Silence, Please! – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Roo Roo the Rooster is at it again, Lady Human.

Doodlebug: Yeah, he needs one of those clocks we were talking about because it is way past sunup.

Sweetie: And he is way too loud. Is he in a contest or something?

Baby and Bud: AACCKK! Loud enough?

Me: Sorry, y’all. His head is bigger and his throat is wider than yours. A different fowl altogether.

Baby and Bud: Awwww.

Me: You’re plenty loud on your own.

MoonCat: I’m glad somebody finally said it.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Bulldog of Plants – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, those big green spiky plants have grown again.

Me: Yeah, the cactus leaves have really gotten big this year.

Sweetie: And spiky. Don’t forget spiky.

Doodlebug: With big ole flowers.

Sweetie: And spikes.

MoonCat: Spikes don’t bother me because I don’t stick my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Me: Yeah, the spikes tend to keep trespassers cautious.

Sweetie: Ah, cactus – the bulldog of plants.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Parakeet Dictionary – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I’m confused.

MoonCat: Is that new and unusual?

Me: What’s the confusion?

Sweetie: Those chattering birds.

Me: The parakeets.

Sweetie: Whatever. I need a word book to understand them.

Me: Like a dictionary?

Doodlebug: Like a “this means this” and “that means that” book, because they make no sense at all and they only talk birdy talk all the time.

MoonCat: Excuse me, please, while I spend my day in a worthwhile pursuit – naptime.

Doodlebug: Start pencil scratching, Lady Human. First word: “Ack”. Always said in a loud voice.

Me: Well, I’m not sure, but it seems to mean they’re excited.

Sweetie: ACK!

Me: Oh, that’s way loud!

Sweetie: I’m bulldog excited! Okay, keep writing! Next word…

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Sweep the Sky – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, look! The sky got swept clean. The blue is showing again. You actually swept up the dirt from something. Good for you!

MoonCat: Well done. I’m taking a nap. Y’all can fuss on your own.

Me: I didn’t sweep the sky clean. Credit where credit is due. The Great Creator took care of all that. The winds died down. The dirt fell to earth and settled in a new place.

Doodlebug: I’m glad He worked that out because had we waited for you to use your broom…

Sweetie: We’d still be waiting.

Copyright 2025 H.J. Hill  All Rights Reserved.

Grumble Faces – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: What’s with all the grumble faces?

Sweetie: Are you calling us ugly?

Me: By no means, but you do look a little serious.

Sweetie: Doodlebug! Maybe now is the time to present her with all our complaints…uh… requests.

MoonCat: Grumble faces? That must be a human and dog problem. I always wear the same face. That way no one can tell what I’m thinking. Keep ’em guessing.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

What Wouldn’t a Bulldog Do? – Part 2 – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I’m Sweetie. Hello.

Me: Hello yourself. After all the things I’ve seen y’all do over the years, is there something you can say a bulldog would not do?

Doodlebug: Hmmm. Nope. Nothing.

Sweetie: Nope. I’m pretty much open to anything.

Me: Nothing you wouldn’t eat?

Doodlebug: Given the chance, I’ll chomp down on whatever. Hey, even if not given the chance, I’ll go for it!

Sweetie: After I inspect it for aroma and taste, yeah. Then I’ll chomp down on it. You can’t be too careful nowadays.

MoonCat: What about rocks? Would you eat rocks?

Doodlebug: What flavor?

MoonCat: It almost goes without saying, Lady Human, but here it is. Stupid is as bulldog does.

Copyright 2024 H J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Fumble Fingers – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What are you trying to do, Lady Human?

Sweetie: Whatever it is, you make it look hard.

Me: I’m just opening a can of tuna for MoonCat. Oh, no! Fumble fingers. I just spilled some.

Sweetie: I hope you don’t expect ME to eat that. It’s been on the floor.

Me: As if that’s ever mattered to y’all before. No, I’ll clean it up.

MoonCat: Wait a moment. Don’t be so hasty.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Puppy Steps – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human! Quick! Quick! Hurry! Hurry! Hungry! Hungry!

Me: This food bag is heavy and I have to move with baby steps so I don’t fall over or pull a muscle.

Doodlebug: We call what you are doing ‘puppy steps’. Let’s speak clearly, ma’am.

Me: Okay, puppy steps then. My point is that we all go at our own pace.

Sweetie: If you would just get two more legs like we have, you could puppy step faster.

Me: Sorry. That’s not going to happen. The Great Creator gave y’all four each, not me.

MoonCat: I have the most talented four feet in the whole house. When I walk, it’s called “pussyfooting”. The best of all worlds.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

My Midnight Friend – Conversations with Doodlebug and MoonCat

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: What is going on here? It’s almost midnight.

MoonCat: Meow. We talk.

Doodlebug: Yeah. We are best friends. Friends talk.

Me: At midnight?

Doodlebug: What better time, Lady Human? We don’t get interrupted at midnight…usually.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Bulldoggy Chores Are #1 – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

Stella:    Lady Human, what are you doing?

Me:        I am working on an arrangement that will make it easier for the cat to…

Stella:    Oh, nothing important then. That’s what I thought. Stop doing that and start doing this.

Me:        Start doing what? Stella, I am busy here.

Stella:    Just with cat stuff. I need my toys washed and arranged. My water bowl needs to be cleaned. And I think my breakfast bowl this morning was not as full as usual so please check into that. Oh, and I was scratching a while ago and shed some hair behind my crate so that needs to be swept up. And Miss Sweetie drooled and snooted on the floor over there so break out that strong smelling stuff you use to wipe up messes. And…

Me:        Woah, hold up there, Horsey! Just a cotton pickin’ minute! Who is in charge here?

Stella:    I have been wondering about that for a long time now.

 

 

Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.