Parakeet Hair – Conversation with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I must file another complaint, Lady Human.

Me: Oh, must you? And we have an official file now?

Sweetie: Yes, you always say keep everything in good order.

MoonCat: And good order would apply to a bulldog how?

Sweetie: The parakeets are shedding hair all over the place.

Me: Parakeets don’t have hair to shed.

Doodlebug: But there’s all this fluff here.

Me: Feathers. And what’s all this fluff here? Looks like…bulldog hair!

MoonCat: As usual, fluff and nonsense.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

How Come Parakeets Can’t Talk Normal? – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, there’s a lot of nonsense squeaking out of the parakeets’ mouths.

Bud and Baby: Eeek. Eeek. Eeek.

MoonCat: Utter nonsense, therefore, right down a bulldog’s alley.

©️ 2025.H.J.Hill.All Rights Reserved.

Beware Big Picture Boxes – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Do something, Lady Human!

Me: Do something about what? A little more detail, please.

Sweetie: That! Aaaggghhh!

MoonCat: Yes, that scary monster bug showed up on the Big Picture Box and someone found it very disturbing.

Doodlebug: If it comes over here, one swipe of my huge hairy bulldog paw will take care of that. No problem.

Me: It’s not going anywhere. It’s on the TV screen.

Sweetie: Why?

Me: Somebody thought it was interesting.

Sweetie: Typical human foolishness. Lady Human, do you want something like that in the house?

Me: No.

Sweetie: Then why have a giant picture of it in the house?

MoonCat: True. One cannot even eat it.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Disorderly Conduct Part 2 – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Point of disorder, Lady Human! MoonCat is lounging in my sleeping space!

MoonCat: Point of order, ma’am! I am lounging in my sleeping space.

Me: I have seen you both lounging in that space at the same time.

Doodlebug: Double point of disorder! It is my sleeping space. Let me in there.

Me: Doodle, never have I seen you in that space.

Doodlebug: I am the King. I am claiming this space. Plus I’m bigger than everybody else. So there!

MoonCat: Does bulldog disorder never end?

Me: Apparently not.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Put a Sock in It! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Ahh-oooo! Ahh-ooo!

Me: Sweetie, what in the world are you howling at?

Sweetie: I’m telling the loud chicken to put a sock in it!

Me: I think you mean the rooster.

Sweetie: I think I mean the loud chicken that keeps yelling at the sky!

Me: Yeah, that’s a rooster. Crowing is his thing.

Doodlebug: Pretty soon, he’s going to find out what real crowing sounds like, bulldog-style!

Sweetie: Ahhh-oooo-oooo! Some roosters don’t know when to shut up!

MoonCat:  So says the crowing bulldog.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Ordinary Days – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What special thing is happening today, Lady Human?

Me: Uh…nothing that I know of.

Doodlebug: But you are in charge! Haven’t you scheduled anything special?

Me: Uh…not that I know of. Oh, and that notion that I am in charge of everything that happens? I thought we had that straightened out. I’m not!

Sweetie: Well, that’s inconvenient.

Doodlebug: So what kind of day is this?

Me: I don’t know. An ordinary one? Maybe?

Sweetie: Boring!

Me: Boring can be good.

MoonCat: Ordinary? Boring? With no special bulldog nonsense? Sounds restful. Pardon me while I nap.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

KING! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: So what?

Me: Settle down, girl.

Sweetie: I mean it, Lady Human. How come he gets to run his big floppy mouth about being king, whatever that means.

Me: Everybody’s got opinions.

Doodlebug: My being King is not an opinion, ma’am. It’s fact!

Me: Okay, what does it mean to be a king?

Doodlebug: Well…just what it says. A king is…A king gets to…

Sweetie: You see! He doesn’t even know. Well, guess what? I’m the King, too! So there!

MoonCat: So what?

Me: I think we’re going to have to ponder this a little more.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All RightsvReserved.

A Toe Stompin’ Good Time – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Owwww!

Sweetie: Lady Human, what is all that noise?

Me: You’re standing on my foot!

Sweetie: Oh, big deal!

Me: Yeah, big deal! You’re not exactly a featherweight.

Doodlebug: Here! Let me try. See if I’m a featherweight.

Me: Stop! I already know. You’re not.

MoonCat: And everybody wonders why I keep my paws tucked up under me all the time. Simple self defense.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Step Back! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Do you see where I am standing?

Sweetie: I see. I just don’t care. My feet belong where they are. Everybody else, take your feet away! Lady Human, back me up here.

Me: I’m just trying to move from Point A to Point B without tripping. I’ve got no dog in this fight.

Doodlebug: Uh, excuse me, ma’am, but you have two dogs in this fight. Clear passageways are important.

MoonCat: Bulldogs never know what’s really important. My cushion. My bowls. My places. Me. I’m important. I thought everybody knew that by now.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Bulldog of Plants – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, those big green spiky plants have grown again.

Me: Yeah, the cactus leaves have really gotten big this year.

Sweetie: And spiky. Don’t forget spiky.

Doodlebug: With big ole flowers.

Sweetie: And spikes.

MoonCat: Spikes don’t bother me because I don’t stick my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Me: Yeah, the spikes tend to keep trespassers cautious.

Sweetie: Ah, cactus – the bulldog of plants.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Grilling Days – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What is that wonderful aroma floating on the air? Wait! I know!

Sweetie: No! I know it first! It’s meat cooking outside. It’s a grilling day! And about time, too!

Me: Well, someone is grilling, but it’s not us.

Sweetie: Whatever do you mean, Lady Human? Why in the world not?

Me: Barbecue grilling isn’t the only grilling going on outside today. Or didn’t you notice the heat?

MoonCat: Just keep the icy air box going, ma’am, and bring on the nice cold tunafish.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Forward! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Those strange humans are back on our street, Lady Human!

Sweetie: Yeah, listen to all that noise! Let’s go!

Doodlebug: Yeah, let’s go chase ’em off!

Sweetie: BULLDOG CHARGE!

Me: Hold on just a second! Those are the trash collector people. The noise is from their big trucks. You don’t want to chase them off!

Sweetie: Who told them they could come snatch our trash away?

Doodlebug: Yeah! We may need that stuff someday…sometime…maybe.

Sweetie: If it doesn’t smell too bad. Save the garbage!

MoonCat: I think I’ll just find a nice out of the way spot where no one will see me. Best way to avoid nonsense.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Let an Expert Take Charge! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Something must be done and I am just the one to do it!

Me: Do what?

Doodlebug: It better not involve my food.

Me: Just what are you going to do, Sweetie?

Sweetie: You’ll know it when you see it.

Me: I still don’t understand…

Sweetie: Stand aside, please. Coming through.

MoonCat: Once again, welcome to the inexplicable world of bulldogges.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Grumble Dogs – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Errrrrr…

Sweetie: Errrrrr yourself! My errrrrr is better than your errrrrr. You just sound like wah, wah, wah…

Doodlebug: Says who?

Sweetie: Says ME, that’s WHO!

Me: What’s all the noise about?

MoonCat: Nothing important enough to wake me from my nap, that’s what!

Sweetie: Where’s my snack? And where has the sun gone? How can I sunbathe without a sun to bathe in?

Doodlebug: And when it going to stop raining? Stupid sky!

Me: Anything else y’all want to complain about? No, forget I said that.

Sweetie: As a matter of fact…

Doodlebug: Don’t get me started.

Me: Too late for that apparently.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Parakeet Dictionary – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I’m confused.

MoonCat: Is that new and unusual?

Me: What’s the confusion?

Sweetie: Those chattering birds.

Me: The parakeets.

Sweetie: Whatever. I need a word book to understand them.

Me: Like a dictionary?

Doodlebug: Like a “this means this” and “that means that” book, because they make no sense at all and they only talk birdy talk all the time.

MoonCat: Excuse me, please, while I spend my day in a worthwhile pursuit – naptime.

Doodlebug: Start pencil scratching, Lady Human. First word: “Ack”. Always said in a loud voice.

Me: Well, I’m not sure, but it seems to mean they’re excited.

Sweetie: ACK!

Me: Oh, that’s way loud!

Sweetie: I’m bulldog excited! Okay, keep writing! Next word…

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Everything Not Nailed Down – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: The wind, Lady Human! The wind.

Me: Yeah, when I was a kid, we used to say that winds like this were likely to carry off anything not nailed down.

Doodlebug: It’s about to carry me off! Nail me down!

Bud: Nail. Nail.

Me: Don’t worry. Y’all are safe inside.

MoonCat: Good. Fussing time is naptime for me. Good night.

Sweetie:  Nail me down, Lady Human, so I don’t blow away! I’m not that chubby! Really I’m not!

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Sweater Weather – Again – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Hey, y’all. It’s still pretty chilly. Here, Sweetie, try on this sweater I crocheted. Doodle, I have some more sweaters you can try…

Doodlebug: Nope.

Me: Well, go ahead and try this one, Sweetie.

Sweetie: Nope.

Me: It’s plenty big and nice and warm…

Sweetie: Nope.

Me: Okay, Doodlebug. You go ahead and…

Doodlebug: Noooooo.

Me: Come on, y’all.

Sweetie: Let me spell this like the humans do. NO!

Me: In that case, MoonCat…

MoonCat: Don’t even look in my direction.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Earth under Our Feet – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Look! Look! See!

Me: See what? Where?

Sweetie: The ground! It’s back! Right where it belongs.

Me: You mean the snow is pretty much gone.

Sweetie: And the earth has returned.

MoonCat: Oh my! Bulldogs. I give up.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Cold, White, Wet, and Weird! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human! Help! It is awful! And cold! And white! And wet! And weird! And it’s falling from the sky!

Me: It’s snow.

Doodlebug: Why?

Me: Conditions just got right and there it is. Snow.

Sweetie: Make it stop.

Me: It’ll do that soon enough on it’s own.

Sweetie: NO! NOW!

MoonCat: Calm down, silly bully. Do what sane animals like cats do. Take a nap.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

COLD! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: You look disgruntled, boy.

Doodlebug: If disgruntled is the human word for COLD, then I am DISGRUNTLED!

Sweetie: It’s just another case of the humans not managing things very well.

MoonCat: Oh, dogs, dogs, dogs. Get snuggled down in your blankets and cushions. Tuck your chunky bulldog paws under you. Then bury your gigantic noses in a pillow. Simply compensate for human mismanagement

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.