Eat Out of Your Own Bowl – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Whoa! Hold up there, Sweetie! What are you doing with my bowl?

Sweetie: I’m just checking to make sure you aren’t wasting any food. Nope. Looks like you licked it clean. Too bad.

Doodlebug: Everyone keep their noses and mouths in their own bowls. That is a royal order.

MoonCat: Meow. My nose pretty much has to go where my mouth does. Now with your big ole bulldog faces, you all may be able to eat out of more than one bowl at the same time.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Set in Our Ways – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What is that you are doing, Lady Human? What is in your hand?

Me: Well, it’s your food bowl.

Doodlebug: It’s not my food bowl. My food bowl is always over there, ready when I want it.

Sweetie: Yeah, what are you trying to do, ma’am? Confuse us? Leave well enough alone.

Me: His food bowl comes close to getting spilled every time I walk through here.

Doodlebug: Then don’t walk through here. Walk through there.

MoonCat: Meow. Don’t move my food bowl. How will I find it in the dark?

Me: Uh, the same way you find everything else in the dark?

MoonCat: Hmmm. Questionable.

Sweetie: We are set in our ways. If it ain’t fixed, don’t break it.

Me: I think you mean “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”.

Sweetie: That’s what I said.

Doodlebug: We like the way we have things set up. If you go changing the setup, no telling what might happen.

Sweetie: Yeah, Lady Human, we might go changing your set ways. Then where might your food bowl end up.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Where Are Your Food Bowls? – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and I…

Me:        Where are your food bowls?

Stella:    Lady Human, interrupting me while I am addressing my subjects? How RUDE!

Me:        Where are your food bowls?

Stella:    We rearranged a few things.

Me:        Rearranged as in carried off? Have you hidden them?

Stella:    We like them. They make excellent drums.

Me:        I don’t want to have to go in search of them come breakfast time.

Stella:    Sweetie likes to wear hers and sit in it and step in it. Doodlebug is a better drummer though.

Me:        Yes. You are all very versatile. But I need them.

Stella:    No, you don’t. I have seen the sloppy way you humans eat. Round bowls and flat bowls and small bowls and square bowls. You never even have the decency to put your faces down into them. You bring the food up to your mouths with those long metal stabbers and pointy silver pokers.

Me:        I don’t need your bowls for me. I need your bowls for you all. Otherwise, breakfast tomorrow may be delayed.

Stella:    Delayed?

Me:        You don’t want me to pour it on the ground, do you?

Stella:    Food delayed? Everybody, pull in the bowls! Wiggles! Where is your food bowl?

Wiggles:   It was in my way. I moved it.

Stella:    Get it! Doodlebug!

Doodlebug:        Mine was empty so I didn’t need it anymore.

Stella:    No, silly! You need it every day. Tiger?

Tiger:     It’s around here somewhere. Why?

Stella:    Breakfast tomorrow, that’s why. Snoopey?

Snoopey:   I like to eat my food off the floor. It’s neater that way.

Stella:    Aaagggh! Whatever! Sweetie?

Miss Sweetie: Yes?

Stella:    All right, Sweetie, I can see where yours is.

Miss Sweetie:    Where?

Stella:    Really? You are sitting in it.

Miss Sweetie:    No, I’m not.

Stella:    I can see it under you.

Miss Sweetie:    That’s my chair.

Stella:    Bring all bowls forward! Now!

Snoopey:   Where is yours?

Stella:    Never you mind.

Snoopey:   I think it’s under your toys. I think I can get it.

Stella:    Don’t even try. Now who’s stupid for befriending the big purple dinosaur in my crate?

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Right Reserved.