won’t catch me doing that. I walk. I run. I prance. I jump. But I don’t dance.

Sweetie: Just because you have four legs doesn’t mean you should be silly with them.

MoonCat: Oh, bulldogs. If only you could see you the way I see you.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog Territory – Part 2 – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, are you ticked off as the humans like to say and like to act?

Me: I don’t like to act ticked off. I’m just noticing once again a bulldog tendency to stake out places and stuff as your own territories.

Sweetie:  How could you say no to this face? Say no to Doodlebug’s face.

Doodlebug: Hey!

Me: Look, I let you use my cushy chairs, my couch, my pillows, you name it, but that doesn’t mean you can takeover everything.

Sweetie: Humans do!

Me: The Creator set it up that way. I’m not by any means saying humans are perfect.

MoonCat: At least one thing is settled.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog Territory – Part 1 Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I have made up the schedule for patrolling our Bulldog Territory.

Me: “Made up” being the operative term.

Sweetie: Rule 1: No possums allowed at any time.

Me: Except when they come in anyway.

Sweetie: Rule 2: Humans are only allowed outside at posted times and in posted places.

Me: Exactly how are you going to post these things?

Doodlebug: Watch for the risen paw. Stop. Turn around. Go inside.

Me: By what authority do you tell me, a human being, whether or not I can go outside in my own yard?

MoonCat: Well, this is going down like a lead balloon. Everybody steer clear. Including possums.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Will Human Messes Never Cease? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you made a mess.

Me: Yes. I dropped an egg.

Sweetie: And that made a mess.

Doodlebug: A really sloppy mess. May I clean it up, please?

Me: That’s okay. I’ll take care of it. No sense spreading it around.

Sweetie: But you made a mess.

Me: If I were a bulldog, I wouldn’t be pointing out the messes of others.

Sweetie: But you are a human. Humans shouldn’t make messes.

MoonCat: Oh, my. Where have you been?

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Chicken Guardian – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, I have been giving this possum situation some thought.

Me: Uh-oh.

Sweetie: The chickens need a guardian and I’m it.

Doodlebug: What about me? I’m the King.

Sweetie: Sure, if you want to sit with me outside the Chicken House all night every night.

Doodlebug: Well, let’s not be unreasonable.

MoonCat: No, let’s never be that. Which is why I’ll maintain my cushy bed inside and happily welcome all reasonable bulldogs back inside when they tire of guard duty after ten minutes.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Oh, Possum, Not Again! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, there is a peculiar scent on the air. It’s…it’s…

Sweetie: It’s POSSUM! Not in my yard!

Me: I don’t think it’s here right now. Probably went after chicken eggs last night.

Sweetie: No! Can’t have my chickens or their eggs!

Me: Your chickens?

Sweetie: My ground, my chickens. This is bulldog territory.

Doodlebug: Possums can’t just waltz in here like they own the place. Who do they think they are?

MoonCat: Well done, possum. Anything that can irritate bulldogs this much earns my admiration.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

As the Crow Flies – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: BIG BIRDS, LADY HUMAN! HEADS DOWN! RUN!

Me: Hold on, girl! No big deal! Just a couple of crows.

Doodlebug: Yeah, Sweetie, don’t be a scaredy cat. Lady Human, if they start heading back this way, you’ll warn me, won’t you?

Me: What’s the problem? Y’all have seen crows before.

Doodlebug: But those are the biggest…

Sweetie: And widest and the wildest…

MoonCat: Who came up with that insulting term “scaredy cat”? Why not scaredy dog? You don’t see me running and hiding. Of course, you don’t see me prancing around outside where the wild birds fly either.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

In a Bulldog Minute – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Come on, y’all. Let’s move it along. We should be able to get this done in a New York minute.

Sweetie: What is a New York minute?

Me: Just an expression for a short, quick time. There’s a place called New York and they have a reputation for moving along at a fast pace.

Doodlebug: So do those clocks you humans love with the long stick hands move faster there?

Me: No, actually they don’t.

Sweetie: I’ll stick with moving along in a bulldog minute. It’s more my style.

Doodlebug: Me, too.

MoonCat: Welcome to bulldog time down south.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.