Old Softies – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Where are they, Lady Human?

Doodlebug: Yeah, I’ve been wondering that, too.

Me: Be a little more specific, guys. Where are what?

Sweetie: My cushy baby blanket – the one you used for your babies way back when, my soft purple dinosaur…

Doodlebug: My blue blanket, my green blanket, my white sleeping pad, my other green blanket, my other blue blanket…

Sweetie: My tiny little blankets that I pile up in the corner, my big blankets that I pile up in the corner…

Me: They are drying. I had to wash them. No choice.

Doodlebug: How can we be expected to survive without our softies?

MoonCat: As usual, cats have the advantage. Find a human. Find the humans’ softest furniture. Presto! Good old softies at your service.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Tight Spaces – Conversations with Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

Me: Sweetie, what do you think you’re doing?

Sweetie: Just trying new things. Look how well I fit in here.

Me: No, you don’t. We’ve talked about this before. There isn’t enough room for you to squeeze your head between that heavy chair and that table. There just isn’t.

Sweetie: Are you calling me fat?

Me: No, I’m calling you what you are. A big-boned bulldog of the English variety, and you can’t fit in any ole tight space you choose.

Sweetie: Watch me! Mmmm…hmmph!

Me: See what I mean?

Sweetie: But if I try hard enough, I should be able to fit anywhere!

Me: Not if it’s physically impossible. And why would you even want to?

Sweetie: It’s a bulldog thing. I’ll just keep trying.

Me: That’s what I was afraid of.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Cozy Chair Supremacy – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. This is not about the Big Blue Chair again, is it?

Sweetie: Everything is about the Big Blue Chair. Unless it’s about something else that I want.

Me: Look. The chair is mine. I don’t mind letting you use it when I’m elsewhere, but we can’t both fit in it at the same time.

Doodlebug: No problem. It’s too tall anyway.

MoonCat: No argument here. It smells like bulldog anyway.

Sweetie: I don’t mind sharing MY chair with you, Lady Human, but you’re going to have to shrink your bottom some to accommodate both of us and I have always first dibs.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

No Halfway – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Let me say at the outset that I never do anything wrong, but if I ever did, I would do it without holding back. Just like Sweetie is doing to Lady Human’s big blue chair.

Me: What? Oh, Sweetie! No!

Sweetie: Hmmm?

Me: The arm of my chair is soaked with your mouth drool! How long have you been licking there? It couldn’t be wetter if someone poured water on it.

Sweetie: Thank you for noticing, Lady Human. Whatever I do, it’s 110% or nothing. No halfway for me.

Doodlebug: And I think with that said, I’m going to take a nap.

MoonCat: Yes. I’m for doing nothing, too.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Don’t Change a Thing – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Something is different. I don’t like it.

Sweetie: My chair! My big blue chair! It was over there where it belongs and now it’s over here where it doesn’t belong.

MoonCat: Meow. Why, oh why, Lady Human?

Me: It’s a small adjustment.

Sweetie: Small nothin’!! I used to be able to walk there. Now I have to move over two steps.

Doodlebug: And there won’t be as much room to track mud into the room now.

MoonCat: But if you are sitting there, Lady Human, you will be closer when I eat and we can talk.

Sweetie: Closer to the cat’s food? Oh, yeah! I see that now. Never mind. Leave it in its new spot. Since it’s my chair anyway, I can help MoonCat with her leftovers.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.