Be Reasonable – Conversations with Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

Me: Sweetie, stop!

Sweetie: Stop what?

Me: Think for a second. What are you doing right now?

Sweetie: Talking to you.

Me: Before that.

Sweetie: Minding my own business.

Me: You were chewing on the corner of the plastic box.

Sweetie: Oh, that. That’s just a hobby of mine.

Me: Stop it. Why would you even do that?

Sweetie: Because…fun.

Me: It’s not food. It can’t taste very good. And it could harm you if you swallow any of it. Be reasonable.

Sweetie: Oh, you mean like humans?

Me: We don’t chew on plastic.

Sweetie: No, you just chew on everything else.

Copyright 2024 H. J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Buckets and Mops and Brooms! Oh, My! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: We are under attack! Man your stations! I mean, Dog your stations!

Me: I have never understood this. This is a bucket. This is a mop. This is a broom. What is the problem?

Doodlebug: We are outnumbered!

Sweetie: Yeah, we can’t count on the cat.

MoonCat: Why should I interfere when those things clean up bulldog dirt?

Doodlebug: And I’m not sure which side Lady Human is on.

Sweetie: Look out! That broom thing has swept up some spilled food! Don’t worry! I’ll save you!

Me: Save food by eating it? Okay, I guess.

Sweetie: Y’all can keep that other crumbly stuff.

Doodlebug: Yeah, we’ll arrange to track more in later.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Grumble Faces – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: What’s with all the grumble faces?

Sweetie: Are you calling us ugly?

Me: By no means, but you do look a little serious.

Sweetie: Doodlebug! Maybe now is the time to present her with all our complaints…uh… requests.

MoonCat: Grumble faces? That must be a human and dog problem. I always wear the same face. That way no one can tell what I’m thinking. Keep ’em guessing.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Cardboard Box Domination – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Why is Sweetie so loud, Lady Human?

Me: She is wrestling the big cardboard box into submission.

Sweetie: Grrrrr! Arrgghh! You’re not the boss of me! Grrrrrrrr!

MoonCat: I’ve never seen such a fuss over a cardboard box.

Me: I’ve seen you love lots of boxes in your time.

MoonCat: Yes, but gently, like old friends. Places where I could retreat to solitude and be hidden away from loud, obnoxious bulldogs.

Sweetie: No box gets by with locking me out! Grrrr! Down with those cardboard walls! Arrgghh!

Doodlebug: Well, not a box anymore.

MoonCat: Nope. Just a flat cardboard mess.

Sweetie: All right, Lady Human. When does the next cardboard box delivery get here? I’m ready.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Human Blunders – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Fess up, Lady Human! What did you do today?

Me: Do? I made some macaroni salad and washed your bedding and…

Sweetie: She’s pretending she doesn’t know. What did you do…TO THE SUN?

Me: Oh, that! I didn’t have anything to do with that. That was a total eclipse. Completely out of my control.

Doodlebug: I suppose you’re going to say that the Great Creator took the sun away and made the sky go dark.

Sweetie: When it wasn’t supposed to! Right when I had scheduled my sunbath!

Me: Well, as a matter of fact…

Doodlebug: I’ve heard enough! Humans! Always blaming someone else for the problems they cause.

MoonCat: I don’t understand what all the fuss is about. Your silly sun is back. Besides, darkness is a much more enjoyable time of day. So many places to sneak around and hide in.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Bribery, Trickery, and Deceit – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Okay, what are you up to, Lady Human?

Me: Up to? Whatever do you mean?

Sweetie: I saw you fooling around with our softie food. You hid something in it, didn’t you?

Me: Would I do that?

Doodlebug: Absolutely!

Sweetie: Yes, without question!

MoonCat: Do I even need to answer that?

Me: Don’t you want this wonderful smelling treat? Mmmm! It’s so good. It’s your favorite!

Sweetie: It does smell good.

Doodlebug: It does look good.

MoonCat: Ask the question, bulldogs. What’s the catch?

Sweetie: Is this a bribe?

Doodlebug: Yeah, you want us to do something we wouldn’t do otherwise.

Sweetie: But it does look good.

Doodlebug: And it does smell good. Oh, all right. Give it here.

Sweetie: Mmmm. Is there any more?

Me: Not right now.

MoonCat: You all sold out cheap.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.