I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. IT’S HERE! IT’S HERE! TOY DAY IS HERE!
Tiger: How do you know?
Stella: The box! The box! Lady Human has the box!
Me: Settle down. This will take a minute or so to set up. I just ordered it yesterday. It came so fast.
Stella: But you said you were getting it centuries ago.
Me: That was a couple of days ago, but I didn’t actually get the order in until yesterday.
Stella: Lady Human, for shame! You lied to a dog.
Me: Well, they’re here now.
Miss Sweetie: Mine!
Tiger: Aw. There won’t be any left for me.
Me: There are enough for everyone to get a toy. I picked some new style ones this year. Okay, first. Stella. Stella?
Stella: I am giving my turn to Sweetie.
Me: What? Why?
Stella: I always get to go first because I am… oldest. Sweetie never gets to go first because she is young. She should get to go first this time.
Me: That’s kind of you, Stella.
Stella: I am that kind of bulldog. A kind one.
Me: Sweetie, go for it.
Miss Sweetie: Which one? Which one? This one!
Me: All right! The tough chew that looks like a stick but is maple bacon-flavored. Okay, Stella, do go this time.
Stella: Okay! Okay! This one!
Me: Tough chew bone flavored like peanut butter. That’s a switch. Wiggles, your turn.
Wiggles: Easy. This one smells like BACON! Mine!
Me: Tough chew bacon-flavored bone. Tiger, you’re next.
Tiger: What is that? Hey, Wiggles has one like that! I want that one so I can be like Wiggles! And it smells like beef.
Me: Blue multi-sided tough chew bone. Okay, Doodle, you have two to pick from.
Doodlebug: This one is different. I want to be different.
Me: That one is made to look like an antler and smell like venison. Since you’ve never seen either, that would be different for you.
Stella: There is still one left, just like before.
Me: I know. I still like to order six. That’s just me being weird.
Stella: I also remember Snoopey, Lady Human. It’s not weird to remember. Maybe we can give it to a dog that doesn’t have a toy and then that dog can remember Snoopey, too.
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