To keep sky water from falling on your head, wear a bigger hat.
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Welcome to Simpleton – Wear a Bigger Hat
The Earth under Our Feet – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Look! Look! See!
Me: See what? Where?
Sweetie: The ground! It’s back! Right where it belongs.
Me: You mean the snow is pretty much gone.
Sweetie: And the earth has returned.
MoonCat: Oh my! Bulldogs. I give up.
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Cold, White, Wet, and Weird! – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human! Help! It is awful! And cold! And white! And wet! And weird! And it’s falling from the sky!
Me: It’s snow.
Doodlebug: Why?
Me: Conditions just got right and there it is. Snow.
Sweetie: Make it stop.
Me: It’ll do that soon enough on it’s own.
Sweetie: NO! NOW!
MoonCat: Calm down, silly bully. Do what sane animals like cats do. Take a nap.
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
COLD! – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: You look disgruntled, boy.
Doodlebug: If disgruntled is the human word for COLD, then I am DISGRUNTLED!
Sweetie: It’s just another case of the humans not managing things very well.
MoonCat: Oh, dogs, dogs, dogs. Get snuggled down in your blankets and cushions. Tuck your chunky bulldog paws under you. Then bury your gigantic noses in a pillow. Simply compensate for human mismanagement
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
It’s Rude to Stare – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Don’t look now, but the beady eyed birds are staring.
Doodlebug: At what?
Sweetie: I said don’t look!
Me: Why are you all agitated?
Doodlebug: Sweetie thinks the little budgies are staring at us.
Me: Well, apparently they are.
Sweetie: They’re invading our space with their eyeballs.
MoonCat: I don’t mind. When someone stares at me, it just means that they’re admitting the truth. I’m good to look at.
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Thinking – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: How come you’re so quiet, Lady Human?
Me: I’m just thinking.
Doodlebug: Uh-oh.
MoonCat: A human thinking. Never a good thing. Hide!
Me: No, nothing bad. It’s just another holiday. New Year’s.
Sweetie: Where is its tree?
Me: New Year’s doesn’t get its own tree.
Doodlebug: Poor New Year’s. What does it get?
Me: Some people party. Some people cook a bunch of food. Some people shoot off fireworks. And some people like me are just quiet and think a lot. About the past. About the future.
Sweetie: About the food? Where are those food people? Let’s go New Year with them!
Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Why is There a Tree in Our House? – Conversations with Doodlebug and Sweetie
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, someone has made a mistake and brought a dead tree into our house.
Sweetie: No, they did it on purpose. They do this all the time.
Me: Not really. Just once a year. It’s Christmas.
Doodlebug: Did you bring it inside so the little birds could play on it?
Sweetie: Did you bring it in so it wouldn’t get wet and cold?
Me: No, it’s a traditional decoration for Christmas. You’ve seen them before. Not a big deal.
Sweetie: Uh, a tree in our house? Looks like a big deal to me.
Doodlebug: So if it keeps raining, can I just hike my leg and…
Me and Sweetie: NO!
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Welcome to Simpleton – Entangled
Watch where you step. I do.
Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Welcome to Simpleton – Centerpiece
I always knew I was!
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
A Bulldog Thank You – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lots of human food, Lady Human.
Me: Yep. Thanksgiving is food heavy. But it’s really about thanking the Great Creator of All for every good thing.
Sweetie: Like food.
Me: Yep.
MoonCat: And soft pillows.
Me: Yep.
Doodlebug: And not having to pee in the rain.
Sweetie: That one is at the top of every bulldog’s “thankful for” list.
Me: It’s pretty high up there on my “thankful for” list, too.
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Good Ole Days – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: What happened, Lady Human?
Me: What happened to what?
MoonCat: Don’t get her started, ma’am. You know these questions never make sense.
Sweetie: What happened to all the good ole days?
MoonCat: I warned you.
Doodlebug: Sweetie’s just bored.
Sweetie: I never used to be bored back in the good ole days.
Me: Why can’t these be the good new days?
Sweetie: You tell me, Lady Human. You’re the one in charge of entertainment.
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Fix It – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, there is a problem.
Me: There usually is somewhere.
Sweetie: My big blue chair is leaning. My back half is lower than my front half.
MoonCat: Isn’t that always the case?
Me: Well, the wooden frame under the chair has cracked clean in two so that side is down on the floor.
Sweetie: Well, fix it.
Me: Is it that big a problem?
Doodlebug: Not for me. I don’t use it.
MoonCat: Maybe if someone weren’t so heavy on the back side…
Sweetie: Hey, don’t call Lady Human fat!
MoonCat: Hmmm. Was that what I meant?
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Monsters – Conversations with the Parakeet Pack
Me: So how are y’all doing?
Bud: Eeeeek! Eeek! Eek!
Baby: EEEKK!!!
Me: Okay…still losing a bunch in translation here. Was that a happy eek? Or an angry eek? or…
Bud: Monsters!
Baby: Uh-huh. Yep!
Me: Do you mean the bulldogs and the cat?
Bud: Eeek! Chirp. Sharp mouth things.
Baby: Yep. Monsters with sharp mouth things.
Me: You mean teeth. Yeah. But they won’t hurt you. They can’t get to you. I know they’re big and take some getting used to.
Bud: Don’t get used to monsters.
Baby: Yep. Never get used to monsters. Bad idea. Chirp. But thank you for the millet spray. Chirp. Good idea.
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Bulldogs Do It Right – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, aren’t you glad?
Me: Glad about what?
Sweetie: Having bulldogs around you all the time.
Me: Well, yeah! Y’all are great.
Doodlebug: Why?
Me: Don’t you know?
Doodlebug: We know we’re great at everything.
MoonCat: Oh, dear, here we go again.
Me: Are you good at swimming?
Sweetie: No, leave that one off the list. It doesn’t count. We were thinking about snoring and eating and drooling and…
Doodlebug: And sleeping and snorting and all the stuff that really counts. You know.
Me: Oh, all that stuff.
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Dozers – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Yawn!
Sweetie: Lady Human, may we please proceed with our latest nap?
Me: Well, yeah, sure. But it is still daylight. Don’t you want to. .
Doodlebug: Sleep? Yep.
Sweetie: Snooze? Yessiree!
MoonCat: Oh my word! Just get on with it then. No bulldog gum flapping necessary.
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Beady Little Eyes – Conversations with Doodlebug & Sweetie
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: They’re doing it again, Lady Human. Those tiny birds are staring at us.
Me: Maybe you’re fun to stare at.
Doodlebug: How can they see anything with those beady little eyes?
Sweetie: They need to get big ole bulldog eyes like ours.
Me: A bulldog eye would be bigger than a parakeet’s entire head.
Doodlebug: Ooooo! Great!
Sweetie: Yeah! Cool! I vote for that!
Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Speak Plainer – Part 2 Conversations with the Big Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. They are staring at me, Lady Human, and making their squeaky sounds. I think they don’t like me.
Sweetie: Hey, Parakeets! Nobody understands your teensy little squeaks! What are you talking about?
Me: Here, let’s try this. Here’s a little piece of fresh banana. Look how they’ve calmed down, just by smelling it.
Doodlebug: Oh, me, me, me! A chunk, please.
Sweetie: Don’t leave me out! Mmmm.
MoonCat: I’ll pass, thank you. Seafood will do for me.
Sweetie: Oh, this is great. Now we’re banana buddies with the birds. I still can’t understand them, but at least we share banana breath.
Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Good Vibrations – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. (Snore)
Sweetie: Why does Doodlebug snore so loud?
MoonCat: A question to which we all want the answer.
Me: Vibrations. He breathes through a narrow place in his nose and throat and the vibrations produce sound.
Sweetie: It’s so loud. I’m glad I don’t do that.
MoonCat: Hah!
Me: Actually you do. And I don’t mind. It means you’re breathing.
Doodlebug: Huh? What? Breathing in and out? Okay. I can do that. Good.
Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Speak Plainer – Part 1 Conversations with the Big Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Look at me, birds!
Me: Look at that! They turned their heads!
Sweetie: Talk to me! What are their names, Lady Human?
Me: That tall one I call “Bud” and the smaller one I call “Baby”. For now. I may change that later.
Doodlebug: I’m glad you didn’t name me that. “Doodlebug” is just fine.
Sweetie: Hey, birds. I can’t understand you! Speak plainer! Why do they keep squeaking, Lady Human?
Me: That’s their dialect, you might say.
Doodlebug: I don’t understand.
Sweetie: I don’t get it.
MoonCat: Why does that not surprise me?
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Vantage Point – Conversations with the Pack
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, how come MoonCat gets to sit way up there, far above us?
Sweetie: Yeah, why can’t we do that?
Me: Good question. Why can’t you do that?
Doodlebug: We’re too big?
Sweetie: We’re too heavy?
Me: Both good guesses.
Sweetie: But why would she even want to get that high above us?
MoonCat: The better to see you all, my dears.
Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 