Even a little puff of fresh air can open your ears.
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Welcome to Simpleton – A Puff of Fresh Air
Hiding Space – Conversations with Stella and Moon the Cat
I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. SHHHHH!!!! Don’t say anything! Maybe she won’t find me. Hiding is hard when you are shaped like a four-legged, 50-pound tank. I’ll squeeze back here. Nope. That won’t work. My back half is sticking out. If I can avoid her long enough, maybe she’ll forget about me, and then the danger will pass. I can squeeze behind the couch. Hey! Cat! Move it! Bulldog coming through! Make way! What do you mean ‘meow’? Hiss!!! How about that? Does that get your attention?
Me: Stella! Hey, Stella! Come here, girl. Just for a minute.
Stella: Just for a minute. Huh. A likely story. I can smell it. She forgets I have a dog’s nose. A poor thing, but my own, and it serves me at times like these. If I can just…scrunch down…a little bit more…I can wait out the threat back here.
Moon the Cat: Meooww.
Stella: SHHHHH!!!! Whisper!!! Don’t you understand anything? She’s got that bottle of sour-scented water in her hand.
Me: Stellaaaa!
Moon the Cat: Meooowww.
Stella: SHHHHH!!!!
Moon the Cat: Why don’t you want her to take care of your ears?
Stella: What? You speak my language? Why haven’t you done this before?
Moon the Cat: Bulldoggese is a difficult tongue for a cat. Very rough. It beats up my mouth. Why don’t you learn my language instead?
Stella: A preposterous notion. The very idea!
Me: Oh, Stella, there you are. Come here. Just for a minute.
Stella: No. No! No!!! Now see what you’ve done, Cat!
Moon the Cat: I helped you find the Lady Human. You are welcome.
Me: It won’t take a second and you know it makes your ears feel better, Stella. There. That’s one ear. Now for the other.
Stella: Eeeggghhh. Eeeggghhh! Eeeggghhh!!
Me: You see. All done. Until next time.
Stella: Until next time. Destroyer of hope.
Me: What’s better? To suffer the itch and pain of ear infections or to take arms against them and, by opposing, end them.
Stella: You made that up. Strange words from someone who does not put drops of sour water into her own ears.
Me: Thank you, Moon, for alerting me to Stella’s whereabouts.
Moon the Cat: Glad to have been of help. Not really. Meow.
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Open Your Ears – Conversations with Stella
I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Now hear this!
Me: Okay…I am listening…Now hear what?
Stella: I don’t know. Do you hear anything?
Me: I hear you. I hear Tiger snoring. I hear the air conditioner running – I wish I didn’t. It is only early spring. I hear Moon the Cat purring. I hear Snoopey whining because Moon is talking to her. Don’t you hear all of that?
Stella: Yes. But…
Me: Do you need your ears cleaned out again?
Stella: NOOOO! NO! NO! NO! I am fine. I can hear everything. Lalalalala! You see. I heard that!
Me: Oh, come on, Stella. It’s not that big a deal. I have to clean my ears. Everybody has to every once in a while.
Stella: My ears are fine. See how cute they are, all wrinkled and tucked in. No ear issues here.
Me: Look, I only have to wipe them out with this soft cloth and…
Stella: Aaaachhh! Aaaaggghh! Aaaaahhhh. Awwwww. Okay. Well, that’s better. Mmmmm.
Me: See, you make a big deal out of nothing.
Stella: My ears are a big deal.
Me: You should take care of them then.
Stella: No, YOU should take care of them then.
Me: Hey, I am trying to, but I am getting serious resistance.
Stella: Resistance from whom?
Me: Stella! From you!
Stella: What? That was not resistance. That was me being bulldoggy. When are you going to accept that I am a bulldog and I will act like a bulldog all the time? Let me be me.
Me: Okay. And let me be me.
Stella: What?
Me: Let me clean your ears without a fight.
Stella: Nope. Not possible. That would be wrong, plain wrong.
Me: even if I talk like this
Stella: What? What are you saying? I can’t hear…oh, clever. Whispering. Trying to make me think my ears are clogged.
Me: Keep your ears open, Stella. We all need to hear what is going on.
Stella: Are you going to clean my nose out next?
Me: If you need me to…
Stella: NOOOO! Nose is fine!
Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 