The Sneaky Human Problem – Part One – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Aaagghhh! They’re on my feet! I said no shoes! Get them off! Why weren’t y’all watching?

Me: It’s okay! I was just trying them on you to check the fit. Wait. Were you all planning to stop me? Is that why your feet were tucked up tight.

Doodlebug: I guess we were sleeping with both eyes closed.

MoonCat: Not me. I just laid back and watched the whole thing. It was a hoot and a holler, as some humans say.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Sleep with One Eye Open – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: I have called this meeting to address a serious problem.

Doodlebug: What do you mean you have called this meeting? I’m the King. I call the meetings.

Sweetie: Too low, too slow! Meeting called! This “doggie” shoe emergency must be dealt with. If we don’t, we might wake up wearing all kinds of human nonsense. Shoes, hats, vests, sweaters, sunglasses and anything else they drape on themselves.

MoonCat: I told you. There is only one solution. Sleep with one eye open. Then, if a human sneaks up with any nonsense, you can get up and walk away. Humans are funny creatures. They get embarrassed when they disturb our sleep. A guilt trip which works to our advantage. Meeting adjourned.

Sweetie: Hey, wait just a minute…

MoonCat: Meeting. Adjourned.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Just Try It On – Part 2 Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Run. Run. Run, run, run. Free!

Sweetie: Doodle! Hey! You’re dreaming.

Doodlebug: Aw. It was a great dream until…I was running so fast and, all of a sudden, a big heavy boot grabbed my foot and…What’s that?

Sweetie: Lady Human must have sneaked up while you were asleep and stuck one of those nasty “doggie” shoes on your foot.

MoonCat: Sleep with one eye open. Then that sort of thing won’t happen.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Stella’s Blog #7 – Sneaky is as Sneaky Does

Posted on by H.J. Hill

Hello! I am Stella the Olde English Bulldogge a.k.a.Queen Stella. I have to keep reminding everyone about the queen part. Even my humans have a tendency to forget my status.

And now I will jump right into my List of Offenders for the week, as always from the greatest offender to the least:

  1. Wiggles: This was a hard choice because everyone but me behaved badly all week long. Still Wiggles wins (if this award can be called a win) because she would not leave Lady Human’s shoes alone. If Lady Human wants to keep a pair of outside shoes by the back door, she should be allowed to without Wiggles or anyone else making a toy out of them. Personally, I don’t understand what is so appealing about human shoes, but to each her own.
  1. Tiger AND Snoopey: They tie for second most offensive because they could not settle down and enjoy the high winds. All their barking and turning and whining, really? And they couldn’t let that feud of theirs go even though it is calming down. They still like to get in each others’ faces for a bark fest which gets me to barking and that hurts my ears.
  1. Moon the Cat: She comes in third and was offensive this week. Why? Because CAT! Cats have this annoying way of walking that is smooth and slinky and silent. Why can’t they be normal, like dogs?
  1. Me: I admit it. I don’t like to have my nails trimmed and I gave Lady Human a run for it when she tried. She was sneaky and got 4 of them despite all my flipping and flopping. Then the tall man showed up and they tricked me. She petted my head and neck and got me all relaxed and thinking that nothing of the nail trimming sort was going on and all of a sudden all my nails had been trimmed and it wasn’t so bad. I didn’t even notice. OK. Until next time.

Did I learn anything this week? Yes. Sometimes humans are sneaky. Wiggles is quick and sneaky when she is stealing shoes. Cats are always sneaky. High winds make Tiger and Snoopey irritable and irritating to me, but at least high winds don’t sneak up on you.

My transcriptionist says that I should try saying something nice about the others. Awwww.

Signed,

Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges

 

Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.