Chewing the Fat – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come you talked into your little hand box so long last night?

Doodlebug: Yeah, you talked and talked. I thought we would never enjoy silence again.

Me: I was chewing the fat with a friend of mine.

Sweetie: Chewing?

Doodlebug: Fat?

Sweetie: Where’s ours? I love fat chewing.

Me: That’s just an expression for talking…

Doodlebug: Another human expression that does not mean what it says.

Sweetie: Teasing us with the dream of chewing fat.

MoonCat: I don’t mind chewing the fat. Just make it short and lean.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

How Come Parakeets Can’t Talk Normal? – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, there’s a lot of nonsense squeaking out of the parakeets’ mouths.

Bud and Baby: Eeek. Eeek. Eeek.

MoonCat: Utter nonsense, therefore, right down a bulldog’s alley.

©️ 2025.H.J.Hill.All Rights Reserved.

The Parakeet Dictionary – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I’m confused.

MoonCat: Is that new and unusual?

Me: What’s the confusion?

Sweetie: Those chattering birds.

Me: The parakeets.

Sweetie: Whatever. I need a word book to understand them.

Me: Like a dictionary?

Doodlebug: Like a “this means this” and “that means that” book, because they make no sense at all and they only talk birdy talk all the time.

MoonCat: Excuse me, please, while I spend my day in a worthwhile pursuit – naptime.

Doodlebug: Start pencil scratching, Lady Human. First word: “Ack”. Always said in a loud voice.

Me: Well, I’m not sure, but it seems to mean they’re excited.

Sweetie: ACK!

Me: Oh, that’s way loud!

Sweetie: I’m bulldog excited! Okay, keep writing! Next word…

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Commenting in Your Sleep – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: How well I know! What’s the problem, boy?

Doodlebug: Problem? What problem? There’s no problem.

Sweetie: She means why are you barking in your sleep?

Doodlebug: I was doing no such thing!

MoonCat: Yes. You were. Admit the truth, bulldog! You all are blabbermouths even when you sleep.

Doodlebug: Well, if I was talking in my sleep, and that’s a big IF, it’s because I had something to say. So…what did I say?

Sweetie: I dunno.

MoonCat: Who cares?

Me: I needed an interpreter.

Doodlebug: It could have been the most important thing ever said and you humans have all these phones and recording dealywhoppers and nobody captured my special comments…

Sweetie: Whoa there, big boy! Let’s not get carried away! Not every burp that you let loose smells like roses.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Too Much Talk – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Sweetie is giving a speech. Again.

Sweetie: Hear ye! Hear ye!

Doodlebug: What does that mean?

Sweetie: I don’t know. I heard it on the humans’ Picture Box.

MoonCat: It doesn’t matter. I’ve already stopped listening.

Sweetie: I am going to exercise my mouth until it gets tired. And I do not tire easily. I am a bulldog.

Me: So you are just going to keep barking for no reason until you decide to stop. Is that it?

Sweetie: And why not? Humans do it all the time. You all complain about dogs barking, but you never shut your own mouths.

Me: Well, I have something to say about that.

Doodlebug: Of course, you do.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.