I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Sit down, Lady Human. Take a load off.
Me: Just one more thing.
Doodlebug: Yeah, take a load off. A load off of what?
Sweetie: Her feet. She’s only got two of them. And, I mean, look at her. Would you want to carry all that on only two feet?
MoonCat: Oh, my.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: The problem with sneaky humans is you can’t live with them and you can’t live without them. You know, treats and food and water and a roof and blankets…
Doodlebug: You may even love them. Hey, birdies, what do you do about cold feet in the winter?
Bud and Baby: Eck. Eck. Sit on them. Warm feathers, warm feet.
MoonCat: The most sensible thing I’ve ever heard. What a nice change.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Owwww!
Sweetie: Lady Human, what is all that noise?
Me: You’re standing on my foot!
Sweetie: Oh, big deal!
Me: Yeah, big deal! You’re not exactly a featherweight.
Doodlebug: Here! Let me try. See if I’m a featherweight.
Me: Stop! I already know. You’re not.
MoonCat: And everybody wonders why I keep my paws tucked up under me all the time. Simple self defense.
©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Mmmm. Do you clean your feet like this?
Me: By licking them? Certainly not!
Sweetie: Lady Human, I was talking to MoonCat. She has way more feet than you. I don’t expect humans to know how to do things the proper way.
MoonCat: Meow. Your feet are bigger than mine, bulldog. I clean mine from the tops and sides first, but never before eating.
Doodlebug: Only after dinner then.
MoonCat: Yes, King Bulldog. Licking my feet before eating would be vulgar.
Me: Yeah, I can see that. All that loose hair and cat litter and stuff.
MoonCat: Clean your human feet as you wish to, ma’am, and we will clean ours in our own way.
Sweetie: Humans don’t understand the pressure of taking care of more than two feet at a time, MoonCat.
MoonCat: It is a lot of work, but it gives us so much more to talk about during social hour.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human! She’s done it again!
Me: Who’s done what again? Oh, Sweetie! Your water bowl!
Sweetie: What’s wrong?
Me: Your water bowl is muddy and almost empty. Again.
Sweetie: My toesies were hot and my water bowl was just sitting there, doing nothing, so I gave myself a foot bath.
MoonCat: I give myself foot baths all the time, but I’m smart. I use my tongue.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 