Too Much Coming and Going – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, the doors are opening and closing too much.

Me: But not by themselves. There’s just a lot of coming and going today.

Sweetie: How come? Tall Man is in and out. The Little Human is back and forth. And you, well, you’re sitting pretty still, but there’s all the other backward and forward stuff.

Me: Some days are simply busier than others.

MoonCat: The very reason I never miss an opportunity for a quick nap. Or a medium nap. Or a long nap. I’ll be honest. I nap as much as possible no matter what’s going on. Sound napping policy.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Vote? Nobody Asked Me! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, why did you leave us awhile ago? Were you doing some weird human nonsense? I feel so left out.

Me: I went to vote.

Doodlebug: Nobody asked me to do that, whatever it is. Was there food?

Me: It’s a selection process. We make choices by pushing a button. Not something that would interest dogs. Or cats. Or birds…

Sweetie: So something that doesn’t matter then.

Me: I wouldn’t say that.

MoonCat: Something that matters to us, but once again humans control the buttons.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Bulldog’s Freedom of Speech – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: NOW HEAR THIS!

Me: It’s hard not to.

Sweetie: I hereby declare my bulldog right to freedom of speech!

Doodlebug: Does that mean me, too?

Sweetie: Only when I’m not talking.

MoonCat: That pretty much squeezes the rest of us out.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Indoor Voices – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Due to the wild, loud bulldog singing yesterday, we are instituting a new house rule. Indoor Voices in the house.

Sweetie: BOOOO!

Doodlebug: Double BOOOO!

MoonCat: Well, that worked, didn’t it?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog Chorus – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Tuning up. Here we go. AHHOOOO!

Doodlebug: AHHOOOOHOOO!

Sweetie: Together now!

Doodlebug and Sweetie: AHHOOOO! AHHOOO!

Me: Hold on! Wait just a minute here!

Sweetie: Okay, Lady Human! Just a minute though. We’re all warmed up.

MoonCat: Where’s a cool front when we need it?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Too Quiet – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human?

Me: Yes?

Sweetie: Something is wrong.

Me: What, pray tell?

Sweetie: It’s too quiet. There’s no wind, the humming kind or the whistling kind, and no loud human machines are roaring or rumbling.

Me: For how many days have you been complaining about too much noise? And now it’s quiet. Do you want the noise back?

Sweetie: Maybe…a little.

Doodlebug: I don’t want it back. Naptime.

MoonCat: No comment. Now it’s quiet.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

When the Wind Hums – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: There’s that humming again outside the kitchen window.

Me: It’s the wind, doing its thing.

Doodlebug: Why can’t its thing be quieter?

Sweetie: First, it was whistling. Now it’s humming. I don’t recognize the song so I can’t even hum along. I know. I’ll hum my own song! That’ll teach that wind a lesson.

MoonCat: What lesson would that be? That bulldogs can’t carry a tune?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Polite is Not My Middle Name – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Watch out. Stand aside. Coming through.

Me: Well, you could give a little more notice.

Sweetie: Your legs were in my way, Lady Human. I moved them over.

Me: A little politeness goes a long way.

Sweetie: I am a bulldog. Polite is not my middle name. Cuddly, yes. Adorable, yes. Wonderful, yes. Polite just wastes time. Coming back through.

Doodlebug: I’m polite!

MoonCat: Me, too, if extra treats are forthcoming as a result.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Only Bees Should Buzz – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Buzzing, Lady Human, loud buzzing! Bees swarming! Watch out!

Me: Not this time, honey. That’s a lawn mower running.

Doodlebug: It’s too annoying. Must be wasps.

Sweetie: On second thought…loud…annoying. Yep. Has to be human.

MoonCat: Yes, blame every noise on the humans. No other species makes loud annoying noises, do they, bulldogs?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Curtailed – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come me and Doodle don’t have long tails?

Me: A century and more of bulldog breeding took that away from y’all. But you can still wag what you’ve got.

Sweetie: Ugh! Humans again, deciding what we can and can’t have! Not fair.

Baby and Bud: Chirrrup! We keep our long tail feathers!

Me: Not all human decisions are…

Doodlebug: Wise?

Sweetie: Intelligent?

Baby and Bud: Good ideas?

Doodlebug: Unselfish?

Sweetie: Well-intentioned?

MoonCat: I think we get the idea. The important thing is that I still have my long, luxurious tail to wave in all your faces.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Blah! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. BLAH!

Sweetie: BLAH! BLAH!

Me: If “blah” still means what it used to mean, y’all said it in the most excited non-blah way.

Doodlebug: Nothing to do.

Sweetie: Nothing to chew.

Me: Wrong on both counts. Eat. Drink. Walk around. Breathe the air. Take a nap.

MoonCat: Nap. Beat you to it about an hour ago. Nothing blah about a nap.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Windbags – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, someone is rudely whistling outside, disturbing our peace. Make them stop.

Me: Sorry. I can’t. That’s the wind again.

Doodlebug: Why can’t it blow quietly? I’m trying to nap.

Me: There are all kinds of factors that cause the winds to rise.

Sweetie: I know what causes it. Humans talking. talking, talking all the time with their big flappy mouths. Windbags blowing air everywhere. They need to quiet down.

MoonCat: Oh, that’s right. Only humans are big windbags. Yeah, sure.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Bouncy Branch – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, look out the window. That tree is waving to us!

Me: The wind is shaking that thin branch.

Doodlebug: It’s bouncing up and down. It must be happy. Hey, cats can climb trees. I saw it on the Big Picture Box. Go climb it, MoonCat!

MoonCat: I never climb bouncing trees. Not good cat sense. I think it is nodding in agreement with me that we want the winds to settle down. Just a thought.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Monster Machine – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. LOUD!

Me: Yes, you are.

Sweetie: Not us. Lady Human! Tall Man is pushing around the Monster Machine! LOUDER THAN US!

Baby and Bud: LOUD!

Me: Okay, I’ll shut the door and we’ll wait it out in here. He’s just getting the dust and dirt up. You want that, don’t you?

Sweetie: We’ll keep the dust.

Doodlebug: We’ll keep the dirt.

MoonCat: Yes, dust and dirt are a whole lot quieter, if you forget about the coughing and the sneezing.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Nasal Overwhelm – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Achoo! Snort snort! What is that awful smell?

Sweetie: Lady Human, you are responsible for this mismanagement of our air!

Me: I just spritzed a very small amount of an old cologne I had. I did it completely away from the parakeets to see if it was any good…

Doodlebug: Oh, protect the budgies, but not the bulldogs. Is that it? Our precious noses are millions of times more sensitive than yours!

Me: I’m opening a window to let it out.

Sweetie: And now the world will never be the same.

MoonCat: That window opening option might work on other objectionable odors, say the kind spritzed from bulldogs.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Dancing Feet – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: That two-legged human on the Big Picture Box sure knows how to use his feet.

Me: Yeah, that’s Ray Bolger in an old movie.

Doodlebug: Too bad he didn’t have four feet. Think what he could have done then.

Me: Humans are only allotted two. More than that, we might get into even more trouble.

Sweetie: Can you dance, Lady Human?

Me: Nope. Never have been able to.

Sweetie: I can! Watch! You just move this way and then faster. If you need help, I’ll lend you a couple of my feet.

MoonCat: A generous offer, though a little lopsided.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Fuzzy Humans – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come Tall Man has a fuzzy face?

Me: Fuzzy?

Doodlebug: Yeah. He has fuzz covering half his face which is a really good look for a human. Much more bulldogish.

Me: Oh, the beard. Some men grow facial hair and some shave it off. Personal choice.

Sweetie: I’ve always felt sorry for humans with your hairless faces. It must be very cold.

MoonCat: Not if they have a cat cuddler.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.