Fun Times – Conversations with Stella and Wiggles

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human and Wiggles went off together by themselves the other day. I have held my peace in patience UNTIL NOW! Where did you go? What did you do? Why were you gone so long?

Me:        And why is any of this your business?

Stella:    Everything having to do with the Pack is my business. I am the Queen. If someone is having fun, I need to know about it so that I can demand equal fun time for me.

Me:        If you must know, Wiggles and I went to the vet the other day.


Stella:    Wrong answer! Visits to the vet never take that long.

Me:        They do when the vet is super busy. Wiggles, where did we go in the car?

Wiggles:   To a place I have been before.

Me:        I know. But what happened there?

Wiggles:   Stuff.

Stella:    I know what you were doing. You were eating ice cream and corny dogs.

Me:        Wiggles, were we eating anything?

Wiggles:   No, there was no eating. I kept waiting and then that nice lady said something about a treat and then nothing like that happened and I was sad.

Me:        What did happen?

Wiggles:   One nice lady poked something into my rear end. That was not a treat. And then another nice lady let a bug bite me.

Me:        That was a rabies vaccination.

Wiggles:   She should not have let that bite me.

Me:        It’s not a bug. It’s a shot with a needle.

Wiggles:   She caught me when I was not looking. Not fair.

Me:        Okay, Stella, does that sound like lots of fun to you?

Stella:    I’m still not sure what was going on.  But I’m sure I smelled corny dog on Wiggles’ breath when she got back.




Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog Life is So Unfair – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella. Hello!

Me:        What? No self-introduction as Queen and Illustrious and Noble and all that.

Stella:    And all that? No, not today. Today I am Stella and that includes all the above. Thank you and good night.

Me:        Wait. You haven’t said anything yet.

Stella:    Oh. Very well. I am a bulldog and life is unfair.

Me:        How so?

Stella:    For example, you ran off on an adventure with Tiger today and none of the rest of us was included. Hmph!

Me:        Tiger scratched her eye and got an infection. She went to the vet.

Stella:    Neeehhh! Wrong answer.

Me:        Pardon me?

Stella:    You are pardoned. You were gone too long for a regular vet visit.

Me:        We went to the bulldog specialist who is farther away and there was heavy traffic both ways.

Stella:    Bulldog specialist? Who is she? Is she the vet that I know?

Me:        No. You have never seen him.

Stella:    What? Am I not a bulldog? Do I not deserve a vet who specializes in bulldogs?

Me:        No. It’s not necessary for ordinary things like vaccinations and checkups.

Stella:    And what do you mean ‘him’? Don’t try to fool me, Lady Human. All vets are female.

Me:        No, just the ones you have seen.

Stella:    What? Nooo! More unfairness. Why is the world so wrong? I know what you did. You took Tiger out to a party and did not invite me.

Me:        No, silly! I took Tiger to the vet and it was no party. Ask Tiger for yourself.

Tiger:     Uhhh. It was no party. I never want to go again.

Me:        You see. No party.

Tiger:     There were all these other dogs, but they were not partying. It was a doctor’s office and it smelled funny.  One of the dogs walked up to me and stuck his nose right in my face. No sniffing  introduction. So rude! And I let him know it, too!

Me:        Yes, you did, Tiger, you were very direct in your disapproval.

Tiger:     He deserved it.

Me:        I am glad that you didn’t make actual contact.

Tiger:     I am going to take a long, long nap now. No party, Stella, no party.

Stella:    Still unfair. I didn’t get a car ride.



Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.