Noses in the Air – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, why are you pointing your nose toward the sky?

Me: I smell a slight scent on the air.

Doodlebug: Let me try. Mmmm, nope. Nothing.

Sweetie: Me neither. You smell it because you’re so tall.

Doodlebug: Let us climb on your shoulders so we can smell it, too.

Me: 160 pounds of bulldog. Not gonna happen.

MoonCat: Cats have advantages over bulldogs. We climb heights to thrust our noses in the air. No human boosters required.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Paper Scratching – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: That pointy stick in your hand is making that scratchy noise again, Lady Human.

Me: Yeah, that happens.

Doodlebug: Is the paper stuff itchy so you have to scratch it?

Me: Huh? No, paper isn’t alive. It has no feeling of its own.

Sweetie: So you make the stick mark it up so you will feel something.

Me: Well…I guess so. Pens don’t tell themselves what to write.

MoonCat: Poor old paper. It looked so nice and clean before all that scratching.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

In a Huff – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Sweetie, why are you looking so grumpy dog?

Sweetie: How do the humans put it? I’m in a huff. In a snit. Ticked off. Pissed off. In a word, miffed.

Doodlebug: The humans must get that way a lot. They have so many words for it.

Me:  But how come you’re in a bad mood?

Sweetie: How should I know? I just am! Is that all right with you? Don’t look at me!

Me: Okay. Been there and done that before. Take a nap. And here’s a treat.

MoonCat: Oh, fine! Reward the irritable! At least I have the courtesy to keep my huffiness to myself. Hey! Don’t look at me!

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Sound Bulldog Advice – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, we know how to break your chocolate fixation. Every time you want to pick up a piece of chocolate, stop.

Me: Easily said. Not as easily done.

Doodlebug: Stop and turn around and go get us a treat instead.

Sweetie: And you never want to give us too many treats, do you? Even though there is no such thing as too many treats for bulldogs, so…

Doodlebug: You will stop thinking of your treats so much.

Sweetie: Because you don’t want us to get fat from too many treats, even though there is no such thing as too many treats for bulldogs.

Me: Hmmm. Practiced distraction. Redirection. It might work.

MoonCat: Good advice from bulldogs? Wonders never cease. Distract some cat treats my way while you’re at it.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog Intervention – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, is that yet another chocolate bar you’re holding?

Sweetie: Tucked safely away in your front pocket with your floppy sleeve covering it?

Doodlebug: Hiding it from man and beast?

Me: Maybe.

Sweetie: Psst! Doodle, we could snatch it and bury it in the backyard. Then the ants could eat it and Lady Human would be saved.

Doodlebug: No, she’d worry that we had eaten it and we can’t have chocolate at all. But we could stare at her until she gets embarrassed.

Sweetie: She’s already embarrassed or she wouldn’t be hiding it.

MoonCat: No chocolate! Never! Sneaking rich treats? Shameful behavior. Unless, of course, it’s a sardine and I’m doing the sneaking. Then it’s perfectly justified.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Running Head Start – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: I’m going outside to feed the chickens. Give me and them about a running head start of about 10 seconds.

Sweetie: To start their heads? Don’t chickens run around with their heads on?

Doodlebug: It’s so they won’t get all scared by our big bulldog faces.

Sweetie: But why do you get a head start, Lady Human? Not fair! And what does “about 10 seconds” mean?

MoonCat: Continue discussing. Meanwhile, I’ll simply stay where I comfortably am, giving me a head start over bulldogs, chickens, and humans, as is my due.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Curtain Call – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: How come you do that every night with the parakeets’ cage, Lady Human?

Me: You mean why do I cover it and pull the curtain around it?

Doodlebug: They can’t see out. It’s completely black.

Me: That way they get uninterrupted sleep.

Sweetie: But we don’t have curtains.

Doodlebug: How are we going to get uninterrupted sleep?

Me: I believe you already have that figured out.

MoonCat: Yes, the deep resonant bulldog snores testify to it.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

What Are You Hiding? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, what are you hiding behind your back?

Me: Hiding? Who says I’m hiding anything? Maybe my hand is just resting on my back.

Doodlebug: Then why does it smell like a treat?

Me: Okay, I confess to having a small chocolate bar, but y’all cannot have chocolate at all. I was trying to keep you from temptation.

Sweetie: Then who’s going to eat it?

Me: Well…

MoonCat: Rules for thee, but not for me, huh?

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Noisy Night – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: How come, Lady Human?

Me: Sounds like an open-ended question. How come what?

Sweetie: How come humans love to make loud, useless noises like they did again last night?

Doodlebug: Yeah. Blowing up parts of the sky. When we make noise, it’s because we want something like…you know, everything.

Sweetie: Even the chickens and the rooster have reasons for their loud, annoying clucking and crowing. But humans just make noise to make noise.

Me: I don’t know why. We do make a lot of unnecessary noises. I never thought about it before.

MoonCat: Hence it keeps happening.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.