I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Pack meeting is hereby called to order.
Tiger: How did this food disaster come about?
Doodlebug: Didn’t you like the softy food we’ve been getting the last few days?
Tiger: It makes my stomach feel bad. I love it.
Miss Sweetie: I love it. Bring on some more.
Wiggles: Didn’t it make you feel bad?
Miss Sweetie: Yes.
Wiggles: And you still want to eat it?
Miss Sweetie: Sure. Watch the humans. They eat stuff that makes them feel bad and they still want it. Humans are always right.
Stella: Objection! Humans are not always right. Lady Human said so. Lady Human is always right.
Me: I wish that were so, Stella girl.
Stella: This is a pack meeting. Lady Human, are you a member of the pack? Because you don’t look like a bulldog.
Me: Sorry.
Tiger: But how did this food disaster come about? We had our good food and then there was hardly any of it left and the softy food got added and we kept waiting and our food was hard to find, and the softy food was wonderful and then we started feeling not so well and…
Stella: Yes, Lady Human, how did the food shortage disaster occur?
Me: Wait. Am I a member of the pack now?
Stella: Consult! (whisper…whisper…whisper) No.
Me: Then I don’t have to answer any of your questions.
Stella: Okay. Hold on. Consult! (whisper…whisper…whisper) All right. You are a pack member…sort of. How did the food shortage disaster occur?
Me: I dispute the use of the word ‘disaster’.
Miss Sweetie: What does ‘dispute’ mean?
Stella: She argues against it.
Tiger: Hey, she is a bulldog pack member.
Stella: It was a disaster for our stomachs.
Wiggles: I still think that the softy food was delicious. Given the choice, I would do it all again.
Me: It is a very good brand. You haven’t had trouble with it before when I have used it in small amounts because I had to hide medicine…okay, too much information.
Doodlebug: You hid medicine in delicious food?
Me: Well, yeah.
Doodlebug: Can I have some hidden medicine now?
Me: I guess your stomachs just can’t handle it in a bigger amount. But the problem is resolved.
Stella: The disaster, you mean.
Me: We have plenty of your yellow bag food for the next couple of weeks. By then, I can talk to the people who make it. They can tell me more places to get it if we need to.
Tiger: Okay.
Wiggles: Good deal.
Doodlebug: Fair enough.
Miss Sweetie: Mmmmm. Food.
Stella: A likely story. Pack meeting adjourned…until the next food disaster.
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