In a Huff – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Sweetie, why are you looking so grumpy dog?

Sweetie: How do the humans put it? I’m in a huff. In a snit. Ticked off. Pissed off. In a word, miffed.

Doodlebug: The humans must get that way a lot. They have so many words for it.

Me:  But how come you’re in a bad mood?

Sweetie: How should I know? I just am! Is that all right with you? Don’t look at me!

Me: Okay. Been there and done that before. Take a nap. And here’s a treat.

MoonCat: Oh, fine! Reward the irritable! At least I have the courtesy to keep my huffiness to myself. Hey! Don’t look at me!

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

You Did It Again – Conversations with Stell

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human has been silly again. She is silly at least once a year, usually at this time they call Christmas.

Me:        I know. I know.

Stella:    But if you know, you know, why do you keep doing it?

Wiggles:   What did she do? What did she do? Did she pee on the carpet?

Me:        No! I never do that! It would not even occur to me.

Wiggles:   It occurs to me every time I walk into the front room.

Snoopey:   It occurs to me in that room, too, but I don’t do it anymore. The humans don’t seem to like it.

Doodlebug:   Self-control. Self-control. Self-control.

Miss Sweetie:   What does that mean, Doodle?

Doodlebug:   I don’t know, but it sounds good and it has something to do with the carpet in the front room.

Tiger:   Why does Lady Human go out every Christmas only to come home too tired to play my jump around game for more than five minutes? Does Christmas mean ‘get tired and sit in a chair’? Because if it does, that’s fine. Just let me know in advance.

Stella:   No, she said something about peace and goodwill. That must mean wearing yourself out and getting grumpy because that’s what she does.

Me:        I don’t intend to, but I catch myself rushing around last minute and getting stuck in traffic and crowds.

Stella:    Because traffic and crowds are so fun, right?

Me:        No, they’re not.

Stella:    Because traffic and crowds are Christmas?

Me:        No, they’re not.

Stella:    Would doing what Christmas really is make you tired and grumpy?

Me:        No, it wouldn’t.

Stella:    Then I would do what Christmas really is if I were you.

Me:        Okay.

Stella:    And I’d be careful walking into the front room. I just saw Wiggles run in there. Merry Christmas!

Me:        Merry Christmas, Stella.

 

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Don’t Push My Buttons – Stella’s Open Letter to the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

To My Pack (and that includes you, Lady Human and Tall Man):

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Now hear this!

Be it Known: Fair Warning: You are pushing my buttons. STOP IT!

Transcriptionist: What are your buttons, Stella?

 Stella:    Well, they are not these little buttons on my belly because when I push them, nothing happens. My real buttons WHICH YOU ALL ARE PUSHING are as follows:

When I am taking a nap in my crate, DON’T VISIT! Don’t come walking by, pushing your smooshy faces up against mine. RUDE!

Another button: Keep your smooshy faces and slobbery mouths off my toys. What part of MINE do you all not understand?

 Transcriptionist: Tall Man and I don’t do those things. Why have we been included in your warning?

 Stella:    Button Number 3: Transcriptionists must be SILENT! Therefore, SILENCE! Consider my button pushed.

 Transcriptionist: You don’t have buttons, Stella. You are just feeling grumpy.

 Stella:    Button Number 4:  Don’t question my buttons.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.