Hidden Treasure – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Quick! Put that down in there and kick dirt all over it.

Doodlebug: I’m hurrying.

Sweetie: Uh-oh.

Me: What? Okay, where’d the hole come from?

Doodlebug: It just appeared. Nobody dug it.

Me: Yep, sure. What’s in there?

Sweetie: Treasure.

Me: Your toys are going to get wet and muddy down there. They’re going back inside the house.

Sweetie: Oh, poo! A perfectly good backyard hole. Now what can we use it for?

MoonCat: Holes should be dug for one reason and one reason only and it is not to hide treasure. Cats understand this.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Refuse Pile of Notions – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, there are two big bags of stuff in my favorite napping spot. And they don’t even smell interesting.

Me: Oh, I’ll move them. Those are just some old supplies I gathered that I’ve never used. I had notions about crafting decorations and stuffed animals and crocheting some more sweaters, but I never…

Sweetie: NO! NO! NO MORE SWEATERS! EVER!

MoonCat: Lady Human, kindly drive any notion of putting a sweater on me right out of your head and into the nearest refuse pile. For once, Sweetie and I stand united.

©️ 2025.H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Paw on the Shoulder – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, howcome uou’re all slumped over?

Me: Just human stuff.

Doodlebug: I’m so sorry you are a human. It sounds so hard. Except you can drive a rolling box and open doors with one paw and reach things that are up high and…

Sweetie: I think you need a paw on your shoulder.

Doodlebug: Or two paws.

MoonCat: Yes, that’s it. Many bulldog paws lighten load. Just don’t squash her!

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Were You Yelling at Us? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, what did you mean yelling out, “It’s right there where you threw it.”? I didn’t throw anything.

Me: I was talking to myself.

Doodlebug: Do you answer yourself?

Me: Yeah, all the time, mainly to yell at myself.

Sweetie: You yell at yourself? Cool!

MoonCat: If you need to yell at someone, you have my permission to yell at me. I’ll just ignore it as I ignore everything the bulldogs yell.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Noses Are for Scenting – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you have a very limited notion of what bulldogs’ noses are good for.

Me: They’re not good stick holders. I know that.

Sweetie: But they scent a whole bunch more than human noses can. Like ka-billions and ka-billions times more.

Me: I don’t know what a “ka-billion” is, but yes, a whole lot more than humans.

Doodlebug: It was all part of the Great Creator’s plan.

Sweetie: Yes, He wanted us to rule the world with our noses.

Me: No, I’m for sure and certain it wasn’t for that.

MoonCat: In the great list of superpowers, I don’t see bulldog noses even near the top of the list.

©️ 2025.H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Noses Are For Breathing – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Sweetie, what is sticking out of your nose?

Sweetie: I don’t know. A stick?

Me: Hold still. Yuck. How did that get in there?

Sweetie: I don’t know. Someone put it there.

Me: Yes. Someone named Sweetie. We do not pick up sticks with our noses.

Sweetie: It was just a little one. Now you’re blaming me for having a stick in my own nose. How rude!

Me: Noses are for breathing. Not for jamming things into. Take it easy when you go nasal exploring.

Sweetie: I’ll consider it.

MoonCat: Too little, too late.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Problem? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I’m taking this.

Doodlebug: Out of my way. Leave something for me. This! This is perfect.

Sweetie: Leave the small stuff.

Me: Hold on just a minute!

Sweetie: Okay.

Me: How did y’all…who opened the door to the clothes dryer?

Doodlebug: No one will ever know.

Sweetie: Problem?

Me: Yes. Those are my freshly washed clothes. Well, they were. You’ve never done this before. It’s like you’re trying to invent problems.

MoonCat: And succeeding quite well.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Who? Me? – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Okay. Who made this mess?

Doodlebug: Let me see it. Hmmm. Doesn’t look like one of my messes. May I lick it up?

Me: No, sir. Sweetie?

Sweetie: The snail did it.

Me: This is not a snail trail.

Sweetie: Well, of course, it would deny it. Or blame some innocent bulldog.

MoonCat: Innocent bulldog? A mythological creature that never existed.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Bathroom Just for Us – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, Tall Man has brought a monster dirt-sucking machine inside and it sounds horrible.

Me: Yeah, but not for long. He is doing a huge renovation on the main bathroom. That means it will be like new.

Sweetie: A new bathroom just for us! Great!

Doodlebug: I can’t believe it! Our own bathroom!

Me: Well now, it’s not for y’all…

Sweetie: I’ve waited my whole life…

MoonCat: Sharing a bathroom with bulldogs has never been on my list of things to do. It still isn’t.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Keep Your Mess at Home – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, someone has slimed the floor and, for once, it wasn’t me.

Me: That’s from a snail. Look, it’s squeezed back outside.

Doodlebug: Where does it live?

Me: In that big shell on its back.

Sweetie: A house on its back. Well, keep your slime in your own house and stay out of ours!

MoonCat: Snails sliming the place at night? The old “sleep with one eye open” rule still holds true. Don’t get slimed.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Sneaky Human Problem – Part 2 – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: The problem with sneaky humans is you can’t live with them and you can’t live without them. You know, treats and food and water and a roof and blankets…

Doodlebug: You may even love them. Hey, birdies, what do you do about cold feet in the winter?

Bud and Baby: Eck. Eck. Sit on them. Warm feathers, warm feet.

MoonCat: The most sensible thing I’ve ever heard. What a nice change.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Sneaky Human Problem – Part One – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Aaagghhh! They’re on my feet! I said no shoes! Get them off! Why weren’t y’all watching?

Me: It’s okay! I was just trying them on you to check the fit. Wait. Were you all planning to stop me? Is that why your feet were tucked up tight.

Doodlebug: I guess we were sleeping with both eyes closed.

MoonCat: Not me. I just laid back and watched the whole thing. It was a hoot and a holler, as some humans say.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Sleep with One Eye Open – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I have called this meeting to address a serious problem.

Doodlebug: What do you mean you have called this meeting? I’m the King. I call the meetings.

Sweetie: Too low, too slow! Meeting called! This “doggie” shoe emergency must be dealt with. If we don’t, we might wake up wearing all kinds of human nonsense. Shoes, hats, vests, sweaters, sunglasses and anything else they drape on themselves.

MoonCat: I told you. There is only one solution. Sleep with one eye open. Then, if a human sneaks up with any nonsense, you can get up and walk away. Humans are funny creatures. They get embarrassed when they disturb our sleep. A guilt trip which works to our advantage. Meeting adjourned.

Sweetie: Hey, wait just a minute…

MoonCat: Meeting. Adjourned.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Just Try It On – Part 2 Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Run. Run. Run, run, run. Free!

Sweetie: Doodle! Hey! You’re dreaming.

Doodlebug: Aw. It was a great dream until…I was running so fast and, all of a sudden, a big heavy boot grabbed my foot and…What’s that?

Sweetie: Lady Human must have sneaked up while you were asleep and stuck one of those nasty “doggie” shoes on your foot.

MoonCat: Sleep with one eye open. Then that sort of thing won’t happen.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Just Try It On – Part One Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Take that away, Lady Human.

Me: Aw, just try it on. They will keep your feet warm and dry during the winter.

Sweetie: My feet stay warm and dry just fine, thank you, without sticking them in little bags.

Me: But these are doggie shoes.

Sweetie: I see your confusion. You’ve mistaken me for something called a “doggie”. I don’t even know what that is.

Doodlebug: I’ll just go over there and find a place to hide.

Sweetie: Don’t sneak off, Doodle. She’s coming for you next. Lady Human, give those whatever they are to the cat.

MoonCat: My delicate feet were not designed to fit into human contraptions. I respectfully decline.

©️ 2025. H J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Warning! Giant Walking Through! – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What’s going on? Lots of bird yelling!

Bud and Baby: AAACCCKKK! GIANT! GIANT WALKING!

Me: Hey, y’all, no big deal. It’s only Tall Man.

Sweetie: Yeah, you see him every day.

Bud and Baby: NO! A GIANT! TOO BIG!

Doodlebug: No, he’s not too tall. He’s taller than me and you don’t hear me complaining.

MoonCat: No complaints here either. He can get my treats off the top shelf, clear out of the reach of any bulldog.

©️ 2025. H. J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Clean the Floor – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English  Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, what are you doing?

Me: Same as every day. Cleaning spots on the floor.

Sweetie: Wait! That smells interesting. Let me have it.

Me: No, no, no. That is some mess that got tracked in.

Doodlebug: Still interesting. Let me have a look.

Me: Nope! Hey, cut it out. Stop licking the floor!

Sweetie: Just trying to help.

MoonCat: Sane beasts keep their tongues in their mouths. As I do.

Bud and Baby: Click. Click. Click. Floor too clean. Throw seeds around!

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.