Who Is Throwing Ice Cubes? – Conversations with Doodlebug and Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. The sky is screaming again, Lady Human.

Me: Stay calm and stay inside, y’all. That’s just the storm siren.

Sweetie: Just? Just?

Me: We’re alright.

Sweetie: The sky is throwing ice cubes at us! Is that alright? What is it trying to do? Make iced tea?

Me: That’s hail. It’s one reason we have a roof and walls.

Doodlebug: What are the other reasons? What else is the sky plotting to chunk at us?

Sweetie: I am going to write a strongly worded letter to the humans in charge of weather. Whoever that is, they are not doing a good job!

©️ 2025 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Wailing Skies – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

May 28, 2024, 6:05 a.m.

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: The sky is wailing, Lady Human. Please tell it to shut up.

Me: That’s the Tornado Warning.

Sweetie: So this is another human mess.

Me: Well, the siren is human, but no, we did not invent tornadoes.

Doodlebug: Don’t they know some of us are trying to sleep?

MoonCat: They don’t care about such things. Interruptions are their forte.

Me: Nobody is supposed to sleep just now. That siren says they have detected a hook cloud in the county. That means nearby.

Sweetie: Does this mean an early breakfast?

Me: It can. Is that why you came to get me?

Sweetie: No, I came to get you because I love you. And I wanted to visit with you. And to see if I could get an early breakfast.

BOOM!

Sweetie: Oh, Lady Humaaannn. The patio door’s open.

Me: Oh, great! The wind blew it open! The latch can’t hold it. I’ll have to.

Doodlebug: If the door’s open, we can all go outside to pee.

Me: Nobody is going outside to do anything. We are hunkering down. Except for me. I’m holding the door closed. Yay.

MoonCat: Consider me hunkered down. Y’all sleep tight.

Doodlebug: How long will this go on?

Me: Until the storm passes.

Sweetie: Who turned off the lights? How am I supposed to see my breakfast…when it eventually gets here?

Me: Power’s off. And now we’ve lost the phone and the internet, too.

Doodlebug: Point me in the right direction. I’ll go sniff ’em out.

Me: Sorry, Doodle. It don’t work that way.

Sweetie: The door is pushing you, Lady Human! Bulldog it! You’re plenty big enough!

Me: At least the steel gate is holding. That’s working.

Sweetie: Nothing else around here seems to be. Okay, time for early breakfast!

Me: Sorry, girl. You’ll have to wait until I can let go of the door.

Sweetie: See, Doodle! Keeping the wind and rain out of the house is more important to humans than breakfast. They have their priorities all wrong.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Human Barking – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella, Illustrious Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, and I am in charge here. Whatever that horrible noise is, stop it now!

Snoopey: It sounds like a fake bulldog.

Stella:    It must stop! Now everybody is barking at it! Agghh! Now Doodlebug and Miss Sweetie are barking at each other! Wiggles! What are you barking at?

Wiggles:  Everybody else is barking. So…me, too!

Stella:    What started this?

Me:        It must have been me. I was gargling.

Stella:    Why would you do such a horrible thing? What is gargling and how can it be stopped?

Me:        It’s like juggling water in the back of my throat. It may help me get my whole voice back sooner.

Stella:    Wait! You found your voice? Was it in the back yard as I thought? Anyway, can you juggle the water in your throat someplace where it won’t bother the bulldogs? You heard the eruption.

Me:        Maybe. Maybe not. I think they will hear me anywhere in the house.

Stella:    Gargling must be human barking.

Me:        I don’t think so. I think human barking would be…well, barking. Or yelling. Gargling may not have a dog correlation.

Stella:    Dog correlation? You are being confusing again, Lady Human. Is that another horrible noise that we will be forced to bark at?

Me:        Are you ever really forced to bark at anything? Isn’t barking something that you choose to do?

Stella:    Are you ever really forced to gargle, Lady Human? Isn’t gargling something that you choose to do?

Me:        But I don’t gargle every day. And I don’t yell every day. I don’t even bark every day.

Stella:    To each his own. Wait again! What is that?

Me:        Sirens.

Stella:    Very well, Pack. Barking may commence.

Tiger:     (barking)

Snoopey: (barking)

Wiggles: (barking)

Doodlebug and Miss Sweetie: (barking at each other)

Stella:    You may recommence your gargling noise, Lady Human. It makes no difference now.

 

 

 

Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.