I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. And that’s all I have to say.
Me: Maybe you could communicate with Wiggles better than I can.
Wiggles: Let me go outside. I need to pee.
Me: I’m trying to let you out, Wiggles. You are jamming the door. Just step back so I can get it open.
Wiggles: Please let me out.
Me: I’m trying, Wiggles. Step back. Stella, explain it to her. She is blocking the door with her big, wide body.
Stella: Wiggles, your big, wide body is blocking the door. How’s that?
Me: She’s still pressing against the edge of the door.
Wiggles: Pee. Pee. Pee. Pee.
Me: Okay. Listen to me. Move back away from the door.
Wiggles: But I want to go forward.
Me: To do that, you have to take a step or two backward, so I can open the door.
Wiggles: Go back to go forward? What is that? Human sense? Because it makes no sense to me.
Me: We are dealing with physical laws here. Take my word for it. Please.
Wiggles: Oh, all right. There.
Me: See. Now you may go forward.
Wiggles: Yay! If you had just opened the door earlier, I could have already been done. Physical laws indeed! More human nonsense.
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.