Movie Dogs, Please! – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Hello! It has become harder and harder to take an uninterrupted nap around here. Is that too much to ask? I only sleep 18 hours a day…well, maybe 20, and some of that is at night. I can’t get by on less. I need my beauty sleep.

Me:        You can tell time? And I haven’t noticed any nap disruptions.

Stella:    What about last night when Tall Man was working on one of his silly human projects?

Me:        He works late. He has to finish things when he can. And human projects aren’t silly.

Stella:    All human projects are silly unless they have to do with me. Then there is Miss Sweetie, slinging her chew toys around with all their clunkety clunking.

Me:        She loves those toys and besides, her play calms her down so she can sleep.

Stella:    Then there is you.

Me:        Me? I am keeping you from napping?

Stella:    You and your Picture Box.

Me:        I can turn the sound down.

Stella:    It is not most of the sounds. It is one sound. The sound of dogs.

Me:        I would think that you would like to see more dogs on television.

Stella:    See, yes; hear, no. Permit me to say that having dogs show up at random times in movies is ridiculous.

Me:        Why?

Stella:    Have you ever listened to them?

Me:        Yeah, they’re usually barking.

Stella:    Empty noise. They never know their lines. It’s all “What do we do now?” and “What did he say?” and “I’m hungry. Where are the treats? There were treats at rehearsal.”

Me:        It just sounds like barking to me.

Stella:    The movie people need to get a translator.

Me:        I don’t think there are dog translators. Yet.

Stella:    Well then, the movie dogs need their own queen.

Me:        Director.

Stella:    Directors are higher than queens?

Me:        On movie sets, they are.

Stella:    Very well. If I must, in addition to being queen, I will now be Dog Director. Here is my direction. SHUT UP! I need to sleep. Good night.



Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.




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