A Bulldog Thank You – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lots of human food, Lady Human.

Me: Yep. Thanksgiving is food heavy. But it’s really about thanking the Great Creator of All for every good thing.

Sweetie: Like food.

Me: Yep.

MoonCat: And soft pillows.

Me: Yep.

Doodlebug: And not having to pee in the rain.

Sweetie: That one is at the top of every bulldog’s “thankful for” list.

Me: It’s pretty high up there on my “thankful for” list, too.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Good Ole Days – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What happened, Lady Human?

Me: What happened to what?

MoonCat: Don’t get her started, ma’am. You know these questions never make sense.

Sweetie: What happened to all the good ole days?

MoonCat: I warned you.

Doodlebug: Sweetie’s just bored.

Sweetie: I never used to be bored back in the good ole days.

Me: Why can’t these be the good new days?

Sweetie: You tell me, Lady Human. You’re the one in charge of entertainment.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Fix It – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, there is a problem.

Me: There usually is somewhere.

Sweetie: My big blue chair is leaning. My back half is lower than my front half.

MoonCat: Isn’t that always the case?

Me: Well, the wooden frame under the chair has cracked clean in two so that side is down on the floor.

Sweetie: Well, fix it.

Me: Is it that big a problem?

Doodlebug: Not for me. I don’t use it.

MoonCat: Maybe if someone weren’t so heavy on the back side…

Sweetie: Hey, don’t call Lady Human fat!

MoonCat: Hmmm. Was that what I meant?

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Monsters – Conversations with the Parakeet Pack

Me: So how are y’all doing?

Bud: Eeeeek! Eeek! Eek!

Baby: EEEKK!!!

Me: Okay…still losing a bunch in translation here. Was that a happy eek? Or an angry eek? or…

Bud: Monsters!

Baby: Uh-huh. Yep!

Me: Do you mean the bulldogs and the cat?

Bud: Eeek! Chirp. Sharp mouth things.

Baby: Yep. Monsters with sharp mouth things.

Me: You mean teeth. Yeah. But they won’t hurt you. They can’t get to you. I know they’re big and take some getting used to.

Bud: Don’t get used to monsters.

Baby:  Yep. Never get used to monsters. Bad idea. Chirp. But thank you for the millet spray. Chirp. Good idea.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Bulldogs Do It Right – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, aren’t you glad?

Me: Glad about what?

Sweetie: Having bulldogs around you all the time.

Me: Well, yeah! Y’all are great.

Doodlebug: Why?

Me: Don’t you know?

Doodlebug: We know we’re great at everything.

MoonCat: Oh, dear, here we go again.

Me: Are you good at swimming?

Sweetie: No, leave that one off the list. It doesn’t count. We were thinking about snoring and eating and drooling and…

Doodlebug: And sleeping and snorting and all the stuff that really counts. You know.

Me: Oh, all that stuff.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Dozers – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Yawn!

Sweetie: Lady Human, may we please proceed with our latest nap?

Me: Well, yeah, sure. But it is still daylight. Don’t you want to. .

Doodlebug: Sleep? Yep.

Sweetie: Snooze? Yessiree!

MoonCat: Oh my word! Just get on with it then. No bulldog gum flapping necessary.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Beady Little Eyes – Conversations with Doodlebug & Sweetie

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: They’re doing it again, Lady Human. Those tiny birds are staring at us.

Me: Maybe you’re fun to stare at.

Doodlebug: How can they see anything with those beady little eyes?

Sweetie: They need to get big ole bulldog eyes like ours.

Me: A bulldog eye would be bigger than a parakeet’s entire head.

Doodlebug: Ooooo! Great!

Sweetie: Yeah! Cool! I vote for that!

Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Speak Plainer – Part 2 Conversations with the Big Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. They are staring at me, Lady Human, and making their squeaky sounds. I think they don’t like me.

Sweetie: Hey, Parakeets! Nobody understands your teensy little squeaks! What are you talking about?

Me: Here, let’s try this. Here’s a little piece of fresh banana. Look how they’ve calmed down, just by smelling it.

Doodlebug: Oh, me, me, me! A chunk, please.

Sweetie: Don’t leave me out! Mmmm.

MoonCat: I’ll pass, thank you. Seafood will do for me.

Sweetie: Oh, this is great. Now we’re banana buddies with the birds. I still can’t understand them, but at least we share banana breath.

Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Good Vibrations – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. (Snore)

Sweetie: Why does Doodlebug snore so loud?

MoonCat: A question to which we all want the answer.

Me: Vibrations. He breathes through a narrow place in his nose and throat and the vibrations produce sound.

Sweetie: It’s so loud. I’m glad I don’t do that.

MoonCat: Hah!

Me: Actually you do. And I don’t mind. It means you’re breathing.

Doodlebug: Huh? What? Breathing in and out? Okay. I can do that. Good.

Copyright 2024. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Speak Plainer – Part 1 Conversations with the Big Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Look at me, birds!

Me: Look at that! They turned their heads!

Sweetie: Talk to me! What are their names, Lady Human?

Me: That tall one I call “Bud” and the smaller one I call “Baby”. For now. I may change that later.

Doodlebug: I’m glad you didn’t name me that. “Doodlebug” is just fine.

Sweetie: Hey, birds. I can’t understand you! Speak plainer! Why do they keep squeaking, Lady Human?

Me: That’s their dialect, you might say.

Doodlebug: I don’t understand.

Sweetie: I don’t get it.

MoonCat: Why does that not surprise me?

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Vantage Point – Conversations with the Pack

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, how come MoonCat gets to sit way up there, far above us?

Sweetie: Yeah, why can’t we do that?

Me: Good question. Why can’t you do that?

Doodlebug: We’re too big?

Sweetie: We’re too heavy?

Me: Both good guesses.

Sweetie: But why would she even want to get that high above us?

MoonCat: The better to see you all, my dears.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.