Queen Stella Holds Court – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I, Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, am entertaining a question from Lady Human. Human queens call this an audience, but that is strange because only the two of us are here. Anyway, go on and ask thy question.

Me:        Very gracious of you.

Stella:    Indeed, it is. Pray, what is thy question?

Me:        Why are you talking like that?

Stella:    Thou hast been playing the Picture Box a lot with many people on it talking this way. I think that they speak prettily.

Me:        I suppose they do. Now for my question…

Stella:    I have already answered thy question.

Me:        No, I haven’t asked it yet.

Stella:    Yes, thou didst. Thou asked about my pretty talk.

Me:        That was just because it sounded so weird coming from your mouth. I had another question.

Stella:    Thou hast my permission to proceed. Ask thy annoying question.

Me:        How do you know it is annoying?

Stella:    All human questions are annoying. I would rather be napping.

Me:        Okay, what I want to understand is…

Stella:    No, thou hast already asked thy second question.

Me:        Hey, not fair!

Stella:    I am Queen. I decide what is fair.

Me:        That alone is grossly unfair.

Stella:    Silence, churl!

Me:        Okay, off goes the television.

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Stop Staring At Me! – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella, Illustrious Queen (yes, I said it again!) of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human and I are on an errand, a wonderful, wonderful errand to the feed store. Why? I’m glad you asked. We are going to pick up bulldog food. FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FOOD! FAH-LAH-LAH-LAH-LAH-LAH-LAH-LAH-FOOD! That’s a song that I just now made up.

Me:        Probably not.

Stella:    Yes, I did. I heard it on the car music box and they had the words all wrong. Except for the fah-lah-lah part. That was all right.

Me:        Please remember to be polite in the feed store. If any other dogs are in there, they are not your business. No bulldog leash tugging.

Stella:    I’ll be polite if they are polite. I am not putting up with rude.

Me:        Ignoring rudeness is not putting up with it. Ignoring rudeness is putting rudeness in its place. It’s nothing and other people’s rudeness isn’t your business.

Stella:    Stop staring at me!

Me:        I’m not staring at you.

Stella:    Not you. Those people in that car parked next to us. How rude! This is not a zoo! I am not an exhibit!

Me:        They are smiling at you.

Stella:    And look at that. They’re pointing at me! How would they like it if I pointed my stubby little toes at them? What? Now they are waving at me! Stop invading my space!

Me:        They like you. They think you are cute.

Stella:    Cute? How undignified! I am a queen!

Me:        You could still wave or smile. Real queens do.

Stella:    What do you mean ‘real queens’? Hmmpphh! Well, maybe one small…oh, look, they’re gone. Good. It’s about time.

“Love is not rude…” [I Corinthians 13:5 KJV]

 

Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.