Stop the Noise! I Can’t Think! – Conversations with Stella

The noise level in the house has increased ten-fold this week. Stella, the Olde English Bulldogge, may be able to shed light on why.

Stella:   Not our fault. Totally falls on the humans’ shoulders. What did you think would happen when you brought a long red pole with a sponge on it into the house? Who can stand such a thing?

Me:        It’s a mop. How are we supposed to mop the floor without a mop?

Stella:   Stick a towel on your feet and skate. I’ve seen you do that before.

Me:        On a small area. Not on the whole floor. And you didn’t just go nuts barking at the mop. Once you got your bucket kicked over, you all were barking at everything.

Stella:   Our barking is a public service. If you don’t want us to bark, don’t bring in strange things that fit on the end of long poles. We hate long, skinny stuff. And don’t bring around strange people either, no matter what shape they are.  We are not partial to strangers. It took us long enough to get used to you and Tall Man.

Me:        Well, with all the barking, I can’t think my way out of a box.

Stella:   Why would you be in a box?

Me:        It means that I can’t think through even simple problems.

Stella:   I am sorry, Lady Human. I am sorry that we are so annoying. We are bulldogs.

Me:        No, don’t be sorry, Stella. If it weren’t for your noise, things would be too quiet around here.

Stella:   As a favor to you, we will stop barking. For today only. Just to make room for your thinking. We don’t want you to be stuck in a box. Tomorrow we will recommence.

Me:        Can’t we make that bark stoppage permanent?

Stella:   Not if you insist on mopping.


Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.




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