I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, still without a crown. Do I look good in my purple church lady hat?
Me: You look lovely.
Stella: Because I have no crown yet. Where is my crown? You promised.
Me: I haven’t found a suitable one yet.
Stella: I think you have not been looking hard enough. Don’t humans have places where you buy crowns?
Me: Not sure about crown stores.
Stella: Will it cost a lot of money?
Me: It could.
Stella: That’s all right. Spend it! I am worth it.
Me: I don’t doubt that. I have not been spending time or money on your crown lately. I am trying to calm Miss Sweetie and Doodlebug.
Stella: Agghh. Sister and brother nonsense.They are young and stupid.
Me: Be that as it may, they love each other so much that they are grabbing each other when they play. I have had to separate them more than once.
Stella: NO! They really do love their play-play.
Me: Maybe you can talk to them then. They are playing too rough. Miss Sweetie’s shoulder got scraped when Doodlebug grabbed her while they were wrestling.
Stella: But it was brotherly love. Didn’t you play fight with your litter mates?
Me: Humans don’t have litters. As for me, I was an only child.
Stella: Only one? So you never had anyone to play fight with? So sad!
Me: I had a cousin who would visit every so often. We had a few fights.
Stella: Did you get him with your teeth and shake him and throw him around? That is the most fun!
Me: No, but one time we were both standing on top of my toy box and he looked at me all snooty so I pushed him off.
Stella: That’s wonderful! That’s what I am talking about! Love!
Me: Love or not, Doodlebug and Miss Sweetie need to tone it down.
Stella: Never tone down a bulldog! Being bulldoggy is what makes us…well…bulldogs.I will speak to Miss Sweetie. We talk a lot because we look so much alike. Doodlebug is a stupid, yucky boy. He doesn’t listen.
Me: And he is a teenager. They both are. I don’t want to restrict their play, but I can’t let them hurt each other by accident.
Stella: Is this the hard part of being a human with bulldogs?
Me: Just one of many, Stella, my friend.
Stella: Okay. I will start by telling Doodlebug what an idiot he is. Maybe he will listen to Aunt Stella for once. And I will tell Miss Sweetie to stand up for herself.
Me: Well, Miss Sweetie gets her own licks in during those wrestling matches.
Stella: She does? Good for her! We girls have to stand up for ourselves.
Me: I just want them to get back to where they can play-play without it getting out of hand. Can Stella the Queen take care of that?
Stella: I don’t know about the Queen. Maybe Aunt Stella can. But keep one thing in mind – they are teenagers, so victory is not in sight.
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.