The Twitching of Noses – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: What’s going on, y’all?

Sweetie: You tell us. You’re the human in the room.

Me: Your noses are twitching to beat the band.

Doodlebug: What is a band and why would I want to beat it?

Me: I mean you are obviously scenting something and, poor inadequate nose that I have, I don’t smell a thing out of the ordinary.

Sweetie: Someone is cooking outside.

Doodlebug: A human is walking with a dog nearby.

Sweetie: The chickens have laid their eggs.

Doodlebug: You have put on clean clothes.

MoonCat: Yes, I particularly noticed that last one. Thank you so much.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Let’s Get This Straight – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: This here is not right. This belongs over there on the floor, not hanging halfway off that stand. It’s a mess waiting to happen.

Sweetie: Let me get this straight. I put my things where I want them and you come along, Lady Human, and foul it all up. Well, thank you very much. Humph!

Doodlebug: I like it better the new way.

Sweetie: You have no imagination.

MoonCat: I do. I imagine that’s one less thing to fall on my precious head.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Stuff and Nonsense – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, there was an awful lot of noise last night and not the kind I enjoy because I didn’t make any of it.

Me: Yeah, a lot of people gunning their engines, revving up and speeding down the roads. All stuff and nonsense.

Sweetie: I like stuff.

Doodlebug: I like nonsense.

Me: I know y’all do. But this was stuff and nonsense that keeps interrupting sound sleep. I can do without that.

MoonCat: Have earplugs for cats been invented yet? Because I could sure use a pair. Stuff and nonsense blockers.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Wagging Tongues – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Ugh. Wagging tongues!

Sweetie: I’m not wagging my tongue. I save all wagging for my tail.

Doodlebug: My tongue licks. Hands and faces and food and other stuff I can reach…

Me: Yeah, I get the picture. No, I’m put out because some wagging human tongues can’t seem to stay still and they cause trouble.

Sweetie: Give them sticky treats that will glue their mouths shut.

Dioodlebug: Or give them something to wag instead of their tongues.

MoonCat: My rule to avoid trouble: Keep your tongue firmly in your mouth and your long curvy tail wrapped comfortably around your own body. No wagging allowed.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Nagging List – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Why are you frowning at that paper, Lady Human? Is it chasing you?

Me: Yeah. It’s a list of things to do that keeps nagging me. I get one thing scratched off and there are two more on it.

Sweetie: Tell it to shut up. Or better yet, give it to me and I’ll chew it up for you.

MoonCat: Can we have some peace and quiet, please? I’m trying to get nothing done here.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights. Reserved.

Snuffler at the Door – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What is that noise?

Me: Something…or someone is moving stuff on the front porch.

Doodlebug: Snuffling! Let me at ’em!

Me: No, we’re not opening the door.

Sweetie: Lady Human, be a human! Do human things!

Me: Like what?

Doodlebug: Peak through the tiny window in the door! What do you see?

Me: Nothing. I’ll turn on the porch light. Now I hear the noise from over there by the front corner. It’s too dark. Still can’t see anything. Wait. The sound is gone. Probably a dog. Or a raccoon.

Sweetie: Or a cat.

MoonCat: How dare you? That slander is a calumny against all cats! No self-respecting cat worthy of the name ‘cat’ would ever make that much racket.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Stormy Memory – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What is that dark blob in the middle of the Big Picture Box?

Me: That’s a radar image of a huge storm called a hurricane.

Sweetie: It’s ugly.

Me: Yeah, more than you know.

Doodlebug: We had a big storm. The huge oak tree got knocked over onto our house. Remember?

Me: True. That was a hurricane force wind in a big storm, but not a hurricane.

Sweetie: That was scary. So loud. And later those men came and banged on our roof all day. Is that wind blob coming here?

Me: No, it’s far away and headed a different direction. Others are in its path though.

Sweetie: What should we do?

Me: Pray.

MoonCat: Can we schedule not to have any more of those fierce winds? You see, I don’t weigh very much.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

No Dog in The Fight – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, something loud is going on over there.

Me: Yeah, but not our business.

Doodlebug: What if the loud comes over here?

Me: Then it would be our business. For right now, we’ve got no dog in the fight.

Sweetie: Of course not. We are here and we’re not fighting.

Me: It’s an old expression. It means mind your own business. Keep your nose to yourself.

MoonCat: We cats always keep our noses to ourselves. But then our noses are much smaller than the nasal organs of bulldogs or humans so…no cat in this fight.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Entangled – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, are you still crocheting that little toy? BUT NO SWEATERS!

Me: There were some problems with the kit and the instructions. Now I’m trying to undo what I’ve done and it’s a tangled mess.

MoonCat: As I say, ma’am, I’m a yarn aficionada. I’ll be happy to take it off your hands, no matter what state it’s in.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Cracking Sky – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. YAWN.

Sweetie: Lady Human, the sky is cracking into pieces. Please go put it back together and tell it to be quiet. Some of us are trying to sleep.

Me: It’s just a big thunderstorm. A front is moving through. The sky will be fine.

Doodlebug: Why now? Can’t these things be arranged for a more convenient time?

Me: Nope.

MoonCat: Thankfully there are a few things humans can’t schedule. That gives me hope.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

In a Jiffy – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. I need to go out, Lady Human!

Me: Okay, my hands are full. In a jiffy!

Sweetie: Jiffy? Where?

Me:  It means in a fraction of a second.

Doodlebug: A second?

Me: (snapping fingers) Like that quick. Quicker than you can imagine. So quick that…

Doodlebug: Uh-oh.

MoonCat: I think we passed the jiffy point.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Head Scratching – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, do you have an infestation? You keep scratching your head.

Me: No, it’s just dry, flaky scalp. Why are you scratching your head now?

Sweetie: It looked fun so I thought I’d do it, too.

Doodlebug: Me, too. Ahhh, so good.

Me: This is contagious. I wonder why.

MoonCat: Don’t look at me. It’s a real head-scratcher.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Dream Grit – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Sweetie, hold still so I can clean the grit off your eyelid.

Sweetie: NO! NOBODY TOUCHES THE EYE!

Me: Not the eyeball. Just the corner where the sleep collects.

Doodlebug: The sleep?

Me: Yeah, my parents called it that. The grit or sand that collects while we sleep. They said the sandman brought it while we dreamed, but…

Sweetie: Who is this sandman and why did y’all let him break into the house?

Me: It’s just a story. Nobody came in for real. It’s all made-up.

MoonCat: Made-up? Then I have a question. Where did the made-up dream grit come from?

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

You Call That Singing? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, are you in pain?

Me: No. Why?

Sweetie: That terrible high-pitched scream coming out of your mouth.

Me: I was singing.

Doodlebug: Is singing what humans do when they are in pain?

Me: Singing is music. It’s supposed to sound good.

Sweetie: Oh, no! MoonCat, did that sound good to you?

MoonCat: It’s all a matter of taste really. Hold onto your ears while I share my feline style of singing. I think you’ll understand.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog Permission List Part 2 – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Item 2 on the Bulldog Permission List…

Me: How long is this list?

Sweetie: Too long to count. Item 2…no…wait…I haven’t made that one up yet.

MoonCat: Welcome to “Bulldog Imaginary World”, run by bulldogs, for bulldogs, and not very well run at that.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog Permission List – Part 1 – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I have an announcement. Due to strange things that happen around here, I have made a list of permitted behavior.

Me: Oh, goody. I was waiting for a bulldog to tell us what we are allowed to do.

Sweetie: First, Lady Human may crochet so long as she does not make sweaters.

Me: How about hats?

Sweetie: Hats for humans only. And cats. Cats can have hats.

MoonCat: I beg to differ.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

No Sweaters! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, why are you playing with long string? You are not a cat, are you?

Sweetie: You’re not a secret cat, are you? Because that would be too weird for words.

Me: I’m not a cat, secret or otherwise. No, the string is yarn and I am crocheting.

Sweetie: But that’s where sweaters come from!

Doodlebug: No sweaters!

Sweetie: No sweaters!

Me: I’m crocheting a little amigurami toy as a gift. 

Sweetie: Phew! That was a close call.

MoonCat: You wouldn’t happen have some leftovers of that yarn, would you? I ever so love that stuff. BUT NO SWEATERS!

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.