Predator vs. Prey, Sort Of – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Aaagghhh! It’s back!

Me: What now?

Sweetie: The Big Picture Box and its BUG!

Me: Okay, that’s it. I’m turning it off.

Doodlebug: You can turn off a bug? Cool!

Me: Sweetie, what would you do if there were a real bug in the house, instead of just a TV picture of a bug?

Sweetie: Run! Hide! Climb up on something high!

MoonCat: Oh, you big strong bulldog. You really have no working concept of predator and prey, do you?

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Parakeet Hair – Conversation with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I must file another complaint, Lady Human.

Me: Oh, must you? And we have an official file now?

Sweetie: Yes, you always say keep everything in good order.

MoonCat: And good order would apply to a bulldog how?

Sweetie: The parakeets are shedding hair all over the place.

Me: Parakeets don’t have hair to shed.

Doodlebug: But there’s all this fluff here.

Me: Feathers. And what’s all this fluff here? Looks like…bulldog hair!

MoonCat: As usual, fluff and nonsense.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

How Come Parakeets Can’t Talk Normal? – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, there’s a lot of nonsense squeaking out of the parakeets’ mouths.

Bud and Baby: Eeek. Eeek. Eeek.

MoonCat: Utter nonsense, therefore, right down a bulldog’s alley.

©️ 2025.H.J.Hill.All Rights Reserved.

Beware Big Picture Boxes – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Do something, Lady Human!

Me: Do something about what? A little more detail, please.

Sweetie: That! Aaaggghhh!

MoonCat: Yes, that scary monster bug showed up on the Big Picture Box and someone found it very disturbing.

Doodlebug: If it comes over here, one swipe of my huge hairy bulldog paw will take care of that. No problem.

Me: It’s not going anywhere. It’s on the TV screen.

Sweetie: Why?

Me: Somebody thought it was interesting.

Sweetie: Typical human foolishness. Lady Human, do you want something like that in the house?

Me: No.

Sweetie: Then why have a giant picture of it in the house?

MoonCat: True. One cannot even eat it.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Disorderly Conduct Part 2 – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Point of disorder, Lady Human! MoonCat is lounging in my sleeping space!

MoonCat: Point of order, ma’am! I am lounging in my sleeping space.

Me: I have seen you both lounging in that space at the same time.

Doodlebug: Double point of disorder! It is my sleeping space. Let me in there.

Me: Doodle, never have I seen you in that space.

Doodlebug: I am the King. I am claiming this space. Plus I’m bigger than everybody else. So there!

MoonCat: Does bulldog disorder never end?

Me: Apparently not.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

My Turn – Conversations with Sweetie and Doodlebug

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Get in line, Sweetie!

Sweetie: I am in line. The head of the line. My proper place.

Doodlebug: How can that be so when I am the King?

Sweetie: Good question! Maybe because you named yourself king without the proper credentials.

Me: I’m hearing the word ‘proper’ a lot.

Doodlebug: It’s my turn!! Sweetie would not know ‘proper’ if it flew up and bounced off her nose.

Me: I’d like to see what that would look like. What does ‘proper’ look like anyway?

Sweetie: It looks like ME having MY turn RIGHT NOW!

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Put a Sock in It! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Ahh-oooo! Ahh-ooo!

Me: Sweetie, what in the world are you howling at?

Sweetie: I’m telling the loud chicken to put a sock in it!

Me: I think you mean the rooster.

Sweetie: I think I mean the loud chicken that keeps yelling at the sky!

Me: Yeah, that’s a rooster. Crowing is his thing.

Doodlebug: Pretty soon, he’s going to find out what real crowing sounds like, bulldog-style!

Sweetie: Ahhh-oooo-oooo! Some roosters don’t know when to shut up!

MoonCat:  So says the crowing bulldog.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Ordinary Days – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What special thing is happening today, Lady Human?

Me: Uh…nothing that I know of.

Doodlebug: But you are in charge! Haven’t you scheduled anything special?

Me: Uh…not that I know of. Oh, and that notion that I am in charge of everything that happens? I thought we had that straightened out. I’m not!

Sweetie: Well, that’s inconvenient.

Doodlebug: So what kind of day is this?

Me: I don’t know. An ordinary one? Maybe?

Sweetie: Boring!

Me: Boring can be good.

MoonCat: Ordinary? Boring? With no special bulldog nonsense? Sounds restful. Pardon me while I nap.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

KING! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: So what?

Me: Settle down, girl.

Sweetie: I mean it, Lady Human. How come he gets to run his big floppy mouth about being king, whatever that means.

Me: Everybody’s got opinions.

Doodlebug: My being King is not an opinion, ma’am. It’s fact!

Me: Okay, what does it mean to be a king?

Doodlebug: Well…just what it says. A king is…A king gets to…

Sweetie: You see! He doesn’t even know. Well, guess what? I’m the King, too! So there!

MoonCat: So what?

Me: I think we’re going to have to ponder this a little more.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All RightsvReserved.

A Toe Stompin’ Good Time – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Owwww!

Sweetie: Lady Human, what is all that noise?

Me: You’re standing on my foot!

Sweetie: Oh, big deal!

Me: Yeah, big deal! You’re not exactly a featherweight.

Doodlebug: Here! Let me try. See if I’m a featherweight.

Me: Stop! I already know. You’re not.

MoonCat: And everybody wonders why I keep my paws tucked up under me all the time. Simple self defense.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Step Back! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Do you see where I am standing?

Sweetie: I see. I just don’t care. My feet belong where they are. Everybody else, take your feet away! Lady Human, back me up here.

Me: I’m just trying to move from Point A to Point B without tripping. I’ve got no dog in this fight.

Doodlebug: Uh, excuse me, ma’am, but you have two dogs in this fight. Clear passageways are important.

MoonCat: Bulldogs never know what’s really important. My cushion. My bowls. My places. Me. I’m important. I thought everybody knew that by now.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Bulldog of Plants – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, those big green spiky plants have grown again.

Me: Yeah, the cactus leaves have really gotten big this year.

Sweetie: And spiky. Don’t forget spiky.

Doodlebug: With big ole flowers.

Sweetie: And spikes.

MoonCat: Spikes don’t bother me because I don’t stick my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Me: Yeah, the spikes tend to keep trespassers cautious.

Sweetie: Ah, cactus – the bulldog of plants.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

How to Win a Bulldog Argument – Conversations with Doodlebug and Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Hey, Lady Human, that’s my cushion and it goes over there.

Me: I have to move it against the wall so I won’t trip over it.

Sweetie: I don’t trip over it. Why should you?

Doodlebug: Hey, ma’am, those are my comfy blankets. Bring ’em here!

Me: After they’ve been washed and dried, you can have them back.

Sweetie: I don’t think she knows who’s in charge.

Doodlebug: She seems confused.

Me: I am in charge! Me! And I don’t give up.

Sweetie: Hey, Doodle, she hasn’t been paying attention, has she?

Doodlebug: We’ll wait until she leaves the room.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Grilling Days – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What is that wonderful aroma floating on the air? Wait! I know!

Sweetie: No! I know it first! It’s meat cooking outside. It’s a grilling day! And about time, too!

Me: Well, someone is grilling, but it’s not us.

Sweetie: Whatever do you mean, Lady Human? Why in the world not?

Me: Barbecue grilling isn’t the only grilling going on outside today. Or didn’t you notice the heat?

MoonCat: Just keep the icy air box going, ma’am, and bring on the nice cold tunafish.

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.