Nitpicking – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you need to put more food in my bowl.

Me: How much more?

Sweetie: Ten more kibble pieces.

Me: That’s very precise. Why ten?

Sweetie: That’s the perfect number. Please don’t skimp.

Doodlebug: And squirt another mouthful of water in my bowl.

Me: Your water bowl is almost brimfull.

Doodlebug: It doesn’t slosh quite right.

Sweetie: And it needs to be 4° warmer in the house.

Doodlebug: It needs to be 3 degrees cooler.

Me: You don’t even know what a degree is.

MoonCat: Ignore them, Lady Human. Everything is just right. Except my pillow could be 2 inches higher and my tunafish snack should really be salmon this time of day.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

A Piece of Advice – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Okay, before y’all take those toys outside, let me give you a piece of advice.

Sweetie: A piece of advice? Why not give us the whole thing? Does advice taste good?

Doodlebug: Yeah. Give us the whole thing. If it’s good tasting, I don’t want just a little piece.

Sweetie: Wait. Is the advice old? I may not want it. How big is the piece?

MoonCat: Lady Human, are you sure there’s enough advice to go around? We wouldn’t want anyone to miss out.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Bar on the Door – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, someone has left a big stick leaning against the door. May I play with it?

Me: No, that stick is not a toy. It’s meant to keep the door shut against the outside world.

Sweetie: Mean ole outside world! Stay outside! Wait. What does “outside world” mean?

Me: All that area beyond the door. All that you see when we ride in the car. Like the park and the highway and…

Doodlebug: The vet.

Sweetie: Yikes! Stay outside, you outside world vet!

MoonCat: And I will stay comfortably inside the barred door.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

I Have an Idea! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I have an idea!

Me: Uh-oh.

Sweetie: No. Not an uh-oh idea. A good idea.

Doodlebug: Okay, I’ll bite. What is it? Not that one where we climb the tall fence and chase the stinky truck.

Sweetie: But there’s all those wonderful smells coming from it!

Doodlebug: Nope. Not happening.

Me: Nope. Bad idea.

MoonCat: Not all ideas are worth pursuing. Especially not stinky ones on wheels.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Crowing Contest – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, Roo-Roo the Rooster is showing off again. I’m throwing a piece of my mind at him.

Me: Don’t throw too much.

Roo-Roo: Cockadoodle Doooo!

Sweetie: Cockadoodle Ruff Ruff right back at you! I win!

Doodlebug: That’s not even good nonsense.

MoonCat: Good nonsense. Sounds like something a bulldog would know all about.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Look What the Snow Left Behind – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, the snow left. It marched off into the night.

Me: It kind of melted more than marched.

Sweetie: And after all that drama, what did it leave us? MUD, that’s what.

Me: It did water the earth. And it was beautiful to look at.

Sweetie: MUD! WONDERFUL, MESSY, STOMPABLE MUD! PLAYTIME!

MoonCat: Where is the nice, clean snow when you need it? Pull out all the foot mats, Lady Human. It’s a muddy bulldog world.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.