I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Excuse me. What are you doing?
Sweetie: If it is me trying to do something, why do you need to be excused?
Me: I mean, what are you trying to get?
Sweetie: Nothing.
Me: You’re reaching for something.
Sweetie: Who? Me?
Me: What are you…
Sweetie: Got it!
MoonCat: Nothing stays for long out of a bulldog’s grasp. I will give them that.
Sweetie: Now what’s the next thing that’s out of reach?
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: I don’t mind y’all sitting by me, but maybe you could sit a little bit straighter.
Sweetie: Why, Lady Human, we’re just giving you our support.
Me: Well, your support weighs about 160 pounds total and that’s a little more than I can manage.
MoonCat: Hmmm. Squashed by leaning bulldogs. I think I’ll move up to my high-rise apartment.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: I’m going to snuggle right up here by you, Lady Human, and take my nap.
Doodlebug: Me, too.
Me: Is there enough room?
Sweetie: Sure, I’ll just put my front legs on this big artificial pillow. It looks fake, but…
Me: Ow! That’s not a pillow!
Doodlebug: Sure looks like one.
Me: That’s me! That’s my belly.
MoonCat: I have the right to remain silent. In fact, I will remain silent. Anything I say might be used to incriminate me later on.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
” Never underestimate the value of ear plugs in a loud environment.”
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. First, a few words about myself. I am the strongest, biggest bulldog ever…
Sweetie: Who gave you bragging rights? A few words about myself. I happen to be the strongest, smartest bulldog ever…
MoonCat: A few words about myself. Me and braggadocious bulldogs: YAWN!
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: It’s hot, Lady Human. Make it stop.
Me: Be patient. I think you will be pleasantly surprised by morning.
Sweetie: Oh, alright. No more complaining until morning.
MoonCat: That pleasant surprise would be a pleasant surprise.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, I smell a weirdness coming through the kitchen window.
Doodlebug: My nose does, too. It’s a…
Sweetie: It’s not a…
Me: It’s a coyote. It’s climbed the short fence into the side yard.
Sweetie: What’s it after?
Me: The chickens, no doubt, but it can’t reach them.
Doodlebug: No! It can’t have them!
Sweetie: Intruder! Intruder!
Doodlebug: Lady Human, why are you banging on the glass?
Me: Surprise! It thought no one was around. It’s running off now.
Sweetie: Why didn’t you sic us on it? We’re more than a match for…
MoonCat: For a wild dog that has to hunt for its food every day, is spry and underweighs you by half, and has the common sense to leave while it can?
Sweetie: Well, at least we barked.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, how come birds are so loud, louder than anything else, louder than bulldogs?
Me: You mean because of the cacophony we were just treated to from the chickens and the parakeets?
Doodlebug: It doesn’t seem right.
Sweetie: They squawk and yell and cockadoodle-doo for no reason at all.
Doodlebug: And it doesn’t make sense.
MoonCat: Hmmm. Doesn’t seem right and doesn’t make sense. Sounds like some four-legged critters I know.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Hey, what’s all the foot action?
Sweetie: Can’t bulldogs pretend to be marching without a thousand questions?
Me: You’re marching in place? Cute. I’ll bet you learned that from watching the birds march in step up and down their perches.
Bud and Baby: 1 ack, 2 ack, 3 ack, 4 ack.
Doodlebug: 1 ack, 2 ack, 3, ack, 4…
Sweetie: Cut the birdie talk, Doodle. It’s undignified.
Doodlebug: It helps me keep time.
Sweetie: No fair. They copied us.
MoonCat: Let me try a cadence. Bulldogs, about face! March! 1 and 2 and 3 and 4, down the hall and through the door!
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Me: Look, y’all! New crackers! Haven’t had any in a while.
Sweetie: Hold up there, Lady Human. Wrong box. Wrong scent. Those aren’t my brand. Where are the good ones? You know, the cheese ones.
Doodlebug: I don’t care. I’ll take ’em as is. Mmmmm! Crunchy!
Sweetie: Doodle, all your taste is in your mouth. Hold out for the good stuff.
Doodlebug: Of course, all my taste is in my mouth. I can’t taste stuff with my toes.
MoonCat: Good thing, too, with all the stuff your big bulldog feet walk in. Say, Lady Human, how about my brand of snack? Pure tuna, no crackers allowed.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 