I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, that boy chicken is about to get my goat.
Me: The rooster. Boy chickens are called roosters. I named him Roo-roo.
Sweetie: If he keeps pecking at me, you can name him Pancake as in “flat as a”!
Doodlebug: A rooster pancake. Hmmm.
MoonCat: Hmmm. Pancake the Rooster or a rooster pancake. Nope, not on my agenda.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, I have been giving this possum situation some thought.
Me: Uh-oh.
Sweetie: The chickens need a guardian and I’m it.
Doodlebug: What about me? I’m the King.
Sweetie: Sure, if you want to sit with me outside the Chicken House all night every night.
Doodlebug: Well, let’s not be unreasonable.
MoonCat: No, let’s never be that. Which is why I’ll maintain my cushy bed inside and happily welcome all reasonable bulldogs back inside when they tire of guard duty after ten minutes.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
The world’s largest chicken, but only when its mouth is open.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
” Never underestimate the value of ear plugs in a loud environment.”
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: And I am tired.
Me: How come?
Sweetie: Chattering chickens. They never stop talking and they say nothing.
MoonCat: Like some others I could name.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, we have a problem.
Sweetie: Uh-oh!
Me: I’m hearing that word a little too often.
Sweetie: Tappy the Chicken is stuck between the gate and the door! She walked in, but she can’t turn around.
Doodlebug: Chickens are so stupid.
MoonCat: Meow. Bulldogs should be careful about who they call stupid.
Sweetie: Help, Lady Human! She’s hopelessly trapped!
Me: Not hopelessly. She just needs to back up. Sometimes a few steps back is all it takes. I’ll be there in a second.
Doodlebug: Never mind! She backed out. Dumb chicken.
MoonCat: Meow. One wonders how long it would have taken a bulldog to figure that one out.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. That noise must stop.
Me: You mean your barking?
Sweetie: No, Lady Human, you know what noise. That awful chicken barking from outside.
MoonCat: Meow. Yes, it must stop. It is worse than bulldog barking if that is even possible…which it is not.
Me: Chickens don’t usually respond to commands.
Doodlebug: So, they do have something in common with bulldogs.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, I hear a noise that must be stopped.
Sweetie: It’s my friend, the chicken! She’s knocking at the patio door.
MoonCat: Nope. No more residents allowed in my house.
Me: Well, no chickens anyway.
Sweetie: What? No fair!
Me: Sorry, hon. Chickens don’t go well in a house. That’s why they have one of their own.
Sweetie: But she’s knocking. She wants to visit.
Me: I tell you what. Go on out and visit with her awhile.
Doodlebug: Yeah. Do that. Whatever it takes to stop that noise.
Me: Maybe we should give her a name.
Sweetie: There’s only one that fits. Tappy.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Sweetie: Lady Human! I have a new friend.
Me: I saw that.
Sweetie: She is really nice and friendly and not scared of my big ole bulldog face at all. And she didn’t say anything. Nice and quiet.
Me: Yeah. She just stood right by you the whole time you sat in the patio. Kind of strange for a chicken.
Sweetie: What chicken?
Me: Your new patio friend. She’s a chicken. Remember. We talked about chickens. The birds that have wings, but they only flap and don’t fly.
Sweetie: She doesn’t fly away and she doesn’t talk. Perfect in every way.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Sweetie: Lady Human, it’s that big bird again.
Me: Yeah, I see her.
Sweetie: She’s all wet. How come?
Me: It rained earlier. She must have decided to stay out in the downpour instead of going inside her house.
Sweetie: Is that why she’s in my space, stomping around?
Me: She’s probably just trying to figure things out.
Sweetie: Well, one thing she needs to figure out is when to come in out of the rain.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
“Don’t cross the line! This is dog territory! No chicken invaders allowed!”
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“Is that what is called a ‘featherbrain’? I thought that only applied to humans.”
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Sweetie: Lady Human, we have a problem.
Me: What’s wrong?
Sweetie: There is something running around my sunbath area. I think it is a bird. It has wings, but it is not flying. I think something needs to be done.
Me: It’s alright, Sweetie. It’s a chicken.
Sweetie: Well, I knew it wasn’t a bulldog. But I don’t think it’s right to have a big chicken running around my sunbath spot.
Me: She won’t bother you.
Sweetie: What if she wants my spot? I’m not giving up my spot to a bird. I mean, what if she invites friends? It won’t be a sunbath anymore. It’ll be a bird bath.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
“Have you ever seen a chicken climb a tall fence? It is an inspiring sight. But why did the chicken climb the fence? To get to the other side, I guess.”
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“Kick up your heals every once in a while. Just don’t kick anybody.”
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 